


How to save a life

by cristallodineve



Series: How to save a life's universe [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 66,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7337443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cristallodineve/pseuds/cristallodineve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun is sent to a boys-only foster home while his family tries to solve its issues. There he'll make new aquaitances, build new relationships, grow up... and find true love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New beginning

Oh Sehun walked past the door of the big, grey building and stopped. His feet wouldn’t move, his mind was blank. The woman who was leading him inside turned and looked at him. «Hey» she murmured, «come on, honey. It’s going to be alright. Don’t be scared.»

Sehun tried to nod, but his chin didn’t seem to move either. He was just standing there, unmoving, so utterly scared that the mere thought of setting a foot inside that place made him feel like turning on his heels and running away. It would have been stupid, though, since he had no place to return. Now, that place was his new home, and the earlier he got used to it, the better. Still, he was so scared. And the social assistant who was with him figured it out pretty good. She was a kind woman in her fifties, and Sehun was ready to bet that she had already seen dozen of kids freeze in fear just like him when entering a foster home for the first time.

The woman put a reassuring hand on his elbow, squeezing it lightly. «There’s no need to be this worried, honey. Believe me, soon you’ll learn to like here. You’ll make friends, you’ll get to know new lovely boys just like you. Most of the guests here is around your age, did you know?»

No, Sehun didn’t know. And, actually, the social assistant was beginning to get a little on his nerves, with all that kind talk. He wasn’t a transfer student on his first day of school, and he even wasn’t on a trip in some nice vacation place. All he hoped was that it were only a temporary solution. The judge himself said it, right? He just had to wait for his father to get sober and spend a year or two in that rehab clinic. That way, his mom and him could return with dad in their home, to live a normal life. It was only a temporary thing. No need to fret over it or to make his mom worry more. 

He clutched at the ragged bag he was carrying, holding it to his chest as if it was full of gold, then he made his best to face the woman with a smile. «Okay» he said, convincingly enough to make her beam broadly. 

«You’re a good boy» she complimented him, pushing a door open and leading him inside.

Sehun found himself in a big common room. A big television screen was in a corner, with three guys sitting on a rather worn-out sofa staring at it. Across the room, a couple other boys were sitting around a table, playing some card game. They barely turned their heads to glance at him, but nobody stared at him for too long. Other boys were gathered in small groups, sitting on the floor, talking to each other, fidgeting with their phones or drinking from cups what looked like tea. Sehun eyed his future mates worriedly. They all looked a little weird, to him. One of them, a small guy, was wearing flashy colours and his hair was dyed an ashy shade of blonde. When he turned, Sehun cringed, noticing that he even wore makeup on his face.

He was still in time, probably. If he just gathered enough courage to plead the social assistant, she would probably took enough pity in him to let him stay in a hotel, at least for a couple days. But even his tongue didn’t seem like it would move, now. He could just stare at those scary-looking guys, all males, utterly terrified, and now they were _staring at him too_.

«Ah, Mrs Park, you’re finally here. And you must be Sehun, am I correct?» 

They boy raised his gaze. A man with a big smile was in front of him. He looked young and friendly, and Sehun dared to offer him a small smile.

«Yes, it’s me. And you are...?»

«I’m Jongdae. You can call me Chen though, everybody does it. I’ll be your assistant here.»

Hesitantly, Sehun took the man’s hand. His grip was strong and honest, and he decided he liked him. He was better than Mrs Park, a lot better. 

«I bet you’re tired from the travel» Chen went on, handing him a small paper. «This is your room’s number. You can leave your bag and coat there and chill out a little. Dinner is in two hours.»

Sehun looked at the paper, a little unsure, but thankfully someone was approaching him.

«Hello» a boy greeted. He was the flashy-dressed one, the one who wore makeup. His voice was high-pitched and a little feminine too, but his expression was friendly, and Sehun thought that he looked less weird, up close. 

Chen looked pleased. «Great! This is Baekhyun. He’s the same age as you, isn’t it cool? Baek, what about showing Sehun around while I settle some stuff with Mrs Park here?»

«Okay!» The boy smiled to Sehun, and he averted his gaze, still a little shy. «Come. I’ll show you the dorm, then I’ll help you with your stuff and I’ll introduce you to my friends.»

The boy led him into a rather dark hallway, then along a staircase. Everything looked a little old, Sehun thought, a little ruined. How many troubled boys did that building see come and go, before him? A lot, he was sure. And how many of them were actually fine after staying there? 

«That Chen guy» he murmured, «isn’t he a little too friendly?» Baekhyun stared at him before answering.

«What? No, Chen is cool, and Xiumin isn’t that bad too. He might get bitchy if you steal food, though, I found out myself. Just never hide anything under your shirt when you get out of the kitchen, and he’ll love you. Got it?»

Sehun nodded. Baekhyun was lively and talked a lot, and he was starting to make him feel a little less tense. Maybe he could even enjoy hanging around that guy and his friends. Maybe.

They soon reached a long corridor with many doors facing. «This is the dorm» Baekhyun explained. «The house hosts ten boys, so there are just five rooms occupied. They’re all doubles. This is the Korean side, while this is the Chinese.» Sehun noticed that every door had a number on it. 

«Why Korean and Chinese?» he asked.

The other shrugged. «There are some Chinese boys here, who had to leave their country because of restriction orders and stuff. Chen and the others believed it was better to keep them separated from the Koreans, not to unsettle them too much.»

«Really? Are they...» he stopped, afraid he could say something too harsh. 

«No» Baekhyun said, «their personal stories and situations aren’t much worse than ours. Still, Chen and Xiumin thought it was better to let them have some space just for themselves. They are a rather close group of friends, you’ll see. Sometimes I’m even a little jealous.»

Sehun looked at him, and Baekhyun laughed aloud. «I was kidding. Koreans are the best- just don’t tell them, ‘mkay?» Then, the boy looked at the bag he was gripping so hard his knuckles were turning white. «I think you need to put your stuff in your room, right?»

«Probably.» Sehun showed him the paper he had been given. «Can you show me the way?»

«Oh, wow» Baekhyun grumbled, «you got a room in the Chinese side. I hope you’re fluent with Mandarin, because not many of those guys can understand Korean. Too bad. I was kinda hoping you could be my new roommate. I’m growing tired of Chanyeol’s smelly feet.»

Sehun’s shoulders hunched forward. «Are you telling me my new roommate is Chinese?»

«Yep. They aren’t bad, really. They just don’t easily mingle with us.»

Sehun was dead worried. «My Mandarin grades at school weren’t the best, honestly...»

«Neither were mine» Baekhyun smiled back, «but don’t worry, dude. You can come to our side whenever you want. Our dorm is nice and friendly. We have a vending machine with chocolate and stuff, and we throw parties at night.»  
«Parties?»  
«Well, sort of. This is the room, I think... oh.»  
«What? What is it?»  
«Maybe Chen made a mistake» Baekhyun muttered. «This is Luhan’s room.»

His expression and sudden change of tone were made Sehun cringe. «Who’s Luhan?»

«Luhan is... well, no need to make that face, he’s nothing to be scared of. We’ll just go in and I’ll introduce you guys, so you’ll see yourself. Just, please, don’t look so terrified, okay? Or you’ll make him feel bad. He’s... sensitive.» And he knocked on the wooden door, the number on it was 10. «Luhan, we’re coming in, okay?» 

Still desperately holding on his bag as if it could save him, Sehun walked inside. The room wasn’t too small, which immediately pleased him. Two twin beds were in the middle, with two small bed tables beside, two identical closets and two desks who could be lifted and pinned to the wall to earn more space. One of them was occupied, and the boy who was sitting there raised his head to look at them. 

«Hello Luhanie» Baekhyun beamed happily, «I think you’ll have company from now on. This is Sehun.»

Sehun blinked. So _this_ was Luhan? Baekhyun was right, he was nothing to be scared about. 

«Hello» Sehun greeted. The boy stared back at him, then smiled lightly. He was of medium height, slender and lean, with chestnut hair and deep, understanding black eyes. Everything about him was small and chiselled, Sehun thought, and he would have called him cute, if it wasn’t for a weird aura surrounding him. The way Baekhyun talked about him earlier still rang in his ears. What was Luhan’s problem? It was something serious, he was sure of it. 

«It will be nice to have a roommate after a while, right? I bet you two will get along» Baekhyun was still taking, patting on Luhan’s narrow shoulder, while the boy kept smiling sweetly. He still hadn’t told a word, Sehun marvelled. «I mean, everyone gets tired of the silence, after a while.»

Luhan shrugged and his smile faltered a little. Suddenly, Sehun realized what was wrong with him. 

The boy couldn’t talk. He was mute.

«This is your bed» Baekhyun was telling him, pointing at the unmade one of the two beds, «and this is your closet. There’s a small locker inside, you can put here money and precious stuff, but make sure you won’t lose the key or Chen won’t give you another. He’s pretty strict about this, actually. He wants us to become responsible of our stuff. This shall be your desk...»

Sehun put his bag on the bed, not daring to glance towards Luhan. The boy, who had been reading a book before he came in, was still looking at him. Thanks God Baekhyun’s continuous chatters were distracting him, because he found those staring eyes a little unnerving. 

«These are your blankets» the other said, throwing a fresh bunch at him, «laundry day is on Saturday, keep it in mind. If you run out of socks or whatever though, don’t worry, there’s a laundry machine downstairs, but you’ll need coins to make it work.»

«Alright» Sehun muttered, beginning to make his bed. Luhan rose from his chair and approached to help. «Thanks» Sehun said, earning another small smile in return. 

Baekhyun handed him a pillow, then looked at his watch. «Maybe we could get downstairs. We have some other spare time before dinner, I might introduce you to some other people. What about coming with us, Luhan?»

The Chinese guy smiled at him, raising a hand slightly. A polite refuse, and Sehun let out a small sigh of relief.

«Okay, we’ll see you later then. Bye!»

Luhan waved at them before returning to his book.

«God» Sehun whispered, when they closed the door behind their backs, «what’s wrong with him?»

Baekhyun shoved his hands in his pockets, scowling. «You are smart enough to figure by yourself, I guess.»

«Is he a mute?»

«Not exactly. According to Tao, one of the Chinese guys, he suffered some sort of trauma which turned him into this. Tao says that he has known him since they were little, and that he was very loud and talkative as a child. I don’t know about you, but I think whoever made him like this deserve nothing but to die.»

Sehun regretted his previous rudeness. «Was he abused?»

Baekhyun shook his head. «We don’t really know. Nobody knows. He won’t talk to anyone, not even to Chen or Xiumin, he won’t even write, he’s totally blocked. It’s like he decided not to trust anyone in this world. When he got here, he was put in a room by himself because he was too hurt to enjoy other people’s company. He kept sitting silently all alone, staring into nothing or crying without spilling even the faintest sound. It was heartbreaking, believe me. Little by little, Tao managed to let him out of his shell. Still, he won’t talk to a living soul. This is why I was a little taken aback by Chen’s decision, before.» And he looked at him rather sternly.

«I didn’t mean to be impolite to him, really» Sehun defended himself. «I was just...» _I was scared. And worried. And tired. And I want my mom, my dad and my life just as it was before._

Baekhyun’s gaze softened. «You’ll love him like everyone does when you’ll get to know him a little more, Sehun. Just don’t act so scared when he’s around next time, okay?»

«Okay.»

«Now come with me» Baekhyun beamed, grabbing his hand and pulling him down by the stairs. 

\---oOo---

In the end, dinnertime came. While Baekhyun introduced him to the other Korean boys in the foster home, Sehun did his best to remember all the names and the faces he was told, but he really couldn’t associate a name to the boy who was sitting across him, wolfing down a cup of soup. 

«Er» he hesitated. «Let’s see... Baekhyun’s roommate, right? I’m sorry, I’m a mess with names and faces. Who are you already?»

«It’s Chanyeol, newbie» the other beamed, his mouth half full. Sehun liked him. He was tall, all long limbs and pointy ears, and his roaring laughter could be heard from afar. 

«Seconds!» Chanyeol yelled, waving at a small guy holding a big pot. 

«You’ll get fat» Baekhyun muttered. «You’re eating too much.»

«But this is so delicious.» Chanyeol smiled at the man who was now pouring some other broth on his cup. «Xiumin is the best cook in the world.»

«Come on, it’s not true.» The man blushed. He was short and slender, and his round face and almond-shaped eyes were kind and friendly. So, he was Xiumin, the other assistant of the foster home. Wearing an apron, his cheeks flushed because of the effort of holding such a large pot, he didn’t look much of a psychologist, as Baekhyun told him he was.

«Yep, he’s the mom of the bunch» Baekhyun winked at him. «While Chen’s the dad.»

Sehun didn’t reply to that weird statement. He was busy watching the group gathered on the other side of the table, four foreign-looking guys chatting in Mandarin while enjoying their meal. Luhan was with them, and he kept sipping silently at his soup while listening to the others talk. He looked even smaller, sitting next to a tall, frightening guy with blonde hair, cruel slitted eyes and a certain gangsta aura which made Sehun uneasy. Baekhyun told him he was the famous Tao who protected and helped Luhan. Well, he didn’t exactly look like the gentle and generous kind.

«What about throwing a party, later?» Chanyeol asked, when Xiumin left to get back in the kitchen. «We should welcome our little Sehun properly. I still have some booze that Chen didn’t find last time» he added, lowering his voice in a whisper.

Baekhyun looked worried. «Seriously, Yeol, I don’t think it’s a good idea... they’ll get mad at us.»

«A party isn’t a real party without a little fun.»

«I don’t drink» Sehun stated. He never tasted anything with alcohol in it, he didn’t want to turn in a weeping mess like his father did when he drank.

Chanyeol huffed. «You’ve already spent too much time with Baekhyun. You’re no fun, just like him.»

Baekhyun stuck out his tongue. 

«We might just put on some music and have fun» a small guy with big eyes suggested. Sehun believed his name was Kyungsoo. 

«Sounds boring already» Chanyeol protested.

«Shall we invite the Chinese too? Sehun’s roommate is one of them, after all.»

«Oh yeah, I’d love us to be all cramped up in our room while having a bunch of guys staring and saying nothing.»

«I’d like to meet them, I think» Sehun said. He noticed Kyungsoo didn’t seem too pleased with Chanyeol’s reply, and he didn’t want them to fight over a stupid party. The tall guy looked like the troublemaker of the group. Also, if he had to be sincere, he wasn’t in the mood for anything like that.

«I’ll go tell Tao» Baekhyun said, dragging his chair to join the Chinese group. 

Chanyeol leaned in to speak in Sehun’s ear. «I’m afraid our queen here has a serious crush already.»

Sehun blinked. «What?!»

The other laughed. «I wasn’t talking about you! Look. Baek is ogling Tao as if he hasn’t seen a male before. He wouldn’t miss a chance to get to the Chinese’s room, lately.»

Sehun nodded. He guessed Baekhyun liked boys, but one thing was imagining it, another was witnessing it with his own eyes, while he sat on that tall guy’s lap and casually hung an arm around his neck. Luhan was watching them with his perpetual light smile lingering on his lips.

«Actually, a lot of us swing that way» Chanyeol added. «Soon you’ll be aware of the couples. They are unusually discreet, tonight, but I have to admit that sometimes is a little weird to be in the middle of them. Especially while we watch movies. If you turn, you’ll end to see just guys kissing or groping or even _worse_.»

«Chanyeol» Kyungsoo warned him, noticing that Sehun turned a little pale at those words.

«Well, I’m sorry» the tall one said. «I mean, I’m okay with that, actually. Just, sometimes I miss having a girl around, if you get what I mean. I’m no homophobe, I swear. I mean, the queen of gays is my _roommate_. If I wasn’t a tolerant guy, I’d already thrown him out of the window.»

Sehun nodded again, without joining the general laugh that spread around the table. Maybe he was turning mute too. Thankfully enough, Kyungsoo barged in to explain a little further.

«You see, Chanyeol, Joonmyeon and Yixing are the only straight ones here. The others are all prettily matched.»

«Really?» Sehun was curious. «And you too?»

«Yes. My boyfriend is Kai, the tall one who’s helping Xiumin over there.» The boy blushed a little while telling him, and Sehun found it cute.  
«Wow» he commented. «He’s... peculiar.»

«His mother was Japanese» Kyungsoo added. «Hence his dark skin. He attended a dance academy, but he was forced to quit because his teacher took a little too interest in him and he had to punch him in the face not to get raped. Still, the pig began to stalk him to the point that he had to hide here to be safe. Thank God, that man won’t come harassing him anymore, Chen and Xiumin wouldn’t let him near this place.» Sehun watched, as Kyungsoo’s fists balled in his lap and his gaze turned icy cold. He was really in love, he thought. The mere thought of his beloved being the object of someone’s twisted desire was enough to anger him.

Chanyeol was still looking at him, though. «And you?»

Sehun froze. «What?»

«Well, people is already making bets, you know. Are you gay or not? Anyway, please take notice that Baekhyun is the only one available, right now.»

«Really?» Sehun marvelled, turning to watch the boy flirt shamelessly with Tao. «Then Tao’s already...»

«He’s Yi Fan’s boyfriend» Kyungsoo intruded, pointing at one of the Chinese guys. «The tall one sitting beside.»

«Oh.» A couple of giants, Sehun thought. Still, they kind of suited each other. They were both sulky and somewhat gloomy-looking.

«Yep. They’re fucking married, and Baek knows it. He’s not doing anything serious with Tao, don’t worry. He’s just a natural flirt. Yi Fan knows and is not worried about that.»

Sehun did his best to digest all those info quickly. So, a good half of the boys was gay, and the other half was okay with that. Chanyeol thought Baekhyun was a bit of a weirdo but was more than okay rooming with him. They asked him about his own sexuality but then they didn’t insist, just letting him be. Did it make any sense, actually? Not that his life made much more sense, lately.

Everything was such a huge mess.

«Hey Sehun» Chen called, leaning over him while putting the dirty dishes in a tray, «would you mind coming to my office? I’d like to have a little chat with you.»

Sehun had no other choice but to follow him. The so-called office was a small storage room next to a hot and steamy kitchen, where the guy called Xiumin was putting all the dishes in a sink. «I’ll close the door to let you guys have a little privacy» he said, smiling. 

«I’ll see you later, Minseok» Chen told him, smiling back, and the shorter one closed the kitchen’s door behind his back. Sehun sat on a chair, feeling a little suffocating. Chen sat behind a small desk covered in papers and documents. Piles of those were on the floor, peeking out of a full cabinet and scattered on every surface available. A stove with a kettle and a pot was on a corner, and Sehun suddenly felt thirsty.

«So, how are you feeling right now? I saw you talking to the others during dinner.»

Sehun lowered his gaze. «Yes, they’ve all been nice to me.»

«I know it might sound cheesy, but if you’d happen to have some problem, no matter what, you can tell me or Minseok... or Xiumin, as the others call him. Believe it or not, we are a family. Minseok and me took this place over before it was abandoned, and turned it into a foster home for boys. It was his idea, actually. Since we can’t have children on our own, we could at least give our love to those who were suffering.» He paused, looking at him with a kind smile. «Do you think it’s weird?»

Sehun was surprised. He already noticed the ring Chen wore at his left hand, but he didn’t link it with the one Minseok, or Xiumin, had. «So he’s your husband?»

Chen nodded. «Yeah. We tried to adopt, but since I have a heart disease, nobody would let us. Go explain those cold burocrats that a couple pills and a healthy style of life can make me live a hundred years, but oh well. We’re happy like this. We consider all of you nothing less than our children. We would do whatever is in our power to help you.»

Horrified, Sehun felt his eyes begin to swell with tears. «Well... thanks. I’m happy I met nice people like you, really, and the other boys seem fine too. Still, I hope you won’t get offended if I say that I won’t stay here for long. I mean, my father has a problem with alcohol, I bet you already know. You see, before coming here we dropped him at this rehab centre, he looked determined to do everything right, this time. He loves me and my mom, he really does. He’s just a weak man, he can’t resist shoju, this is why he lost his job and we lost our home to repay his debts. He’s a good man, really. He is sorry for what he did. He cried, before leaving us.» His voice faltered, and his chest felt tight. Since when had he felt so miserable? He hadn’t even realized he was so homesick and lonely until Chen asked him directly.

Chen put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. «It’s alright, Sehun» he said. «No need to think about sad things, now.»

Sehun nodded, wiping his tears with his hand. Chen handed him a tissue. «Would you like a cup of tea, before going to bed?»

«I wouldn’t mind, actually.»

Chen smiled, while preparing a small pot on a stove and filling it with water. Soon, the familiar scent of tea filled the small office, and Sehun began to feel better. 

«I hope Baekhyun helped you, before.»

«Oh, yes, he’s been nice to me.»

«He talks very enthusiastically about you. I’m glad you put him at ease. People tend to judge him because of his looks, and he often gets hurt.»

Sehun raised his gaze. «If I can ask, Chen, what’s Baekhyun’s story? Why does he hide his face beneath so many layers of makeup? He doesn’t really need it.» 

Chen shook his head. «Baekhyun is one of those who have been here the longest» he admitted. «His mother abandoned him when he was fourteen years old and never claimed him back. He ran away from at least three different orphanages before coming here. He was...» The man’s eyes were filled with sadness. «He was so hurt, poor thing, he would cry himself to sleep right in Minseok’s arms every night. You say he paints his face _now_ , but you really should have seen what he did to himself before. He wandered around dressed in girls’ clothes, and he wanted people to call him Baekhye. The others guys bullied him senseless, you can imagine how hard it was, for him. His mother was a prostitute, and since she was also an addict and was always broke, she sold her own son for money too. He’s still dealing with this, having continuous sessions with Minseok and struggling with the female part of himself. Luckily enough, the other boys accepted him in their group. They all love him, now. They would do anything to protect him, I think.»

Sehun was shocked. A mother who painted her son’s face, put girls’ clothes on him and made him meet old, horrible and perverted men was unbelievable, for him. His mom was a kind-hearted, silent woman, who would never lay a single finger on him, not even when he deserved it. 

«I think he’s cool» Sehun murmured. «For enduring all this, I mean. He’s brave.» _I’m not that brave. I even fear my roommate, and he can’t even yell at me._

«I agree with you» Chen said, handing him a cup full of tea, before taking a sip from his own. «Have you already met Luhan?»  
Feeling a little guilty, Sehun nodded. 

«He improved a lot since he came here. Minseok wanted me to teach him signs language, but I’m positive that he will manage to open his mouth and talk in a few time. He just needs friends to make him feel less lonely, and things will mend naturally.» Chen looked at him straight in the eye. «When you came here, I immediately understood you were the right one to room with him, Sehun. Your eyes are kind and I’m sure your heart is too. Luhan needs just love and understanding, nothing more.»

Sehun yawned. He was dead tired, and Chen took notice.

«I shall let you leave, now» he said. «Just make sure not to go to bed too late, okay? And don’t party too hard.»

Sehun blinked, surprised, and Chen laughed aloud. «Chanyeol can’t keep his mouth shut for the life of it. I don’t mind a little night-time ruckus in the dorms, really. Just make sure you don’t exhaust yourself.»

Sehun bad his goodnight to Chen, then stood to leave the room. Before he closed the door behind his back, he saw Xiumin approach his husband, who was still sitting, and put his arms around him, leaning in for a kiss.

He felt even lonelier, while he climbed the dark stairs towards the dorm.

Baekhyun was waiting for him in the corridor. «Hey pretty boy, where the heck have you been? Come to my room. We’ve been waiting for ages.»

Sehun didn’t want to refuse harshly, but really, the mere thought of spending the night with some loud music pounding in his ears was exhausting. «Well, Baekhyun... you’re all very kind, really... but I had a pretty hard day and...»

The other rolled his eyes. «Yes, yes, I know. Chen warned you and stuff. Don’t get to bed too late, blah blah blah. Come» he repeated, grabbing his wrist. Sehun had no other choice but to follow. Baekhyun even changed for the occasion, and he was wearing a rather girly white tank top with what totally looked like lace in the front. His light blond hair was tied in a small knot on top of his head, and his elegantly shaped eyes were carefully contoured with eyeliner. It kind of suited him, Sehun thought. He was cute, he realized, immediately feeling a pang of guilt. Chen said Baekhyun was still struggling with the aftermath of his abuse. He really shouldn’t indulge in inappropriate thoughts about him...

The boys welcomed him clapping their hands and screaming loudly. Sehun stood in the doorway, feeling awkward. Everyone was there: Chanyeol, big and somewhat ungraceful, with terribly worn-out pyjama shorts and tee on, was busy mixing drinks in a bowl to make a punch of some sort with a guy whose name Sehun couldn’t remember. Kyungsoo sat together with his boyfriend Kai on one of the two beds, and he raised the beer can he was holding to greet him. Sehun joined the two, eyeing the other group gathered near the window, the four Chinese boys. Yi Fan, the tallest of all, was keeping his boyfriend Tao close, an arm curled around the other’s slender waist, while another boy Sehun didn’t know was sitting on the window frame, next to Luhan, who was carefully gulping down a glass of what looked like beer. He didn’t like it, judging from the disgusted grimace he made while drinking.

Baekhyun handed him a bag of chips and smiled. «No need to be this tense» he told him. «We’re not at school or whatnot. Why don’t you help me choosing some music instead of sulking in a corner?»

Sehun did as he had been told, scrolling down a track list in the boy’s laptop while selecting some songs. He soon found out that Baekhyun’s taste in music was flawless, no Taylor Swift or girly stuff, just old school rock and a little bit of alternative, just the way he liked.

«God, I love this song» Baekhyun smiled at him when Lacuna Coil’s heavy guitar sound resounded in the room. «You made a good choice.»

After a general initial awkwardness, things went pretty smoothly. Sehun found himself laughing when Chanyeol challenged Baekhyun saying that he would be way prettier than him with makeup on, and the other spent a good half an hour painting the taller one’s face. The result was predictable enough: Baekhyun was the most fabulous, period. Things slowed down a little when one of the Chinese, Yixing, grabbed a guitar and started strumming a weird Mandarin song. Then Yi Fan and Tao made quite a show trying to imitate some rapper none of the Koreans had idea who he was. Sehun noticed that Luhan kept perfectly silent during the whole performance, but that he grinned and somehow soundlessly chuckled, looking happy. He thought about what Baekhyun told him before, and he found himself in agreement. Looking at that kid was heartbreaking. His suffering seemed to seep through that wall of silence he hide himself behind, even if he kept smiling.

Everything changed, though, when the others began to get back to their rooms. Kyungsoo was all giggly and tipsy, and Kai had to carry him almost bridal style. Tao and Yi Fan left after bowing to him, then Yixing and a Korean called Joonmyeon went out bringing the guitar (which was Chanyeol’s) and a six pack with them.

«Well, goodnight you two» Chanyeol said, gathering the trash scattered around the floor.

«Make nice dreams, Sehunie» Baekhyun screamed, throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him in a suffocating hug. «I love you!»  
«Go to bed, you Latin lover, you’re wasted and you’re talking nonsense.» Chanyeol disentangled the shorter one from Sehun’s arms. «Time to remove all that junk on your pretty face.»

«Awwww... but I want to stay up till morning!»

«Goodnight, you guys» Chanyeol winked at Sehun and Luhan, «see you tomorrow.»

«Well, this was quite the night» Sehun commented, when he closed his room’s door behind his back. Luhan looked at him and nodded encouragingly.

Fuck, Sehun pondered, he had to keep in mind that guy couldn’t talk. There was no point telling him such things. He began fumbling with his clothes, noticing that Luhan looked unsure of what to do as well. None of them, for some reason, seemed keen to undress in front of the other.

«You can shower first, if you want.» 

Luhan nodded frantically, before grabbing his pyjamas and clean underwear and disappearing behind the bathroom’s door, locking it with a loud click. 

Sehun was alone again, and this time, before he could help himself, the tears he had been holding back began to spill, running freely down his cheeks. «What am I doing here?» he whispered to the empty room.

He soon lost track of time passing, and he jumped when he heard Luhan unlocking the door and stepping back in, fresh and fully dressed. The Chinese boy stared at him for a moment, taking in his teary face and his miserable expression, then he slowly walked closer. 

«Sorry» Sehun muttered, «sorry, I’m alright, really. I just...» He couldn’t go on. Careful not to get too close, Luhan sat on Sehun’s bed, black eyes big and inquiring.

Sehun averted his gaze. He couldn’t look at him in the face, not when he was nothing but a quivering and sobbing mess and he felt so ashamed of his own weakness. Fuck, probably everyone in the foster home had bigger problems than him in life, but he was ready to bet none of them was sitting somewhere crying his eyes out like he did. He felt pathetic, under Luhan’s dumbfounded gaze. 

Then, he felt it. A caress, light, almost feathery touch. He raised his head, and he saw that Luhan’s hand was on his arm, stroking it slightly.  
For a moment, he felt the urge to say something, to explain to the other boy why he was crying, to tell him about his previous talk with Chen and how he had appreciated the party Baekhyun and Chanyeol organized for him, but then he thought it would be just foolish. Luhan would not answer to his words, and well, someone like him didn’t need long and painful explanations to sympathise with his sadness. He could see the understanding painted all over his face, and this made him feel surprisingly better.

He offered to him a weak smile, doing his best to wipe the tears away from his eyes. Luhan let out a small sigh, looking somewhat relieved to see his roommate’s little crisis was already over. 

Sehun showered and changed in the bathroom, just like Luhan did, and when he came back he found out that the other boy already dimmed the light and went under the covers. «Let’s call it a day» Sehun said, before lying in his own bed. The covers smelled nice, he thought, almost like home.

«Good night, Luhan» he murmured, before closing his eyes. Silence was the only answer to his words, while he drifted quickly into sleep. 

Luhan stayed awake for a while, watching his roommate’s unmoving form until his eyes closed.


	2. Discoveries

Something was ringing loudly. Sehun stretched and sat up, looking around though his still misty eyes. Where the hell was he again? Then he remembered: the car ride, the foster home, the boys, Xiumin and Chen. Baekhyun and Chanyeol and the Chinese ones. And then, his new roommate: Luhan.

Said Luhan was currently sitting on the mattress just like him, rubbing his eyes and looking rather grumpy. 

«Did you sleep nice?» Sehun asked, and the other shrugged. His hair was a mess, and he kept stroking it away from his face. 

Sehun did his best to remember: Chen told breakfast was at eight o’clock. «Would you like going to wash up first?»

Luhan nodded, then began to fumble with some clothes carelessly thrown on his desk’s chair. He smelled a tee, then discarded it in a laundry bin near the bathroom’s door and chose a clean one from his closet. Sehun caught himself staring at him while he was busy choosing a pair of trousers. He was an oddly handsome boy. His face was almost feminine and his frame was slender, with an almost impossibly narrow waist and shoulders, but his legs and thighs gave of an impression of strength. He could see the muscles stretching beneath the fair skin. Maybe Luhan did some sports? Not that he could ask, anyway. Still, he made a mental note to ask Baekhyun if he knew some way of communicating with him. He knew Luhan didn’t know the sign language, since Chen was still hoping in a recover, but he kept wondering if an actual conversation with him was possible. Yes or no questions were okay, but it was kind of depressing. He had the feeling that Luhan had many things to say, even if he kept his mouth tightly shut.

The other entered the bathroom and closed the door, and Sehun was alone again. He made his bed, then he lined a tee, a pair of tight-fitting jeans and one of his favourite hoodies on the comforter. Then, after a little hesitation, he made also Luhan’s bed. And while his hands were moving, his mind went way faster.

When he was told he would have stayed at a foster home for boys for a while, his feelings went overdrive. Fear and worry were the strongest, but the thought of being alone in a place full of strangers wasn’t the only reason beneath. 

The truth was that he frequently questioned his sexuality, before, and that he was never able to figure out if he was het or gay or even bi. He messed around with some girls in school, but it wasn’t anything serious, and he did it just because everyone seemed to enjoy holding hands, kissing or dating. Actually, he found it so boring he felt like yawning just thinking about it. Girls in his neighbourhood and school were all the same: ambitious, nicely polished and clothed like dolls, chatty and overflowing with that “cute” attitude which seemed so popular. He didn’t like it, honestly. He found it fake.

The only time he felt sexually attracted to someone was with a boy. It hadn’t been love—he was sure of that, but still, he remembered it very well: at school, after P.E., in the locker room, one of his classmates was changing in front of him. If he closed his eyes, he still could see his toned body, all muscles flexing and tendons stretching, droplets of sweat trailing down fair skin, a thin patch of dark hair disappearing into the boxers’ elastic... 

He could remember his body responding to that sight, and how bad he felt after. He never felt that way, while holding hands or making out with his girlfriends. 

Since that day, he refused to date anyone. He was too confused, and he needed to clear his mind. He believed he was still young, and that he would have figured out, soon or later.

 _Look at yourself now, Oh Sehun: you’re sharing a room with a hot guy and you’re already fancying him. Aren’t you pathetic?_  
He quietly laughed to himself. Luhan got out of the bathroom a few minutes later, seeming not too pleased, and Sehun noticed he kept stroking his hair away from his eyes like before. It was still messy, even if he looked like he did his best to smooth it out nicely.

«Try with this» Sehun said, throwing him a bottle of hair product. «Works wonders for me.»

Luhan stared at the bottle for a while, then uncapped it and smelled with a little frown. Sehun smirked, then approached him. «Here, let me help you.» 

He took the bottle from the boy’s hands, then squeezed some product in his palm and began to comb Luhan’s fringe with his fingertips.  
«You look better now» he commented afterwards. The other didn’t reply, but raised his gaze for a mere second, black pupils sucking him in, then nodded and bowed slightly before leaving. 

Sehun stayed there, his hand still slick with the remnants of the lotion, his heart beating absurdly fast. He waited, to gain back his composure, then joined the others for breakfast.

\---oOo---

«Chen told me you settled in pretty well. I’m glad to hear that you get along with the others.»

«Yeah, they’re all nice to me.» 

«And how are you dealing with your feelings? Are you homesick?»

Sehun shrugged. «A little» he lied, forcing himself to keep a straight face. He had to make his best efforts trying _not_ to think about his family, otherwise tears would start to flow in the weirdest moments. 

«There’s nothing bad about feeling lonely, Sehun» Xiumin murmured, «it’s normal. Your mom and dad love you, and you love them. It’s okay missing them.» 

«Yes» Sehun repeated, stupidly. Xiumin’s office was bigger and way more comfortable than the small one where Chen welcomed him the day before. They were both sitting on a sofa, and in front of Sehun there was a small table with a pitcher of fresh tea and a bowl of candies. The psychologist talked to him in a soothing tone and took notes from time to time typing on his laptop. In spite of the nice environment and quiet conversation, Sehun felt terribly blocked, at the beginning of the session. For some reason, he immediately liked Chen, but didn’t seem able to put the same trust in the man’s husband. He actually wondered why, since Xiumin was nothing but warm and encouraging to him the whole time. 

«Chen will be back soon» Xiumin reassured him. «He left to drive the boys to school. We both agreed to let you have a couple days off, to adjust to all these changes. We already informed your school, don’t worry.»

«Thank you» Sehun whispered. School was the last of his problems, actually, but he was pretty relieved about the two assistants’ decision. He needed a little time off, there was no doubt about it. 

«Did you get any phone call from your parents, since you came here?»

Sehun shook his head. His mom was a sobbing mess, when she left him in Mrs Park care and waved him goodbye. He doubted she was able to call him without bursting out crying. And his dad wasn’t allowed to call him, since the rehab centre’s policy prevented him from doing that. He wasn’t sure about it, but Mrs Park would probably arrange a meeting, sooner or later. He still couldn’t decide if he was happy or scared about it.

Like evoked from their words, a phone rang somewhere. «Please, excuse me» Xiumin apologized, smiling to him. «I’ll be back quickly.»

When he left, Sehun relaxed a little. Something about Xiumin still made him uneasy, and when the man left he felt immediately better, as if the air in the room suddenly turned more breathable. He leaned his head back to get a little rest, and that was when he noticed the folder.  
It was bright red, peeking from under Xiumin’s laptop, and it had a label with a few Chinese characters he couldn’t read along with some Korean ones. And the Korean ones said _Luhan_.

Sehun sat on the edge of the sofa. The temptation was irresistible. He could hear Xiumin talking on the phone, and he believed he had a few minutes to satisfy his curiosity. The boy couldn’t talk, he reminded to himself, and the others, chatterbox Baekhyun included, seemed rather tight-lipped about his past. Chances were they didn’t know either, since Luhan’s situation was so peculiar. 

He just needed to be quick.

He took the folder and opened it carefully. The first papers he found were written in Chinese, and he felt disappointed because he didn’t understand a single word. He stared at a small picture of Luhan, and he believed it was Immigration papers, something important but not really helpful. He put those aside, and luckily found some other documents written in Koreans, along with some hand-written notes Xiumin probably wrote himself during Luhan’s first days in the foster home. 

_2016-01-08: Just arrived, refuses to leave his room. Extremely nervous, refuses to eat or even to lie down to sleep. Seems terrified. Still not sure if he can understand Korean. Talking to him in Chinese isn’t of any help either. Tried to check his health, but he shoved the doctor away, refusing to undress._

_2016-01-09: Luhan won’t talk to me or to the others. He accepted some bread, but discarded it after a couple bites looking nauseous. Fainted in the evening, and I finally managed to check on him. He’s in a state of severe malnutrition and dehydration. I suspect anorexia or another eating disorder. When he woke up, he looked scared but at least he didn’t push me away and let me stay by his side while he finally slept. Accepted to drink a cup of tea._

_2016-01-10: Luhan seems a little more comfortable having me or Jongdae around, but still won’t open his mouth to talk. I asked Zitao to come and have a word with him, and Luhan seemed to relax immediately when he began to talk in Chinese. The two know each other, I hope this can be of some help. Ate a small bowl of porridge in the evening, but he threw out after a couple hours. I suspect he’s been fasting for too long and his body is too damaged to accept the food._

_2016-01-11: Luhan had a seizure in the middle of the night._

_2016-01-12: Luhan is in the hospital. Jongdae and me are taking turns not to let him alone. I’m afraid he could wake up and panic. I’m worried. I’ve never felt this helpless towards one of our children. I’m afraid he’s already lost._

_2016-01-16: Back at the foster home. The doctors gave us some medicine to help him cope with the terrible stress he underwent. He looks a little better now, his expression is livelier even if he still not talking. Managed to eat some rice at lunch, I had to feed him like a baby. He’s so thin his arms look like sticks. When I got out of his room, I couldn’t help myself and cried._

_2016-01-17: Don’t know what to do anymore. Luhan’s physical condition is improving, but he won’t talk to save his life. Zitao is being a darling spending a lot of time with him, but we’re not going anywhere. Jongdae keeps telling me to be patient, but I really can’t just sit and wait. This boy is in pain, I need to help him no matter what._

_2016-01-18: Finally the Chinese social assistants came to tell us what happened to Luhan. I couldn’t sleep afterwards. Jongdae is worried because of me, says he never saw me this frantic. We fought in the evening._

_2016-01-19: I lost it and cried in front of Luhan. I felt terrible, but somehow my weakness elicited a reaction in him. He came to me and hugged me tight. I felt so grateful. This is the first small result we got in all this time. I apologized to Jongdae before going to bed, and we both acknowledged that Luhan made big improvements. I even agreed to wait some more before teaching him signs language. Maybe Jongdae is right and he will begin to talk, sooner or later._

_2016-01-20: Luhan had dinner with the other boys, who were all very nice to him. I’m proud of them. Still doesn’t talk._

_2016-01-21: Ate meat and soup without any problem, but doesn’t talk._

_2016-01-22: First day in the new school went smoothly. Still doesn’t talk. Tried to make him write down something, but refused to. He can write, though, because he didn’t seem to have any problems with his homework. I don’t know what to do._

_2016-01-23: I’m sincerely worried the language areas in his brain are damaged._

_2016-02-03: Had a CAT scan performed on him, but everything is fine. He is less scrawny now, and I can say he looks really good. While driving home from the hospital, I asked him if he was alright, and, I swear by God, he opened his mouth and was about to reply, but when he realized it the he sealed his lips, as if to prevent himself from talking. It’s something psychological, at least now we’re sure of it._

_2016-02-15: Now Luhan lives pretty normally, even if he still refuses to talk. He does everything the other boys do. Physically, he’s fully recovered and healthy, and every morning he greets Jongdae and me with a smile and a hug. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried everything, I’ve used every technique or method I’m aware of, but I couldn’t obtain any result. I can’t understand him, no matter how hard I try. My heart aches. I’ve grown attached to this boy as if he really were part of my family. Is it very unprofessional of me? I just wish I could be of some help._

Sehun felt bad. He really should not read any further, but he was determined to gain at least a little information. He put aside Xiumin’s personal notes, finding a birth certificate and some papers regarding school. Luhan’s grades were excellent, he noticed. 

«He’s brighter than me» he murmured, reading further. Then, he found the newspaper cutting. It was in Chinese, but luckily Xiumin translated it into Korean, probably because he wasn’t too familiar with Mandarin himself.

_Tragedy in Beijing’s suburbs. On 2016-01-06, some people heard cries and gunshots coming from a house nearby. When the police came, the agents found a crime scene worth of a horror movie. The body of a woman was lying face down in a sitting room which was painted in her own blood, and a teen was sitting in a corner, covered in blood and in an evident state of shock. It was immediately clear that he wasn’t the author of the killing, since the murderer decided to spare him for an unknown reason. The boy was identified as Luhan, the son of minister Han, who died because of an illness two years ago, and the dead woman as his mother. The murder reminds of those performed by the Chinese mafia, but nor the deceased minister nor his widow seemed to have connections with the racketeering. The boy was immediately sent to Korea to be put into a foster home for security reasons._

«What the hell are you doing?»

Sehun jumped. He was so absorbed in his reading that he didn’t hear Xiumin approaching.

The man abruptly took the papers away from him. «You are not allowed to read this» he spat. «It’s private.»

«I’m... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry, really. I just wanted...»

«Get out of here.»

«What?»

«Get the hell out of here.» Xiumin was furious. «Be sure you won’t cross my path for today, or I won’t respond of myself.»

Sehun was quick to comply. He turned while leaving, just in time to see Xiumin’s pained expression before the door shut violently.

\---oOo---

The other boys returned from school late in the afternoon. Sehun was lying on his bed reading an old manga when Luhan came in, followed by Baekhyun. 

«Sehunie!» Baekhyun greeted him, before jumping on his bed and settling next to him. «It’s not fair we had to go to school while you were here doing nothing. I even had to do P.E. class, God, I hate it.»

Luhan giggled soundlessly as he always did, dropping his bag on his desk. Baekhyun threw his arm across Sehun’s chest and snuggled closer. «Cuddle me» he pouted. «I’m sad. My classmates teased me because I couldn’t jump on the trestle.»

Without thinking, Sehun complied, putting his arm around the smaller boy’s thin shoulders. His mind was elsewhere and his eyes were focused on Luhan, who was checking something on one of his textbooks. 

He tried to picture him sitting alone in a room splattered with blood, and he felt like throwing up. «Aww, cuddle time already over?» Baekhyun protested, when Sehun gently pushed him away. «You’re so cold-hearted, just like Chanyeol. He hates cuddling too.»

«What on Earth are you wearing?» Sehun asked, looking at him for the first time since he came in.

«Like it? It’s a ladies’ shirt, I loved the colour. You know, it’s weird: I think your hair smell the same as Luhan’s.»

«Byun Baekhyun» Chanyeol shouted from across the corridor, «COME HERE IMMEDIATELY AND CLEAN THE MESS YOU’VE DISCARDED ON MY BED!» 

Baekhyun was on his feet in a flash. «Whoops, gotta go. See you later, guys.» 

Sehun watched him going. Yeah, he was definitely wearing ladies’ clothing, but he had to admit it suited him kind of well.

Still sitting on his desk, Luhan looked at him and shook his head with a smile. Sehun tried to do the same, but he found out he really couldn’t stare at him for too long without feeling bad. 

He tried concentrating on his comic book while Luhan began doing his homework, but he really couldn’t focus. 

Truth was, he felt guilty.

«Luhan» he murmured, making the boy turn to face him with a quizzical expression on his face, «Luhan, I think I’ve something to tell you.»

The boy blinked once, surprised, then turned his chair to face him properly. Sehun felt his throat turn dry. 

He felt bad for triggering Xiumin’s rage, but he was sure the psychologist’s reaction was mostly caused by the deep affection he felt towards Luhan. Luhan was the one he worried the most for, dear God, he even fed him when he was too weak to take care of himself. He would have yelled too, if he would find some brat reading through his private papers, especially those where he had been venting his frustrations. He knew he would need to apologize to him, but he could do it later. 

There was someone else he owe an apology to, first.

«Today I had a session with Xiumin» he began, keeping his eyes on the mattress. «When he left to answer the phone, I looked through a record which was about you. Something very personal.»

He dared to raise his gaze, and he noticed that Luhan was staring at him wide-eyed. He couldn’t understand if his expression was outraged or resentful, because his handsome face looked frozen. It was like he couldn’t fully grasp the meaning of his words. 

He lowered his eyes again. «I read it all» he whispered. «I’m sorry.»

He stayed like that, fingers fidgeting on his lap. «I just wanted to know what happened to you» he tried to explain. «It made me feel bad, seeing you like this. I mean, you did nothing wrong. It’s just...» 

He stopped and sighed. Being vague wasn’t going to work, not this time. He needed to tell the truth, Luhan deserved it. 

«I just wanted to get to know you better» he murmured. «Because I like you. Not in a romantic way... no, not like that. Just, I wanted to know you better because I think you’re nice. And because yesterday you were kind to me when I needed it.»

Sehun raised his gaze and tried to smile. «Does it even make sense?»

Luhan was still looking at him, his expression unreadable. «I’m sorr--» Sehun repeated, but was cut off by the sound of Luhan’s chair dragging on the floor. 

The boy stood and walked away from the room.

Alone, Sehun felt like crying. He messed it up pretty good.

Dinner was weird. Luhan sat next to Tao as usual, and Sehun felt terrible the whole time. At least Luhan didn’t seem too affected by his revelation, and ate his meal while listening to his friends’ chatters as usual. He wore his perpetual suave smile as if nothing happened.

Xiumin wasn’t anywhere to be seen. «I need to talk to Xiumin» he told Chen, when he approached to pour him soup. Kai helped him holding the pot while he stepped aside to talk, and Sehun couldn’t help but feel a small and shameful pang of jealousy when he noticed the fond look the boy was exchanging with Kyungsoo. He was envious of their bond. 

«Yeah, I think you should too» the assistant agreed. He looked tired, Sehun thought. «You’ll find him in his office. Don’t worry, I talked some sense into him before. There was no need to get angry at you. All he had to do was keeping that folder somewhere safer, and it was natural of you to be curious. I’m sorry for the way he snapped at you. He always turns emotional, when Luhan’s involved.»

Sehun shook his head. Why Chen was apologizing to him? «I’m okay, Chen, really... I just need to see him.»

As he was told, he found Xiumin sitting on the sofa in his office. «I bet you’ve something to tell me» he said, wasting no time.

Sehun crossed his arms, uneasy. «Yeah» he said. «I wanted to apologize for what I did this morning. I shouldn’t have read through Luhan’s papers.»

Xiumin closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. If Chen looked tired, he looked dead tired. «I wasn’t mad at you, actually» he admitted. «If I had to be honest, I would have done the same. Being the roommate of a mute guy isn’t an easy thing. I am also a little jealous. I’ve tried my best to communicate with Luhan for months, and then, you came here and suddenly seem to get along with him so well. I felt... beaten, I think. Yes, this is what I felt, when I found you sitting here with Luhan’s folder in your hands. It felt you wanted to gain more information about him because you two are already sharing a bond. This is what made me angry, Sehun... my own incapability to deal with this situation. Not what you did. And I’m sorry for yelling at you. God only knows how much you’re feeling miserable right now.» Under Sehun’s astonished eyes, the man offered to him a weak smile. «Forgive me for being a sentimental idiot, won’t you?» 

Sehun felt his own eyes swell with tears. Quietly, Xiumin approached him and enveloped him in a tight hug. The man was smaller and shorter than him, but Sehun didn’t care. All he needed was feeling loved and cared for, and his chest was so tight he couldn’t even spill a word of thank. 

«You can cry, honey» Xiumin murmured, stroking his back reassuringly, «it’s alright.»

And Sehun cried, letting out all his pain. 

\---oOo---

When he returned in the common room, he felt too exhausted to do anything. He bad the others goodnight, and went straight for his bed.  
He took his sweet time showering and brushing his teeth, since Luhan was still downstairs with the others watching some movie on TV. He didn’t have the strength to face him again, for that day, and he sincerely wished he would be sound asleep when the Chinese boy would return into their room. Talking with Xiumin made him feel better, and he didn’t want to spoil that fragile state of mind.

When he moved the covers aside to lay down, though, he found a small paper neatly folded waiting for him on his pillow. 

Heart speeding up, he picked it up and opened it, noticing that the handwriting was clean and the message was short.

_I’m sorry I put you through all this. I wish I can get to know you better too._

He lied motionless on his bed for long before Luhan entered the room, moving on his tiptoes not to disturb him. He listened to all the small noises the other made while he undressed and changed in the darkness before slipping silently under the covers, breath slowing down to a quiet pace.

Sehun finally managed to close his eyes and drift into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering who my favourite character was in this fic, well, I'm sorry, but it's Baekhyun. <3  
> Again, sorry for my many mistakes!


	3. Knowing eachother

Sehun was in awe. Luhan was straddling him, who was lying on the bed. His angel face, flushed cheeks and plush lips were the most beautiful things he ever saw. He closed his eyes, ready to receive the kiss, when Luhan grabbed his shoulder and, without any advice, began to shake it rather forcefully.

He opened his eyes up with a jump, finding Luhan trying his best to shake him awake. «Why are you doing this?» Sehun groggily protested, and the other shoved his watch in front of his face: eight and a quarter.

«Fuck!» Sehun cursed, running to the bathroom after grabbing a clean change of clothes. «I overslept!»

He brushed his teeth and showered in a flash. When he was about to dry himself out, he found out he forgot his bathrobe because of the hurry. «Fuck!» he cursed again.

The bathroom door opened the slightest bit (he even forgot to lock it) and a slender arm sneaked in, holding his blue bathrobe.

«Thank you, Luhan» he said, taking the cloth before the door slammed shut again. He could feel himself blush, while he dried out and he scrubbed his skin as if he wanted to get rid of the first layer.

Did he just had an erotic dream about his roommate? Like, did he _really_? At least, the cold shower seemed to have a good effect on him.

When he got out, fresh, clean and fully clothed, he found Luhan waiting for him. «You better go» he said, «or you’ll miss breakfast.»

The other shrugged, looking at him with a very frank and straight-forward expression, and Sehun instantly knew he couldn’t avoid talking about the message he found on his pillow the night before.

«Luhan... thank you for forgiving me» he murmured. «I mean, really. Thank you so much.»

The other made a small gesture, which meaning was perfectly clear. _It’s alright_. Sehun smiled, eliciting a smile in response. He lost track of time staring at those wonderful eyes, when Baekhyun barged in.

«What the heck are you guys doing?» he bellowed. «It’s late! The others are already fighting over the leftovers. Chen said the car’s going to leave in ten minutes.» Then, the boy looked at them both, slowly taking him Sehun’s still flushed face and the fact that Luhan was, for some reason, _sitting on Sehun’s bed_.

«Oh my God!» he screeched, ready to run in the corridor and screaming his discovery to the whole world, «Chanyeol, I’ve big fat news! These two are already...»

Sehun moved to shove a hand on his mouth or something, but luckily enough, Tao already appeared in the doorframe. Seeing the tall foreigner tower him somehow made Baekhyun a little less bold, just as the icy cold glance he was shot. «Err—I think I’ll just leave, then. Hurry, you two, okay?» And he ran away in the corridor. Judging from the noise he made, Sehun was pretty sure Baekhyun was wearing female flats.

He was about to say something, that Tao blurted out something in Chinese, sounding irritated. To his surprise, Luhan’s gentle gaze hardened, and he shook his head in response.

Tao looked astonished for a moment. Then, he looked at Sehun with eyes who could kill.

«It’s my fault, actually» Sehun began, feeling rather shy under those staring almond-shaped eyes, «I overslept and Luhan was waiting for me...»

Tao left without letting him finish, and Sehun’s voice trailed off. «Damn» he mumbled. «I didn’t make a good impression on him, did I?»

Luhan smiled a little, coming near him to tug at his sleeve, urging him towards the corridor. The others’ voices resounded in the staircase while they went to their rooms to get what they forgot to take before going to school. Baekhyun was applying nail polish with a focused frown on his face.

«I would make up things with Tao if I were in your shoes» he suggested. «He had to come here because he almost killed his godfather with his bare fists. And, honestly, I haven’t seen him this furious in a while.»

«I did nothing wrong» Sehun protested, but Baekhyun shook his head, letting a few loose hair escape from the little pink bow which was pinning his blond strands away from his face.

«He cares for Luhan» he explained, «he cares very deeply. And I wouldn’t be surprised to know he’s dead jealous of the way our little mute beauty ogles at you.»

Sehun was confused. Luhan ogling at him? When? Baekhyun was just seeing things. «Isn’t he together with Yi Fan?»

«He is, but it’s complicated. I heard from Yixing that Luhan was his childhood friend, and judging from his reaction, his first love too... don’t fucking touch my hair!»

«You watch too many dramas» Chanyeol scolded him, tugging at the smaller boy’s hair bow with his big hand. «Your dirty little mind is seeing love plots everywhere.»

«But it perfectly makes sense» Baekhyun protested. «Listen, Tao must be torn between the love for Luhan and the love for Yi Fan... and Sehun’s arrival made his old childhood friend suddenly turn into a desirable _hunk_ in front of his own eyes... oh hello Luhan! Did you manage to get some breakfast?»

The Chinese boy was watching Baekhyun with his arms crossed and such a perfect “what the fuck” look on his face that Sehun and Chanyeol immediately started laughing.

«Remember, watch out for Taolin» Baekhyun managed to whisper in Sehun’s ear before being dragged away by Chanyeol, «or he’ll go all Bruce Lee on you and he’ll break your spine!»

Sehun paled. «Bruce Lee?»

«He does martial arts» Baekhyun solemnly added. «Wushu. You better apologize quick.»

«I don’t think so.» Chanyeol  dragged the boy away and waved Sehun goodbye. «See you later!»

«Later.»

Luhan shook his head and rolled his eyes, pointing to Baekhyun with his thumb. «Have a nice day» Sehun told him, and Luhan smiled, touching his shoulder briefly before turning to follow the others.

«Luhan?» Sehun called him back.

The boy looked at him, eyes wide.

«I think you forgot your school bag.»

Bushing furiously, the other ran into their room, getting his coat and bag, before nodding to him and hurrying down the stairs. Sehun stayed put, waving hello to Kai and Kyungsoo, Joonmyeon and Yixing. Tao and Yi Fan walked past him without even looking, hand in hand, as tall and lean as two models on the catwalk. He listened, while Chen urged the boys into the van he used to drive them to school and Xiumin bad them goodbye.

Alone, he finally dared to get downstairs. Xiumin was still in the common room, cleaning the breakfast table. «I was beginning to wonder if you were sick or something» he told him. «I kept some rice and soup for you.»

Sehun smiled, letting the man put two bowls in front of him. He began to eat, Xiumin’s food was especially tasty, and the assistant ruffled his hair, pleased to see he was enjoying his cooking, before leaving to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

When he finished, Sehun joined him. «Let me help» he said, and the other gladly pointed at an apron and a kitchen towel hanging from the wall.

«I always wash everything by hand» he explained, seeing that Sehun was eyeing the stash of dirty cups and bowls, «we’re trying to cut down expenses.»

«Are you having financial trouble?»

Xiumin scratched the back of his head. «Nothing important. We’re just trying not to waste any money. You guys are more important than having a well-fed bank account.»

Sehun smiled a little ashamedly, and Xiumin splashed soapy water on him. «Stoop brooding and be of some help, boy.»

He washed the items while Sehun dried them off, putting them neatly in an old, traditional-looking cupboard. «When will I go to school?»

«You can begin tomorrow, if you’re okay with it. I asked them to put you in Baekhyun’s class, just to make sure you won’t be all by yourself.»

«Good» Sehun replied, feeling actually relieved, «I’m glad to hear that.»

They silently tended to their tasks, the only sounds those of the water splashing and the scrubbing of Xiumin’s sponge.  Sehun noticed that the man’s hands were red and slightly chapped around the nails.

«Xiumin, you said we’re a family, right?» The other nodded, checking the bottom of a big pot to make sure the dirt already disappeared. «Then, you won’t mind if I ask another thing or two about my... brothers?»

Xiumin turned to look at him. «What do you want to know?»

«Tao» Sehun replied, biting on his lip. «I had a small unpleasant exchange with him before, and while I talked with pretty much everyone else in the house, he’s the only one I can’t seem to get along with.»

«Why doesn’t this surprise me?» Xiumin sighed. «Everyone had trouble with him at first. Things began to soften up only when he grew closer with Yi Fan. This made him look less frightening to the others, I guess.»

«Baekhyun told me he almost killed his own godfather.»

«I’m afraid he’s right. Chances are our Baekhyun doesn’t know the whole story... that Tao’s godfather was an abusive jerk who beat him up senseless. When he came here, he had a few cracked ribs and his face was swollen because of a bruised cheekbone.»

«God» Sehun immediately regretted asking. «I’m sorry.»

Xiumin hunched his own shoulders. «It took long time for Tao, to learn how to cope with the violent side of himself. Thankfully, Yi Fan taught him the importance of tenderness and commitment, if you understand what I mean. His vertical improvement was what convinced me to ask him to keep company to  Luhan when he came here. I had the feeling this could help that poor boy and himself too.»

«Talking about Luhan» Sehun interrupted him, «he wrote a message to me, yesterday.»

Xiumin almost dropped the cup he was rinsing. «He did what?!»

«You heard it.»

«Please» the psychologist almost implored, «please, don’t waste this occasion. Try to communicate with him some more.»

«How?» Sehun was frustrated. «This morning, things were the same as usual. He would barely look at me.»

«Keep trying. Looks like you somehow struck him. Nobody managed to, before.»

Sehun swallowed. Was he brave enough to tell the man about his real feelings? «I don’t know» he murmured. «I don’t want to force him. There must be a reason, if he kept silent for all this time.»

Xiumin shook his head. «You read the record» he said. «I’ve tried everything, really, but he won’t react to my stimuli. In a couple days, you obtained better results than what I did in three months.»

Sehun felt guilty. «I’m so sorry, Xiumin.»

«This is not about me» the man reminded him, smiling, «but about _him_. Then please, keep trying. I’m asking it as a personal favour.»

«Okay. Okay, I’ll try.»

When they finished doing the dishes, Sehun helped mopping the common room and the dorm’s floors, cleaning the corridors and, last but not least, he cleaned the bathrooms along with the assistant. Some rooms were tidy and neat, like Kyungsoo and Kai’s one, others were terribly messy, like Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s, with clothing items, shoes and jars of cosmetics scattered on every surface available. In Tao and Yi Fan’s room, he helped Xiumin piling up a ton of mangas and DVDs, all about martial arts and kung-fu fighting, on a small shelf. «Geez, these boys are so untidy» the assistant complained. «When will they learn to look after their stuff?»

«How old is Yi Fan?» Sehun asked, leaning on the broom he was holding and stretching out his back. «He looks older than us.»

«He is» Xiumin confirmed. «In a few days, he’s turning legal. Then, he’ll have to get out of here and go into the world, since the government can’t provide for him anymore. He’ll have to find a job, rent a flat... Chen and me are saving to help him. I think it’s better if he stays in Korea, at least for the first few months, so that we can help him if he needs something... also, I have a feeling he wouldn’t like staying away from Tao.»

Sehun looked at the short man, cheeks puffing up while he knelt down to fish for a lonesome sock forgotten under the bed, and he felt bad for him. Xiumin loved each of his ten “children”. It would be hard, for him, letting go of them.

«I guess it’s how things go» Sehun murmured.

«I guess too.»

Sehun pretended not to notice, when Xiumin hurriedly wiped a silent tear which streamed down his face. He was starting to like him more and more.

\---oOo---

«No, no, no» Baekhyun cooed, for the umpteenth time. «Making a good impression on your first day in a new school is important, you know. This won’t work. Try again.»

Sehun frowned. «What did I do wrong, this time?»

«You kept staring at the floor and muttering» the other explained, matter-of-factly. «And you should try to hide your lisp. Just making a suggestion.»

«You’re right.» Sehun straightened his back, loosening up his new uniform’s tie around his neck. «Hello, nice you meet you all, my name is Oh Sehun. Is it alright?»

«Mmm. Try again. Don’t act too sure of yourself.»

«Baekhyun, it’s not a test, it’s just a frigging self-introduction.»

«Exactly. Just one wrong word, and the whole class will tease you until summer vacation.»

Sehun tried again. He had been rehearsing his introduction with Baekhyun for a good half an hour, with Luhan watching them amusedly, and now he felt more and more self-conscious than ever. He looked in the mirror hanging from the wall, clearing his throat and preparing to repeat his mantra. The school uniform, dark grey tartan trousers with a white shirt and burgundy tie, was surprisingly nice and suited him well, complimenting his long legs, broad shoulders and narrow waist. He was worried about his lisp, though, since he knew it could show even more when he was stressed out.

«How are our classmates, Baekhyun? Are they nice?»

The other shrugged. «Some of them are, some of them are not. How are you going to style your hair?»

«Uh? Just like usual, I guess.»

«Oh my God, I really have to teach you everything!»

In that moment, Sehun’s phone, which had kept silent for almost three days full, began to rang.

«It’s from my mom!» Sehun marvelled, after checking the display. A video call, to be precise.

«What are you waiting for? Don’t make her wait!» Baekhyun urged him, making room for him to sit on his bed.

Sehun pressed the green button. «Hello, mom.»

«Hello, darling» his mother replied, beaming at him.

«Mom! You look awesome!» Sehun smiled back. His mother, a woman on her forties, was still tall and slender, and when stress and fatigue weren’t showing, she was happy and lively. On that particular day, he had to admit she really looked stunning. «Did you get your hair done, mom?»

«Lemme see!» Baekhyun barged in, almost shoving him aside. «Hello Sehun’s mom, I’m Baekhyun! Nice to meet you!»

«Hello» the woman politely greeted, a little taken aback by the boy’s delicate and very femininely make-upped face.

Sehun playfully shoved him away. «What’s up, mom? Are you alright?»

«Yes, honey, I’m doing well. I’m staying at your aunt’s place. I took a couple days off from work and I took a little care of myself. I might grow accustomed to this.»

Sehun smiled. He was happy to see his mom seemed to be fine. «Glad to hear that. How’s dad?»

The woman’s smile faltered a bit. «Honestly I have no idea, honey. I’ve been a little busy... and I don’t think I’m ready to hear his voice yet. I think I’ll wait a little more, just like the doctors at the rehab centre told us.»

«Oh. Okay.»

His mother sensed the sadness seeping through his voice. «Don’t be like this, honey. I’m trying to do my best.»

«I’m doing my best too» he murmured, «but it’s difficult.»

Baekhyun made a sympathetic face, while leaning his head on his shoulder. «At least you have new friends who care for you» his mother added, trying to sound encouraging, «this comforts me. I was worried about your grumpy demeanour, when you were sent to that house...»

«I’m not grumpy!» Sehun protested, while Baekhyun started giggling. A little shyly, Luhan sat on his bed too. «And this is Luhan, my roommate.» His mother made a broad smile.

«What an handsome boy! Please take care of my Sehun.»

Luhan nodded, looking embarrassed but also pleased, before disappearing from the screen and getting back to the safety of his desk.

«I hope you know that I love you, honey» Sehun’s mom added, «and that I’m praying every night that things will get better for us.»

«I know it, mom» Sehun confirmed, feeling a knot form in his throat. «I’m so happy you called.» _I was beginning to think you were so happy they separated us from you that you forgot about me_.

«Goodnight, honey» the woman greeted him, «and good luck for your first day of school.»

He bad her goodnight and moved the phone so that the others could wave at her too, then he ended the call.

«Wow» Baekhyun said, «your mother is so pretty. No wonder you look like a supermodel or something.»

Sehun immediately felt grateful for having two other people in the room with him, or he probably would have not been able to swallow down the painful lump that formed in his throat.

«I guess so. Can we resume our training?»

Baekhyun stayed with him until he started yawning, and Sehun decided to send him back to his room. He let Luhan use the bathroom first, then he got washed and changed too.

When he stepped back in the room, Luhan came close and lightly touched his elbow. The silent question in his black eyes was pretty easy to guess.

«I think the phone call shook me a little» Sehun admitted, touching the boy’s fingers, «but yes, I’m overall fine. Or at least I hope so.»

Luhan lowered his gaze, focusing on their fingertips, which were still in contact. Slowly, they both retreated their hands. Sehun thought it was time to follow Xiumin’s advice. «Are you still of the same advice of yesterday?»

Luhan glanced at him curiously. «About getting to know me better» Sehun explained.

The Chinese boy nodded slightly, actually looking unsure, and probably even a little shy. Did he regret writing that message? Sehun hoped he didn’t.

«My name is Oh Sehun» he began. «I’m from Seoul. My family consists in my mother and father, no siblings. I’m good at sports but terrible at school. I like comics, especially Japanese mangas. I like, no, I love coffee, Starbucks’ style. I like Western food, but also Korean food. Every kind of food, I guess. Also, I like music, especially rock and alternative.» He looked at Luhan, and found out that he was actually listening attentively. He took a deep breath. «Your turn, now.»

Luhan stared at him, troubled. «Don’t worry» Sehun reassured him, «I’ll do the talking.»

The other visibly relaxed, even coming to sit on Sehun’s bed. Sehun propped himself on an elbow, embracing his pillow to put it under his cheek, and Luhan mimicked him, lying down facing him from a little distance. «I hear you are from Beijing.»

Luhan nodded. 

«And that you’re good at school.»

Another nod.

«Brighter than me, also.»

Nod and a small amused face.

«Aw. I’m offended.»

A silent laugh. Sehun couldn’t believe how actually wanted to find if he and Luhan had something in common. Also, he was a little startled by his own boldness. He felt quite confident, also a little excited, even if it was late and they should have probably begun to get ready for bed. Could this be defined flirting? He had no idea, but something about the whole thing made him feel oddly good. And Luhan’s face, lying on his comforter in full view, was beginning to make him feel pleasantly confused.

«Do you like sports?»

Nod.

«Shall I guess? Soccer.»

Luhan looked surprised, and Sehun smiled. «Your schoolbag’s strap» he explained. «It’s a little soccer ball.»

It was almost as if he could read in the other’s mind. _You little Sherlock Holmes_.

«Do you like reading comics?»

No. This time, Luhan shook his head with a mischievous smile.

_Is he flirting with me too?_ Sehun was afraid he was just seeing things. «I guess you prefer books.»

Luhan sat up with a swift movement, and he fished for something on his bed table. «Oh my God» Sehun commented, when he looked at the book he was showing to him, «I can’t even read the title. I think you’ll have to help me with my Mandarin homework.»

Luhan was smiling broadly. Sehun wished he would never stop, because it made his eyes shine. «I... I think...»

He had to stop and pretend to clear his throat, because he suddenly felt very shy. «I’m good at soccer» he tried to switch topic, «I saw that this place has a court. Maybe we could play, if you have a ball.»

No good, he thought. His cheeks felt burning, and it was probably showing. His previous confidence crumbled down in a million pieces, while he struggled with finding something interesting to say. Something that would not make him look like a blubbering idiot.

Suddenly, Luhan brought his fingers to his lips and touched it slightly, looking at him with questioning eyes. «What?» Sehun asked, confused by the gesture. «What do you mean?»

Luhan repeated the gesture with more emphasis, and Sehun got it. «Oh, my lisp» he murmured. «Well, I’ve had it since I was little. I had a lot of training with a speech therapist and I managed to reduce it sensibly, but when I’m emotional it still shows. Makes me sound stupid, doesn’t it?»

Honestly, he hated his lisp. It made him feel terribly self-conscious, and he dreaded the giggles and the half-hidden smiles of those who find it amusing.

Without any hesitation, Luhan lifted one hand and touched the corner of Sehun’s mouth, as delicate as a butterfly. When Sehun looked at him, he shook his head slowly, his expression gentle.

That made Sehun’s heart swell, and then, with a pleasant shiver, he realized the truth.

He wasn’t just seeing things. Luhan was flirting too.


	4. School

Sehun glanced around, stiff as a stick. The classroom was full of kids, male and female. He tried to concentrate on the teacher explaining some Chinese poetry he never heard before, but he just couldn’t refrain from eyeing suspiciously his new classmates. Luckily enough, his desk was next to Baekhyun’s one.

A cute girl with long bangs was staring at him, checking him out, and Sehun immediately averted his gaze when he accidentally met her eyes. The classroom didn’t really react, when he muttered the self-introduction he practised with Baekhyun the night before, but he _felt_ their malevolence, when he entered and bowed. He had the sinister feeling, though, that it all depended from the fact that he walked in along with Baekhyun. He pretended not to notice, but nobody greeted him, when he came and settled at his desk.

«So, your name’s Sehun» a girl told him, when the bell rang and the teacher left. Her black hair was accurately styled, as well as her manicured nails and porcelain complexion. She was rather cute, but Sehun immediately thought that something was off with her attitude. She was too bold, almost teasing. And he didn’t like it.

«Yes» he replied, nervous.

«Nice to meet you. I’m Minrim. I’m sorry if it’s a little out of the blue... but the other girls and me were wondering if you were gay.»

Sehun froze. «What?»

Minrim looked a little less sure of herself. «You’re not, then. Weird... my gay radar is usually pretty good.»

Sehun knew his own gaze turned as hard as steel. «May I ask the reason why you felt the need to ask?»

Minrim giggled in a way she probably found cute. «Well, you came along with the fag... I mean, with Baekhyun, and you two looked friendly with each other... we thought you were a couple.»

 _Oh my God_. Sehun couldn’t believe his ears. «What did you call him?»

The girl made her eyelashes flutter. «Oh, come on. It’s not like you don’t know. I mean... look at him.»

Sehun turned and noticed, horrified, that Baekhyun was still sitting at his desk. And that he probably heard everything, judging from the purple colour of his cheeks. «I don’t think it’s very polite of you, addressing to him like this» he blurted out, maybe a little too harshly. The girl looked at him, troubled by his reaction.

«Oh... er, I have Science class now. I’ll see you later.» And she ran away with a bunch of other slender, giggling and shiny creatures. Sehun couldn’t find anything attractive about them.

He leaned in to talk to Baekhyun. «I’m sorry. Is she always so nasty to you?»

The boy forced himself to smile. «Only when she’s with her horrible friends» he replied, fumbling with his pencil case. «When she’s with them, she turns into a vixen. I bet she’s already in love with you, poor girl.»

«Baekhyun» Sehun sighed. «You shouldn’t let her talk to you in such terms.»

«Well, Sehun, I’m not exactly popular, here.»

Sehun looked at him. That morning, Baekhyun wore the school uniform, along with pink eye shadow, blush on his cheeks and a pearl earring. He even modified the tartan trousers, hemming them to let his pink ballet flats show. He looked cute, in an unique and funny way, but probably those insensitive people couldn’t see it.

«Are you close with anyone, in here?»

«No» Baekhyun replied, ashamed. «I always sneak in Chanyeol’s classroom, during the break. Actually, I’m glad you’re here. It feels less lonely.»

Sehun reached out and ruffled his hair. «Don’t touch my hair!» Baekhyun immediately yelled, making him laugh. He chuckled too, and Sehun felt a little better. 

He knew there was a precise word for that, _bullying_. And he knew it would not be easy for him too.

«What’s next class?»

«Maths.»

«Oh my God. Are you good at it?»

Baekhyun shook his head. «No.»

«Shall we ask Minrim and her horrible friends?»

«No way!»

Sehun suddenly had a good idea. «Then we shall ask Luhan tonight.»

Baekhyun giggled. «I think you’re a genius, my friend.»

\---oOo---

Luhan was a good teacher indeed. He helped out Sehun and Baekhyun with their Maths homework showing them how it had to be done, replying to their questions writing the solutions on paper.

«Thank you for your help» Sehun told him, when Baekhyun left to get into his room. «I am a terrible student. I think I’ll leave school as soon as I can.»

Luhan shot him a questioning glance. «I don’t know» Sehun said, scratching his head. «I’d like to try working, I think. Something easy, which could let me have contact with people. A shop assistant job, maybe... or a barista.»

Luhan’s gaze turned a little judging. «What about you, smartass?» Sehun inquired. «Are you going to university, after high school?»

The boy’s black eyes focused somewhere else away from Sehun’s face. «What is it? Did I say something wrong?»

Luhan shook his head, frustrated. He was trying to explain something to him, but he looked unsure. In moments like those, Sehun wished the other could talk freely. He was aware of the feeling which kept growing inside of him. In just a few days, he got attached to Luhan, and he came to anticipate those little shared moments, like the few hours before bed, or early in the morning. When Luhan and him were alone, he felt there was a bond between themselves.

Was it enough to ask him something very personal? He didn’t know.

«Luhan? May I ask you something?»

The  Chinese boy looked at him, black eyes trustful. Sehun swallowed, suddenly very worried. _I hope I’m not about to ruin everything_.

«Luhan, what is exactly that prevents you from talking?»

For a second, Luhan’s face twisted in a terrified mask, and Sehun felt his heart sink. «I’m sorry, I know it’s an abrupt question. I just wanted...» he struggled, looking for the right words to say. «Xiumin said there’s nothing physically wrong with you. What is it, Luhan? Is there a way for me to help?»

The other frantically shook his head no. Tears were beginning to gather into his eyes, and Sehun grabbed his elbow. «I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.»

What he didn’t expect was Luhan’s reaction. He didn’t push him away, but he pressed a fist on the front of his own shirt, right above his heart.

Sehun felt dying inside. The gesture’s meaning was perfectly understandable.

 _The problem is not you. It is me_.

«Luhan» Sehun murmured, deeply touched, «I’m so sorry.»

He gently stroked the boy’s elbow, trying to ease his sadness. Luhan closed his eyes and sighed. _There’s nothing which can be done_.

That night at dinner, though, Luhan unexpectedly came to sit next to him. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo looked at him curiously, but didn’t ask anything. Sehun, though, could feel Tao’s death glares piercing through his back.

«I got a text from my dad, earlier» he informed the others, while wolfing down a cup of noodles. «He said he’s doing fine at the rehab centre, even if it’s a little boring. Apparently the doctors don’t let him do anything besides resting, strolling around and watching TV.»

«Are you relieved?» Baekhyun asked. «You were worried about him.»

«Yes, I am.» Sehun curtly replied. He still thought it was a little weird, that his mother still had not tried to call his dad. It felt like she was drifting away from them, little by little. He couldn’t understand it. What was so nice about being away from her husband and only son? Though, he couldn’t forget the lively expression she wore when she talked to him on the phone. _Mom, were you unhappy with us? Did you dislike us so much?_

He spent the rest of the night with the other boys, watching a popular drama airing on TV. Luhan sat next to him on the big couch, his warm thigh lightly touching his. «Do you like this stuff?» Sehun asked, whispering. «I think it’s boring and terribly predictable.»

Luhan looked at him and stole a few popcorns from the bag he was holding, shoving them into his mouth. Things were still a little rusty between them, and Sehun regretted confronting him about his muteness. He felt like he ruined everything, just like he feared. The mere thought made him feel depressed, along with the gloomy thoughts which gravitated around his family.

«I think I’ll be heading to bed» Kyungsoo suddenly announced, yawning and stretching theatrically.

«Yes, me too. I’m tired» Kai added, following him. It was just an act, Sehun was sure of it. In the darkness, before, he was sure he saw the half-Japanese boy rubbing the inside of Kyungsoo’s thigh with his fingers in a gentle but definitely sexual way. It was just an excuse to take to their room to screw like rabbits.

He sighed, angry to himself. Since when did he become so bitter? It wasn’t his business. Those two were free to do what they wanted.

When the movie ended, Chen switched the lights on, revealing Tao straddling Yi Fan’s lap with a very flustered face and the same expression of a startled rabbit. This elicited a general laughter from everyone, which helped Sehun feel a little better.

«Well, goodnight then» he bad Luhan, when they found themselves in their room, already ready for bed. He was about to sneak under the covers, when the other suddenly took his wrist.

Sehun turned to face him. It was a very bold move of Luhan.

«Yes?» he murmured, blood rushing to his cheeks. The gesture felt oddly intimate.

Luhan  looked at him with his big, pleading eyes. For a long moment, they both stared at each other without talking.

Sehun sighed. «Luhan, if it’s about what I told you previously, I’m sorry. I won’t ask you again, I swear. I should have known it was a delicate matter...»

Luhan shook his head almost imperceptibly. He wrapped Sehun’s hand into his long, delicate fingers and stroked it gently.

Sehun froze. He didn’t understand what was happening, but a very distinct _crave_ crept deep inside his belly. Still, he didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, after the unpleasant exchange they shared before. Would Luhan be alright with what he wanted to do?

«Luhan?» he croaked, barely recognizing his voice. «Can I hug you?»

Slowly, eyes never leaving Sehun’s, Luhan made his thin arms slide around his neck. Their bodies pressed close, and Sehun could feel the other’s warmth and hurried heartbeat. He had to focus on breathing, because he felt the air escaping from his lungs. He never got this close to anyone.

«I bet it’s a yes» he shakily replied, and Luhan’s mouth’s corner twitched. Delicately, trying not to pull at him too tightly, Sehun wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist. He could feel the smooth texture of his skin from under the tee he was wearing. What would have felt like touching that bare skin?

Head spinning, he made the huge mistake to look straight into Luhan’s eyes.

 _Oh my God. He’s so handsome_.

Why would a grown boy wish to hug a friend this tightly, staring at him with such a loving gaze? Were his feelings the same as Luhan’s? He had no idea, but he had to know, or he would get crazy.

«Luhan» he murmured, voice barely audible, «can I touch you?»

The other nodded. He was trembling slightly, Sehun noticed. He was scared too.

Slowly, hesitatingly, he brought his fingers to Luhan’s cheek, stroking it lightly. His skin was like that of a girl, he thought, incredibly soft and smooth. His breath smelled sweet like the Coke he had been drinking while watching the movie.

«Luhan» he whispered, «please, listen to what I’m about to say.»

The boy’s long eyelashes fluttered, his cheeks turning a delicious shade of pink. Now that he had his full attention, Sehun found very difficult to voice out his thoughts.

«It began on the very first day I came here. As soon as I saw you, I’ve been feeling deeply attracted to you. I don’t know what it is—yet. Really, I don’t know. But I want you to be aware of the fact that, if I made you uneasy, it wasn’t to harm you, in any way.» He had to pause, because he had to gulp down a painful lump which gathered on his throat. «Are... are perhaps your feelings the same as mine?»

Luhan nodded the slightest bit, their gazes still locked. Sehun gathered the courage to talk further. He needed to be sure.

«I’m scared, Luhan. I’ve never been this close to a boy before.» He swallowed hard. «So... do you feel attracted to me too?»  

Luhan’s eyes were catching all the light in the room, dark and deep. Slowly, he took one of Sehun’s hands again, placing it directly on his ribcage. This time, the Korean boy almost flinched. He could distinctively feel the thundering of the other’s heartbeat under his digits.

He leaned in just a bit, bringing the tips of their noses almost together. He wanted to ask politely, but suddenly, words weren’t enough to describe the need coiling in his gut.

He wanted to kiss Luhan. But he didn’t want just to touch his lips, he also wanted to be kissed himself, if that made any sense. He wanted to be held and hugged and caressed gently, so much he actually couldn’t believe the strength of his own desire. Like that time in the locker room, his body was _responding_.

«I-I’m going to kiss you» he stuttered, before closing the remaining distance between them.

He lightly brushed the boy’s lips with his own, marvelling at the feeling of the warm breath on his face, but he quickly found out that it wasn’t enough. He gently took  Luhan’s upper lip between his own, holding it before releasing it with a faint, wet and _oh so exciting_ sound. Unexpectedly enough, Luhan’s grip tightened around his neck, pulling him closer with his free arm, crashing their mouths together so that their teeth collided.

«Ow» he moaned into the other’s mouth, but Luhan was kissing him back, nipping at his lower lip, squeezing his hand above his heart so hard his touch was almost bruising. Sehun moved it along the boy’s neck, feeling his pulse and his bobbing Adam’s apple, stopping to cup his cheek with his fingers.

Luhan sighed, parting from him just to stare at him for a moment before resuming the kiss.

The sensation was maddening. Sehun couldn’t believe he was holding that beautiful boy in his arms, making out with him in a way he only dreamed of before. And Luhan was sharing the same need, the same hunger to be loved that seemed to be wrecking him.

Eventually, the hurried pace of their kissing slowed down, as well as their excitement. He held him into his arms, not wanting to let go, until very late.

«I think I like you, Luhan» he murmured, placing gentle kisses all over his face, «I think I like you a lot.» He saw him smile, and it made his heart swell.

It felt natural, to slide together under the covers in Sehun’s bed. Their bodies seemed to be designed to fit, while Luhan scooped near to rest his head on Sehun’s chest. He continued to pepper gentle kisses all over Luhan’s forehead until the boy fell asleep.

Closing his eyes, Sehun forgot everything: the school bullies, the scary thought of Tao watching over him, the worrisome thoughts about his family slowly falling apart.

For maybe the first time since he came, he savoured a serene night of sleep.

\---oOo---

The accident came unexpected.

Sehun was with Baekhyun, walking down a staircase to get into the gym for P.E. class, and was distractedly listening to the other’s chatters. Actually, he was thinking about the tender kiss with whom Luhan woke him up that morning. Seeing him propped on an elbow, staring at him in between his sheets and pillows made Sehun’s heart flutter. It was sexy, but also innocent, since they washed separately, locking the bathroom door as usual, and barely looked at each other during breakfast. Their knees touched for all the time while they ate, though, and Sehun kept swallowing as if his throat wasn’t functioning properly. He guessed nobody realized, though, since neither the always malicious Baekhyun asked anything about his weird behaviour.

He was anticipating lunchtime, when he could see Luhan again. He missed him.

«You see, Chanyeol was all sulky this morning because Xiumin refused to let him attend a certain afternoon club, I don’t even know about what. Guitar, I guess. As if he needs music lessons, he already plays well. Still, he was so angry he almost threw his bowl at Xiumin.»

«I’ve never heard him playing» Sehun blandly replied, mind elsewhere.

«Oh, you should» Baekhyun enthusiastically said, «he even composes his own songs. And has a good voice too. Sometimes... AH!»

Sehun didn’t see him falling. He heard his scream, but he was too slow tilting his head. When he focused, Baekhyun was already on the floor, the contents of his bag scattered all around.

A few boys and girls passed by, laughing. «What’s wrong, faggot?  Can’t even walk properly?»

«Baekhyun!» Sehun knelt by his side, helping him up. «Are you hurt?»

The other shook his head no, but his pained expression talked clearly. When he tried standing, Sehun noticed that he was limping.

«I think I sprained my ankle or something» Baekhyun murmured, cheeks burning. «I’m so clumsy.»

«You’re not clumsy» Sehun almost growled. «You were _pushed_.»

One of the boys who walked past them turned to face him. «A pretty unkind thing to say, bro. I think you should apologize.»

«To you?» Sehun blurted out, furious. «Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?»

The boy shrugged. «Mad your boyfriend here fell on his ass like an idiot?»

Sehun saw red. He grabbed the front of the boy’s shirt, pulling him close. «Apologize.»

The other laughed. «I don’t think so.»

«Fucking apologize!»

«Sehun, it’s okay, please let him go» Baekhyun implored, scared. A lot of people were gathering around, watching the fight. Some of them were even filming it with their phones, and the mere sight of it made Sehun see red.

«You’re just a bunch of cowards» Sehun sputtered, furious, before the boy he was holding punched him hard on his nose. He lost his grip on him, but he didn’t back off and punched him back. The pained sound the other cried out made him feel powerful.

«Sehun, please, stop» Baekhyun repeated, trembling. «Teachers are going to get mad at us...»

«What’s happening here?» a stern voice yelled. Sehun watched, as Tao stepped among the crowd, which separated in two neat parts to let him pass. He never heard him speak in Korean before, and he thought his accent was a little weird. Still, he was grateful to see him, even in a moment like that.

Tao looked at Baekhyun, who was leaning on the wall. «Are you okay?»

The boy slowly nodded. Then, Tao moved his gaze to Sehun. «And you, are you okay?»

«Yes» Sehun replied.

«Good» Tao commented. Then, with a movement so quick Sehun’s eyes could barely follow it, he grabbed Baekhyun’s attacker by his throat, lifting him up with a single arm.

«Tao!» Baekhyun sobbed, terrified. «No, Tao, please!»

Sehun ran to his friend’s side, ready to help him. The crowd which gathered around them, though, seemed frozen by the tall Chinese’s intromission.

«Listen to me carefully» Tao slowly articulated, while his victim gagged and spluttered, «now you’re going to apologize to my friends, and then you’ll get the fuck out of here and you’ll never show your little pathetic face in front of them. Did you hear me? I’ll give you the count of three.» The boy cried out, falling on the floor when Tao suddenly let him go. Sehun had to admit it was a frightening sight indeed. The other students seemed to fear Tao’s violence, as if it was well-known among them.

«One.»

«B-Baekhyun, I’m sorry. I won’t insult you anymore, I swear. Sehun, I’m sorry.»

Tao kicked him, sending him flying almost a meter away. Baekhyun hid his face against Sehun’s shoulder and whimpered.

«You can do better» he said. «Two.»

«Please!» the boy knelt on the floor, bowing down until his forehead touched the floor. «Please, forgive me! I swear, I won’t touch you again! I swear!»

He was crying. Sehun felt vaguely nauseous, but he kept holding Baekhyun. He could taste blood on his own tongue, and a hidden part of him enjoyed watching that pitiful guy beg.

«One» Tao counted, and the boy was quick to run away, along with a big group of students. The Chinese watched him disappear with a disgusted grimace on his face, muttering something in his native language.

He looked at Sehun, barely quirking an eyebrow. «Xiumin and Chen won’t be happy to hear about this.»

 

TBC


	5. Love and lovers

«It’s intolerable!» Xiumin yelled. «I can’t believe kids can be so cruel nowadays! I’m going to talk to the principal. We’re going to teach those students a memorable lesson!»

«Calm down» Chen told him, «you won’t do anything reckless. It will just make things worse.»

The psychologist bit on his lip, frustrated. He bent down to check on Baekhyun, who was all curled up on the sofa. «Are you okay? Shall I bring you something to drink?»

«I’m fine» the boy muttered. His right ankle was wrapped in a voluminous bandage, and the tiny toes, painted in a refined shade of lilac, were in full view.

«Are you sure? Maybe you need an aspirin. I’m going to...»

«Minseok» Chen called him, «he said it’s okay. Stop fussing, or you’ll make him feel worse.»

Sehun averted his gaze, because the sudden pain surfacing in Xiumin’s eyes made him feel bad. He always hated it, when the assistant wore that look. It was like he blamed himself for what happened to the boys he was supposed to protect, and Sehun thought it wasn’t right.

«Please, guys» Baekhyun tiredly repeated, for the umpteenth time, «I’m alright. Don’t fight.»

Chen patted gently on his shoulder. «More importantly» he said, «I’d like to hear from you guys. What on Earth got on your minds? Beating up people is always a despicable idea.»

Sehun didn’t reply. He was holding an ice pack to his face, to ease the purple bruise adorning the bridge of his nose and cheek. Nothing seemed to be broken, but it hurt like hell. Tao kept silent as well, leaning on the wall as if he heard nothing.

«Tao» Chen repeated, this time rather angrily, «I’m talking to you. It was nice of you, wanting to help your friends, but it would have been better if you just called a teacher.»

Tao smirked. «Yeah, sure.»

«Yes, sure» Chen retorted. «You really can’t stay away from trouble, right?»

«Actually it’s my fault» Sehun barged in. «I was the one who started the fight.»

Chen massaged his brow as if his head hurt. «The student you hit reported you all to the teachers» he said, «and his family is going to blame us for it. In case you forgot, you guys are under our protection.»

Sehun felt a tug at his gut. «And then...?»

«Since many witnessed him pushing Baekhyun, and since he didn’t report any serious injury, I think we’ll get away with just a reprimand. But since Tao isn’t new to this kind of episodes...» he hunched his shoulders, distressed. «There’s a risk he could be put in another foster home.»

Tao blinked. Apparently, he never thought of the consequences of his act, and he found it worrisome.

«Now do you understand, Tao?» Chen added, his gaze softening a little. «We don’t want to lose you. This is why you can’t go around doing stupid things like this.»

Tao nodded. «Can I go, now?»

«You can go. But I want you to apologize to that guy, when he’ll return at school.»

The Chinese boy grunted something, while he left. Sehun watched, thinking that he really needed to talk to him, later.

«And now you, Sehun.» Chen crossed his arms. «What happened? You looked the calm and reasonable kind. Why the need to act this foolishly?»

The boy grimaced, while Xiumin took the ice pack away from his face to check on his bruise. It was a dark shade of purple, but it didn’t look that bad anymore. The bleeding stopped too. «Honestly, I don’t know» he replied, sheepish. «I’m sorry I hurt that guy, but I’m sure you can understand, if I say I won’t apologize to him. Not even if you ask me to. And I’ll sympathise with Tao, if he’ll refuse to do it as well.»

Chen looked at him, narrowing his eyes. «May I ask why?»

«I can’t repeat the horrible things he told Baekhyun» Sehun explained, calm, «and the way he viciously pushed him. That guy took pleasure in hurting him, this is why I got so angry.»

Xiumin took his hand and squeezed it tight. Chen didn’t seem happy with his reply, but he didn’t comment on it.

«Baekhyun? I need to hear from you too. When did the bullying start, exactly?»

«Jongdae» Xiumin said, noticing how pale the boy turned at the question. «We can talk about it later.»

«Baekhyun?» the other insisted. He was angry, and Sehun couldn’t stand his gaze. He was disappointed by their behaviour, and he hated it.

«I don’t know exactly» Baekhyun murmured. «Since forever, it seems. Since the first day of school, probably.»

«God in Heavens» Xiumin interrupted, caressing the boy’s hair, «why didn’t you tell anything? We could have helped you in some way...»

Baekhyun squeezed his eyes shut. «I wanted to tell» he revealed, «especially to you, but I knew you guys would just get worried about me, and I thought you already had your everyday’s problems to deal with. Also, I don’t know if you can understand it... I began to think it was just my imagination. Sometimes my classmates would get really cruel, sometimes they would do nothing but ignore me, sometimes, especially taken one by one, they would be even _agreeable_. I don’t know, Xiumin... I think something must be really wrong with me, for getting on people’s nerves like this.»

«Oh no, honey» the man comforted him, wrapping him in a gentle hug, «don’t be like this. Nothing’s wrong with you.»

But Baekhyun was already crying, and Sehun felt touched by his words too. According to Xiumin, Baekhyun had been alone for his whole life, mistreated and refused by the ones who were supposed to take care of him. He felt bad, for not having been able to see the pain he hid under his makeup and fancy clothing.

«Come on, we’re going to fix everything. Don’t cry.»

«It’s this» Baekhyun wailed, pushing a hand on his face as if he wanted to delete all the foundation, blush and eyeliner. «It’s this. This is what makes people angry... I hate it! I hate myself. Why do I have to be like this?»

«Don’t honey, don’t» Xiumin repeated, holding him tight, resting his cheek on the sobbing boy’s head, «don’t let those stupid people make you think bad about yourself. We all think you’re perfect as you are, and we love you senseless.»

He shot a pleading glance to his husband, who sighed and put a hand on top of Baekhyun’s hair, stroking it gently. «Xiumin is right, Baekhyun» he murmured. «Don’t cry. We’ll fix it together, as we always do.» He knelt down, smiling at the crying boy. «And I love you too, just in case you were wondering.»

Sehun watched the three of them hugging together. They looked like family, he thought.

 _Family_.

«May I go upstairs?» he asked.

Xiumin nodded to him, still busy comforting Baekhyun. «We’ll see you later at dinner. Do your homework.»

When Sehun closed the door behind his back, he found Tao waiting for him in the common room. «Are you okay?» he asked, with his weird accent.

Sehun nodded, rather unconvincingly, and the other narrowed his eyes at him. «You look like shit.»

«Thank you very much.»

The other stared at him for a moment, blinking. «I’m sorry.»

Sehun sighed. «What did you mean exactly, then?»

Tao shrugged, looking elsewhere with a scowl. He wasn’t familiar with Korean, Sehun reminded to himself. Talking to anyone there was probably very difficult, for him. «I think I started on the wrong foot with you» Tao said, after a long pause.

«It’s alright. Thank you for helping us, before. You saved us.»

Tao shook his head. «This is not what I mean.»

Sehun kept silent, while the other struggled with his mixed feelings and the foreign language. «Actually...» he scratched the back of his nape, playing idly with the button of his jacket, «I’ve been feeling nervous, lately. Since, you know, Yi Fan is going to leave soon. I’m afraid I’ve been impolite to you in more than one occasion.»

«When is he supposed to leave?» Sehun asked. This was the closest to an apology he would ever get from Tao, he thought, but still, he appreciated it. The Chinese boy looked honest and straight-forward, under the hard surface.

«On next week» Tao replied, softly, «Saturday.»

«Don’t worry» Sehun offered, «he will come here to visit every time he can.»

Tao nodded, but he looked unsure. «I hope so. It will be difficult, since I’m used having him around all the time.» He paused, swallowing. «I didn’t like you at first.»

«Oh?»

«I didn’t like you _at all_.»

«Well» Sehun replied, rolling his eyes, «at least you kind of let me gather that now you changed your opinion. I suppose I should be happy about it.»

Tao smirked. Sehun never saw him smile for real, and he found it a little sad. It was as if Tao was always ready to defend himself from something, he thought, as if he never let down his guard.

«I was jealous of you» he explained, «because Luhan seemed so fond of you. I didn’t understand why. It made me angry. I changed my mind only when I saw you punching that guy at school.» He looked at him. «You stood out for Baekhyun, and I immediately thought I was wrong about you.»

Sehun bowed his head, overwhelmed. «Thank you, Tao.»

«No need» the other murmured, looking embarrassed. «See you at dinner.»

What a hectic day, Sehun thought, while walking towards his room. Weird things kept happening at a erratic pace.

«Sehun?» Chanyeol approached him in the corridor. «How’s Baekhyun?»

«Better. Xiumin took good care of his ankle.»

«I’ll go and see if he needs help to climb the stairs.» And he disappeared in a flash.

Whatever, Sehun thought. He was really tired, and he felt oddly dirty. He needed a shower and a little rest, yeah, definitely...

In his room, Luhan was waiting for him on his bed. When he saw him, he jumped on his feet and he ran to him. «Easy» Sehun warned him, when the boy reached for his face, «it’s nothing serious, but it still hurts.»

Luhan stared at him, ghosting his fingertips on his bruised skin. Suddenly, he didn’t feel tired anymore. «I think I need a hug» he murmured, letting the boy envelop him in his warm arms.

Careful not to get hurt, he leaned his forehead on Luhan’s shoulder. They stayed like this for long, losing track of time, until the others began to call for dinner.

Baekhyun didn’t join them. Chanyeol told everyone he stayed in his room to rest. «I’ll bring some food to him later» he added. «Oh, and I’ll let him put on makeup on my face, if he wants. He always gets in a good mood, when I let him do that.» Sehun thought it was nice of him.

«Is it true you write songs?» he asked. Chanyeol looked at him, curious.

«Yes. Who told you?»

«Baekhyun. He says you are good at it.»

The other frowned. «Weird» he noticed. «He always tells me I’m noisy and that my music isn’t good.»

«He actually told me this morning!»

«Last time he even said my music could be considered good just by menstruated teenagers crushing for their bias.»

«Oh, God!» Sehun burst out laughing, actually feeling some pain on his face. «It’s so funny. I bet you feel flattered.»

«Yeah» Chanyeol laughed, rice falling down his mouth, «he’s so charming. If I were gay, I’d fall for him immediately.»

Back on his room, Sehun tried calling his mother on her phone. When she didn’t pick up, he went on the corridor to check if Luhan’s laptop was messing with the wifi, but the call failed again. He left a message in the voicemail.

«Where are you, mom? I miss you. Please call me back when you hear this, okay? I really need to talk to you.» He stopped, swallowing down his tears. «I love you.»

He could hear some faint giggles and little screams, and when he passed in front of Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s room he got a glimpse of a very pretty Chanyeol, hair pinned back with a tiny flower pin, while Baekhyun was carefully contouring his face with a makeup brush. At least he seemed to feel better, he thought, passing by.

Sitting at his desk, Luhan raised his head. He knew he was trying to call his mother, and he was surprised to see he returned so quickly.

Sehun shrugged. «She didn’t answer» he said. «I guess she was busy.» _At half past ten o’clock, on Wednesday night. Probably partying somewhere, or chatting with handsome boys who are half of her age at a host club_.

Luhan realized about his concern, and he moved his chair to come closer. «I’m afraid she just feels better without us messing with her life» Sehun murmured, feeling like a monster just for thinking that way. «A drunkard husband and a good-for-nothing son.» Luhan shook his head no, bringing his fingers to his face to gently caress his cheeks.

Sehun loved when he did that. It made him feel good. Pampered. Cared for.

«Probably I’m just a terrible mama’s boy» he went on, finally letting a single tear fall down, «but I really miss my mom, especially after a day like this. I guess I could go venting to Xiumin, but it wouldn’t be the same.» He stared into Luhan’s black eyes, which turned sad.

«I’m sorry» he said, cupping Luhan’s face with his hands, «I shouldn’t talk about this. Shall we go to bed?»

Luhan nodded. They got ready like usual, then the Chinese boy pointed at his laptop.

«Oh, a movie? Sounds good to me. Just, not a sappy thing like yesterday, please.»

Luhan smiled, scrolling down a folder. It was full of anime. «I love this stuff» Sehun sighed, laying contentedly while the smaller boy settled leaning against him. They watched some weird cartoon characters fighting and being overdramatic until late, when Sehun finally gave in, falling into oblivion.

\---oOo---

«We shall organize a farewell party for Yi Fan» Baekhyun suggested, the morning after. Sehun looked at him, trying to overlap the image of miserable boy of the night before and the lively creature sitting next to him. Actually, the sprained ankle gave Baekhyun the opportunity to be carried anywhere, which he just _loved_ , and to be spoiled senseless, which he loved even more. So, in that moment he looked the happiest human being on Earth, even if Sehun still found a little difficult to forget about the crisis he let out in Xiumin’s arms.

«Oh, yes, we definitely should. Are you okay with this, Tao?» Chanyeol added.

The Chinese boy nodded, pensive. His eyes were following his tall boyfriend, who was helping Xiumin scooping the rice in the cups.

«I’ll buy some snacks at school» Yixing said, «and Joonmyeon will get some booze.»

«Are you guys only thinking about getting drunk?» Kyungsoo reproached them, and Sehun thought he was right. The mere mention of alcohol, actually, made him feel nauseous.

He texted his father, the day before, and he was still waiting for his reply. It was as if his family had shattered into a million of pieces.

«I’ll provide some music» Chanyeol barged in.

«Not yours, I hope» Baekhyun immediately bitched back. «Anything depressing.»

«As your majesty wishes.»

«Idiot.»

«Moron.»

«Stop bickering, you two» Xiumin scolded them, handing the rice over, «and eat your breakfast.»

Suddenly, Tao moved his chair and went away. Yi Fan said something in Chinese, but the boy ignored him and went upstairs.

A stunned silence fell among the boys.

«I guess it isn’t a good idea, after all» Kyungsoo commented. 

«Our Tao is sensitive, even if he doesn’t let it show» Kai added.

Sehun watched, as Yi Fan excused himself and followed his boyfriend upstairs. If he were alone just like Tao, the perspective of being even more lonely in the future would be terrible. He couldn’t blame Tao for not being in the mood to party.

«Are you going to school, today?» Baekhyun asked him.

«No» Sehun replied. «I’m having a couple days off, just to let my face look a little less ugly.»

«I think all this purple and green kind of suits you.»

«How funny.»

Baekhyun giggled. «Can we do some Maths together, later?»

«Yup» Sehun agreed. «Two brains are better than one.»

He greeted Luhan and the others, then helped Xiumin cleaning up. He still felt a little weird about Baekhyun’s sudden recovery. It somehow didn’t feel natural, as if he boy was faking it.

«Listen» he asked, when they were left alone in the common room, «are you really okay? I mean... after what happened yesterday...»

The other looked at him, eyes wide. «Yes, I am. And you?»

«Don’t change subject. We were talking about you.»

Baekhyun sighed. «Sehun, I was in pain, I was tired and maybe I overacted a little. Don’t take it too seriously.»

«I’m sorry. When I hear someone saying he hates himself, I can’t help but feeling worried for him. Especially if he’s a friend of mine.»

Baekhyun took a sip from his cup of iced tea, eyebrows knitted together. «You must be a saint or something» he muttered. «You stood up even took a beating to protect me. You always escort Luhan around as if he’s royalty. You even managed to strike a chord in Tao’s heart, it seems. Who the heck are you?»

Sehun looked at him. The words were harsh, but his expression was soft.

«There’s no need to act brave, Baekhyun» he murmured, patting his hand on his friend’s carefully manicured one, «we are on the same boat, here. I’d be an insensitive jerk, if I didn’t realize about your misery.»

The boy sniffed, wiping his eyes with his fingers. «I don’t want to cry. Xiumin could come anytime, and I don’t want him to see me in this state.»

«I’m sorry.»

«It’s not your fault» Baekhyun said, «but mine. I like girly stuff and I act annoying. It’s natural, for people, to think I’m grotesque.»

«Those people are stupid, and you can’t change what you are. And if you really care to know, I think you’re one of the cutest boys I’ve met. As in good-looking.»

Baekhyun shot a sharp glance at him. «So... are you gay too?»

 _Am I?_ Sehun felt there was no reason to lie anymore. «Yes» he replied, feeling strangely proud of himself for admitting it. It had been easy. He used to fantasize a lot about his coming out, but honestly, he would have never imagined it would have been to another homosexual. He more or less believed it would have likely happened with his parents... but he didn’t want to think about it.

Baekhyun looked impressed.  «I wasn’t sure, actually» he said. «Thank you for being honest to me. So... Luhan and you...»

Sehun blushed. «Not really» he admitted, «not exactly. We’re... err, getting to know each other, I guess.»

Baekhyun grinned at him.  «So cruel. Can’t you spill out some saucy detail to a good friend like me?»

«Have you ever been in love with anyone, Baekhyun?» The question left Baekhyun speechless.

Sehun looked at the boy, trying to decipher the startled expression which suddenly twisted his pretty features. «Did I say something wrong?»

«No, no. It’s just... fuck» Baekhyun cursed, rustling on his pocket, «I need a tissue. Excuse me.» Sehun watched as he wiped his runny nose, a little shocked by the powerful reaction that such a simple question elicited.

«I’m sorry, Baekhyun, I didn’t want to make you cry. Please, let’s focus on Maths.  We can talk about it later, if you want, or we can just pretend this conversation never happened.»

«No» the other almost shouted, «no, I want to tell. I’ve never told anyone, and I think I might go crazy if I continue keeping it a secret.»

«Go on, then» Sehun murmured, caressing his hand to make him calm down. Baekhyun took another sip from his cup, trying to relax.

«Okay. It’s Chanyeol.»

«Well» Sehun had to admit, «it was a little predictable, wasn’t it? I mean, he’s your roommate and stuff. He’s quite handsome and he seems to really care about you. Why don’t you confess to him? I think you two would make a cute couple.»

Baekhyun shook his head. «You know nothing about him» he said, «this is why you think this way.»

And he actually started crying. Sehun watched as he pressed the tissue to his nose, confused. «Why? What do you mean?»

Baekhyun swallowed hard. «He’s not gay» he told him. «He hates gay people.»

«Well» Sehun observed, «I don’t think so. A lot of guys are gay, here, and he doesn’t seem to have a problem with it.»

«No, no, you don’t understand» Baekhyun insisted. «When he was younger, he had... he endured a bad experience.»

Sehun felt his heart sink. «What kind of bad experience?»

Baekhyun looked at him, eyes dark and troubled. «When he was in middle school, a man kidnapped him while he was playing with his sister in a park and he abused of him, threatening him to kill him if he ever told anyone.»

«God.»

«Yeah, _God_. Thankfully, he was brave enough to tell his parents, and the rapist hanged himself in prison.» He drank again, and Sehun thought his throat must feel very dry. «His family tried to help him, but he kept feeling terrible, in his hometown, where everything reminded him of what happened. His therapist is a friend of Xiumin, and he asked him if he could accept him in the foster home. Well, he got better, but he never fully recovered. He’s still having nightmares. When he does, he spends the night crying in his bed, alone, and he won’t let me comfort him in any way. It breaks my heart, Sehun, because I really love him, but believe me... he would never let himself grow close to someone like me. Not after what he had to suffer.» He paused, looking at him. «How pathetic am I?»

«You’re not pathetic» Sehun said, «you’re kind and generous for thinking this way.»

«He’s the kind and generous one, for letting me cling on him like I do. If I were in his shoes, I would loathe having a gay dude sharing a room or even stay close to me like he does.»

Sehun kept silent, gently touching his hand until Baekhyun’s crisis subsided. «Damn it» the other murmured, «you’re such a darling. If Luhan and you weren’t so cute together I’d totally fall for someone like you. Life is unfair.»

And Sehun thought he was right, he totally was. He spent the remainder of the day in a daze, thinking about the mess that his life became.

«Are you okay with eating pizza tonight, guys? I’m too tired to cook» Xiumin said, while they were having lunch.

«I love pizza» Sehun and Baekhyun replied together, and the man visibly relaxed.

«Thank you, really. I think I’ll go to bed early. I’m not feeling well.»

«You overworked yourself, baby» Chen told him, touching his head with a tender gesture. «Just rest for tonight, I’ll go buying some pizza and I’ll bring you some.»

The psychologist smiled. «With pineapple and shrimps, if you please.»

«Okay.»

«Chen?» Sehun asked, when the psychologist left, «how did you meet Xiumin?»

The man looked at him curiously. «We met at a vernissage a common friend organized.»

«And... how did you guys get together?»

Chen smiled. «The way everyone does» he said. «Dating. Going to the cinema. Strolling around hand by hand. I even bought him flowers, once or twice.»

Sehun was mesmerized by the calm way he was explaining everything. He made it look so easy. «And your families were okay with it?»

«Absolutely not» Chen replied, laughing. «My mother refused to talk to me for almost a whole month, when she realized I was dating a boy. And my father blocked my credit card and threatened to throw me out in the streets.»

«And now? Are they still disapproving it?»

Chen shook his head. «No. It took a while, an awfully long while, but in the end they understood that I really loved Minseok. That I would have rather die, instead of ending our relationship. They attended our wedding, you see. And they helped us buying this place.» He raised his eyes, gazing lovingly at the old walls. «It’s the best thing we could do. I’ve never regretted it.»

«So romantic» Baekhyun sighed, and in that moment, in that precise moment, Sehun felt it too.

A desperate sense of missing.

Luhan. He wanted Luhan in his arms, immediately. He wanted to hold him, to make him smile, to make him look at him like he did when he made him feel all nice and tingly inside.

He used the word “love”, before, but he never fully realized about its meaning until then.

He waited for the Chinese boy in his room, counting every second passing. When he came in smiling as usual, he smiled back, his palms sweaty, his pulse quickening.

«I missed you» he murmured, and Luhan’s smile became so wide he almost felt like crying.

The boy approached him, throwing his arms around his neck to pull him closer. Sehun held him tightly, inhaling his sweet scent. He kissed the tender skin below his ear, then his cheek, then his lips. He even tasted sweet.

Luhan responded to his touch, pressing their bodies together. Feeling strangely bold, Sehun let his hands roam on the boy’s slender back, following his spine with his fingertips. «Have I already told you that you’re beautiful?» he muttered against his lips, and Luhan kissed him with strength. No, not strength, Sehun thought. _Passion_. This was the right word.

«Are... are you okay if I’m going to touch you?»

Luhan nodded, breathless, and Sehun let his hands fall on the small of his back. From under the sturdy fabric of his trousers, Luhan’s buttocks felt soft and firm.

Sehun didn’t know whose knees gave in first, but all of a sudden the two of them were staggering on the floor until they found a wall to support themselves.

«Oh... my... God» Sehun breathed, gasping for air. With his back against the cold wall, feeling Luhan’s body pressed flush against his was new. New, and hot. He could feel his own member stir in his pants against the smaller boy’s thigh. It felt... hot. So damn hot.

Luhan smirked, realizing about the situation. Eyes deep and dark with _something_ (desire? Lust?), he slowly, deliberately sneaked a hand under Sehun’s T-shirt, touching his bare skin.

Sehun let out a sound at the sudden sensation, something in between a sob and a pained cry. He wanted to do it too, he wanted to touch all of Luhan... but he didn’t want him to stop either. He wanted everything... he couldn’t think straight. Luckily, his hands seemed to know better, quickly unbuttoning Luhan’s jacket and tie while the boy shrugged them away with a swift movement. He was so graceful, Sehun thought, he looked like a dancer. «Kiss me» Sehun demanded, quivering, and Luhan complied, crashing his mouth against Sehun’s lips.

He soon began to trail a line of small kisses along Sehun’s throat, down his chest (when did he took his shirt off? He couldn’t remember things clearly) and abdomen. Luhan’s fingers grazed against Sehun’s nipples, sending a distinct wave of pleasure to his member. He could not believe how excited he was. He felt so hot his knees were buckling.

«Luhan... let’s take it to the bed. Please.»

The other pulled him by his wrist, and Sehun let himself fall on the mattress, making room for Luhan to straddle him. Their crotches came in contact, and even with the fabric of their clothes still separating them, the pleasure when Luhan’s hips ground into his was so intense he almost came.

«Does it feel great for you too?» he murmured, reaching out to grab the boy’s hips. Luhan’s mouth was agape, his face flushed. Sehun felt as if he could drown in his beauty.

Panting, he unbuckled his jeans, while Luhan frantically fumbled with his belt. «Quick... quick... Oh God, oh my God.» Sehun had no idea why he felt the urge to finish. He just knew he would get crazy, if his excitement didn’t reach a climax in a short time.

Luhan bent down to place an open-mouthed kiss on Sehun’s lower abdomen, and he gave in a strangled cry. He wanted to feel more of those lips on him... he didn’t know _why_ , but he exactly knew _where_. On the most intimate part of his body.

Evidently Luhan shared the same need, because he hurriedly rolled away Sehun’s underwear, making the boy’s member spring free against his belly. 

Slowly, tentatively, he licked around the tip, and Sehun saw stars. «Ah!»

He reached out, desperate to touch, to caress, and he twisted his arm to make his hand slide beneath the elastic of Luhan’s boxers. He felt the boy breath against his heated skin, and he knew he wouldn’t last long. «I’m close» he whispered, not trusting his voice. «Come with me? Please?»

He sobbed when Luhan’s lips wrapped tightly around his member. He did his best to squeeze him hard, hoping he was feeling the same pleasure that was wrecking him. It all lasted a few seconds.

The orgasm crept on Sehun’s belly, ranking up his spine like a shock, making him shake and quiver and cry out uncontrollably. He wrapped his free arm around Luhan’s back, yanking him closer, and the boy’s slender and hard body fell on his own, as he found his own release. Sehun could feel his heartbeat through the tender skin of his member, while his hand got sticky because of  Luhan’s semen.

He kissed him, tasting a slightly bitter flavour on his lips, which belonged to him, and this made him feel powerful, sensual. He felt adult and grown up, while he held Luhan close, panting. He felt exhausted, but also happy, as they shared a trembling but mischievous smile, followed by another, gentle kiss, before they both closed their eyes.


	6. A little blue interlude

Sehun opened his eyes after a while, glancing at his lover. «I think we should have a good shower» he suggested, softly. Luhan nodded, sitting on the bed while wiping his sweat-slicked hair away from his face. Before standing up, he reached out for Sehun.

«What?» the boy asked, surprised. «Together?»

Luhan smiled. _Why not?_

Sehun still had a little trouble believing it happened for real. Now that he could see it naked, he thought that Luhan’s body was beautiful, a real work of art. His limbs were well-proportioned, lean and graceful, and perfectly suited his height and body structure. He was slender, but muscular enough not to look thin. And his skin was fair, a tiny bit tanned on his arms and legs, but smooth and silky under his fingertips.

Sehun was already touching him, without even knowing. It felt weird, not being able to keep his own hands away from Luhan. He could feel himself becoming hard again.

Luhan turned on the water while they both stepped in the shower. The cabin was narrow, and they were obliged to be close to each other.

Sehun wetted his hair and shook his head like a dog, making the other smile. He liked it, when Luhan smiled. Happiness made his face wonderful to look at.

«I wish I was as pretty as you» he murmured, playfully nipping at Luhan’s earlobe, but he was sincere.

The other looked at him, letting his hands roam all over Sehun’s taut abdomen, long arms and torso. Something, about the way he kept caressing him made Sehun blush like a schoolgirl. It was as if Luhan was talking to him aloud, when he kept his eyes transfixed into his like that. _You are,_ he was saying, even if he kept perfectly silent, _you are very pretty._

«What is it?» Sehun softly murmured, leaning his forehead on Luhan’s, «I’ve never felt this way towards someone. Never felt this... attracted...» Surprisingly, he choked on the words, because his throat felt tight. He was about to cry because of the rush of emotions running through him. «You have no idea of what you do to me» he breathed, kissing him again. Luhan’s lips were so soft, tasted so good. And the water running over them made everything even more intimate, even more sensual.

They took their sweet time, pouring soap all over their bodies, massaging each other, taking turns to wash their hair. Sehun discovered three moles in a triangle shape on Luhan’s nape and he kissed them, one by one. Luhan quickly found out he was ticklish, and he had fun making him giggle and squirm. 

That night, the boys ate pizza together. For once, Xiumin was at the dinner table with them, without wearing his apron to serve dinner, and he sat next to his husband. For the whole dinner, Sehun kept glancing at them. The two spouses never really touched each other in front of the boys, and that night made no exception. Just once or twice, Sehun noticed Chen’s arm swinging casually over Xiumin’s shoulders, while the two listened at Baekhyun chatting. They never really hugged, or kissed, or even told anything meaningful to each other, but their closeness and calm demeanour spoke clearly enough. Were real couples supposed to be like this? Sehun couldn’t remember his parents going somewhere holding hands or being on a date. All he remembered was his mother sitting on the sofa next to his father, who half of the times was dozing off, in front of the TV screen with a scowl on her face. 

He was still waiting for his mom to call back.

«Excuse me for a moment» he whispered in Luhan’s ear, before walking away from the table and fishing for his phone in his pocket. Just one last try, he told himself.

He dialled his mother’s number, listening to the beeps of the line. 

«Honey» his mother chirped, «are you okay?»

Sehun could have cried. He was so happy to hear her voice. «Hello mom.»

«I’m sorry I didn’t call you back sweetie. I kept having too many people around, I wanted to talk to you without anyone eavesdropping.»

«It’s okay mom... I missed you.»

«Oh honey» the woman murmured, «I miss you too. But I guess we need to get used to it.»

«Did you talk to Mrs Park? When will I be able to see you and dad?»

«Sehun...» his mother sighed. «I told you. It’s not going to happen soon. We both need some time to...»

Sehun felt something snap inside of him. «I’m not buying this anymore, mom. What are trying to tell me?»

«Nothing honey, really. Your dad and me are just trying to cope with this weird situation, as well as you. We’re all doing our best.»

«Mom. Stop giving me this bullshit. I’m done with your lies. What the fuck is going on?»

«Honey.» His mother sounded dumbfounded by his cursing, but Sehun didn’t care. He needed to know.

«I texted dad yesterday, and I’m still waiting for a reply. He always replies to text messages. What the hell is going on? What are you hiding?»

He believed he heard a choking sound. «Sehun, please. You’re making it difficult.»

«Don’t you think of me? I’m the one who’s having difficulties, right now. The first days in the new school were a nightmare, mom. One of my friends was bullied in front of my eyes and I was beaten too. Did you bother asking how it went, before complaining that things are difficult for you?»

«Honey» his mother’s shaky voice interrupted him, «you said you were beaten? Are you hurt?»

«Don’t change topic.»

A sigh. A long, dramatic one. «Okay then. I guess you’re right. You’re not a child anymore.» Sehun waited for the woman to look for the right words to say. After what looked like an eternity, his mother finally spoke. «I’m divorcing.»

Sehun felt his insides clench. He kind of saw it coming, but he still hoped he had been wrong. Well, until that moment. «Mom» he pleaded, «you can’t be serious.»

«Honey, I’m sorry. I can’t deal with this anymore.» Now he was sure of it: she was crying. «Every night I had to stay awake, waiting for your father to come home drunk. He drowned our finances, our bank account is empty. He even took all the money we put aside for your future university bills...»

«Mom» Sehun repeated, shocked. He didn’t even know his parents were saving to let him study. If he had known, maybe he would have done a little better in school.

«He hit me» she added. «Did you know?»

«No.»

The woman was now sobbing, and Sehun felt terrible. How could he not see how bad the whole situation was? Why didn’t he pay attention? There were little clues, he remembered. His mom putting on way more makeup than usual, or sunglasses when it was cloudy outside. The fridge being empty more than once or twice when he checked. 

How could he not realize? Because avoiding to see other people’s pain was easier, he guessed. 

«I’m so sorry, mom» he murmured. «I’ve been selfish. I shouldn’t have talked to you like this. But... I didn’t know.»

«Sweetie, it’s alright. I did my very best to spare you from all this. But now... I don’t know, since you said you’re not doing well in that foster home, maybe I should ask the social assistant to put you somewhere else...»

«No!» Sehun yelled, before realizing. «No, don’t fucking do anything this stupid!»

«Sehun» his mother whispered, «you’re acting so weird.»

He tried to calm down. «I’m sorry. But please, believe me, it’s okay. I’m doing fine here. My assistants already talked to the school and settled everything. The student who beat me is going to be punished. I love all my new friends here... I just wanted to hear from you and I acted spoiled, thinking you were having fun without me. I’m sorry.»

«I should have told you sooner.»

«Please, mom» Sehun pleaded, «don’t make me cry. The others will hear me.»

«Okay, okay.» The woman chuckled a little. «Sweetheart, I’ll do my very best to come to visit as soon as they let me. Just... don’t expect to see your father so soon, not even to hear from him. He doesn’t have his phone anymore... clinic’s policy and stuff.»

«Okay.»

«I love you, Sehun.»

«I love you too, mom.»

He ended the call. His head was spinning, and he sat on his heels because he didn’t trust his knees anymore. He took several deep breaths, before joining the others again. 

«Are you okay?» Kyungsoo asked, looking at him quizzically. «You look weird.»

«Just a call from home» Sehun minimised. «Nothing important.»

Luhan’s hand took his one under the table. Sehun held it as if it could prevent him from falling apart.

\---oOo---

Later, he decided to help cleaning the common room, to keep his hands busy. He felt restless, and he believed it was better to channel the weird energy running through him in something useful for everyone. Luhan went to the dorm, determined to study.

«You can go to bed, Minseok» Chen suggested. «Sehun and me will do everything.»

«Okay baby» the psychologist agreed, hugging the boy then exchanging a quick, chaste kiss with his husband. «Don’t overdo it.»  
Chen smiled. «That’s my line.»

Sehun watched as they parted and Chen took a broomstick to start dusting the floor. He waited for the man to clean it up, then he grabbed the mop and washed it energetically. When he was finished, he helped Chen making the table for breakfast, then he bad the man goodnight and left. 

He didn’t feel like going in his room. He climbed up the stairs, listening to the voices of the other boys roaming in the corridor, chatting, laughing, someone (probably Baekhyun) even screaming. They all carried their own burden, but they didn’t seem to act so miserable like him in that moment. It looked like they were trying their best to face their lives with a smile.

Well, he couldn’t do it. Not in that moment, surely.

He saw a small staircase he didn’t notice before, and he climbed it up, wondering where it led. At the end, he found a small metal door, and he pushed it. 

The night wind hit him in the face, he was unprepared. He glanced around: it looked like some sort of roof, very spacious and clean like everything in the foster home. A stash of laundry was hanging from a few strings in a corner, with lots of male clothing, and Sehun smiled, recognizing a pair of Luhan’s socks. He approached the balcony, looking down. The town looked quiet and calm, with the many lights of cars passing by.

«Feeling blue?»

Sehun jumped, startled, but relaxed immediately when Tao stepped closer. The tall Chinese was smoking a cigarette. «I didn’t know about this place» Sehun told him.

«Yeah. I always come here when I want to be alone.»

They stayed next to each other, silent, watching the lights on the streets. «Looks like Luhan and you got closer» Tao finally said. «I’m glad.»

Sehun blinked. «How do you know?»

The other glanced at him. «He kept staring at you adoringly for the whole night. Only a blind man wouldn’t see it.»

«I guess you’re right» Sehun chuckled. He sighed, sitting on the floor while Tao settled next to him.

«Bad news from home?»

Sehun nodded, not trusting his voice. «I’m sorry» Tao said.

«Do you miss your parents too?»

«No» Tao curtly replied, and they both kept silent afterwards. They stared into nothing, lost in their thoughts.

«About Yi Fan’s farewell party» Tao suddenly said, «you can do it, if you guys want.»

Sehun looked at him. His profile looked dark and impenetrable in the dim light. «And are you okay with it?»

Tao shrugged. «It won’t change the fact that he’ll leave.»

«I’m sorry, Tao.»

«Don’t» the other said, harsh, «don’t be sorry. It isn’t of any help.» 

And he took his head between his hands, pushing as if he wanted to smash his skull. Sehun reached out and stroked his hair gently, while Tao’s face seemed to melt down.

«I think I can see now why Luhan fell for you so quickly» Tao gruffly blurted out, when he could talk again. «You’re sweet.»

Sehun laughed, and the other glared at him. «What’s so funny?»

«Nobody ever called me sweet!» 

Tao snorted, and they both felt better. «Aren’t we cute» the Chinese murmured, «sitting here licking our wounds like puppies.»

«Eww» Sehun said, and this time they laughed together. It felt good, he thought. Very good. Heart-warming. 

«Look» Tao said, rustling in one of his pockets. Sehun stretched his neck, and what he saw left him speechless.

«Is it...»

Tao blushed a little. «Yes, it is» he confirmed. «It’s an engagement ring. I want to give it to Yi Fan before he leaves. I have a matching one.»

Sehun took the small metal circle into his fingers, trying it on. It was too large for him, but it was gracefully carved with Chinese characters. «What do the writings mean?»

Tao averted his eyes, looking sheepish again. «It’s a Chinese poem» he explained. « _Our fate is like a boat / down by the river / down in the maelstrom / now in tranquil waters / but we are still sailing._ »

«Wow» Sehun murmured. «It’s...» He was about to say “romantic” but it would have make him sound sappy, and also a little annoying. He couldn’t find the right word to say. 

«Yi Fan saved me» Tao admitted, after a long silence, «in many, many ways. I’ve never really told him, and I thought this gift would help me convey the right message. I’m not good at this kind of things.»

Sehun smiled. «He’ll be so happy to receive it. And you two will be an amazing couple.»

Tao hunched his shoulders, embarrassed. He scratched his nose, looking away. Another long silence passed between them. «I want to show you a thing» he suddenly announced.

«Another?» Sehun chuckled.

Tao took his phone, pressing a few keys. «I found it on my old elementary school website» he explained. 

Sehun looked. It was a video recording of a school play where a bunch of small children wearing cute costumes were singing together. «Is that you?» Sehun asked, pointing at a little boy with small eyes and puffy cheeks. «You were cute!»

Tao rolled his eyes. One of the chorus’ children in the video took a few steps towards the end of the stage, ready to make a solo. «Does this little boy look familiar to you?»

Sehun studied the kid’s delicate face, his round cheeks and sweet, black eyes. «Is he perhaps... Luhan?»

«Bingo.»

Sehun was about to say something, that the little Luhan on the screen opened his mouth and started singing. His voice was the purest sound Sehun had ever heard, a perfect treble which pierced the listener’s heart. 

«Oh my God» he murmured. «It’s...»

«Yes» Tao added, «he used to sing in church. He was so talented. He also won an award of some kind, I can’t remember.»

«Did you show this video to him?»

Tao shook his head. «I was waiting for the right moment to, but it never really came. I think it’s better if you do it.»

Sehun blinked. «Why me?»

«I can’t believe you’re really asking.»

«Okay, okay» Sehun surrended. «I think I get it. Just... not now, okay? Luhan and me are still... well...»

Tao looked at him. «Just keep it» he said, calmly. «You decide when it’s the best moment to show him. Everybody keeps being nice to him, waiting patiently for the moment when he’ll open his mouth and talk, but nobody asked him directly. I think that, if a person he really cares for asks him, he might find the resolution to comply.»

«Makes sense» Sehun agreed. «Thank you so much.»

«You’re welcome» Tao rigidly replied. «And for the party... anything fancy, anything Baekhyun’s style. Just something simple.»

«Okay.»

The Chinese smashed his cigarette against the sole of his shoe. «See you.»

«See you.»

When Sehun went back to his room, Luhan flew into his arms. «Sorry, I’m late» Sehun murmured against his hair. «I needed to be alone.»

The Chinese boy held him close, stroking his back, and Sehun finally relaxed. «I love you» he whispered.

Luhan blinked at him, vaguely pointing towards himself. _Me? Are you sure?_

«Yes» Sehun confirmed, kissing the tip of Luhan’s nose. «Yes. I’m sure.» 

What he didn’t expect, was the reaction that followed those words. Luhan broke down crying, shoving him away. He covered his face with his hands, looking shocked.

«Luhan!» Sehun cried out, reaching for him, «please, don’t. What’s wrong?»

The boy tried to push him away, but Sehun’s arms clenched around him, preventing him. He let out a small, pained sound, the very first Sehun heard escaping from Luhan’s throat.

«Please, Luhan» he implored, «tell me. What’s wrong?»

Luhan shook his head frantically. He was trembling all over, and he heaved over Sehun as if he couldn’t even stand. 

Half-carrying him, Sehun made him sit down on his desk chair. «Now, you have to calm down. It’s okay. I’m with you. Nothing bad is going to happen. I’m sorry I upset you.»

Luhan grabbed Sehun’s hand, pressing it to his cheek. He was still quivering, but he looked at little better. Sehun dared to leave him for a moment, to fill up a glass of water which the boy drank greedily. 

«Is it over?» Sehun asked, gently. Luhan blinked once or twice, looking drained and utterly confused. A panic attack, Sehun thought, a quick but terrible one. He hugged the boy tightly, kissing his temple. «I’m sorry, it’s all my fault.»

This time, Luhan shook his head with more decision, then he grabbed a paper sheet and a pen from his desk, starting to scribble down something. When he showed it to Sehun, the Korean boy felt a stinging pain.

 _Please, don’t say you love me. I don’t want you to get hurt._

«But Luhan» Sehun weakly protested, «what are you saying? Who is going to hurt me? It doesn’t make sense...»

Luhan wrote again.

_He told me he would watch over me. He told me he would kill everyone I loved._

Sehun was in horror. «Who, baby?» the loving word escaped his mouth without him noticing, but Luhan did. He looked at him, eyes big and pleading. 

Slowly, he wrote down something else, big tears running down his cheeks.

_My mother’s assassin._

\---oOo---

«So at least now we know» Xiumin said. «He was threatened.»

Sehun lowered his head. The man sighed, glancing at Luhan, who was sitting next to him on the sofa, holding a cup between his hands. He was all curled up like a ball, wrapped in a blanket because he kept shivering as if he was cold. When Xiumin felt his forehead, he was warm like he was running a fever. 

As soon as Luhan finished writing, Sehun immediately went to call Xiumin. The psychologist was tired and under his eyes two dark circles were clearly visible, but he didn’t hesitate to get up to help Sehun take care of Luhan. Chen, even if terribly sleepy, went into the kitchen to get something to drink, and Sehun almost threw a fit of hysterical laughter when he saw Luhan scowling in front of the cup of warm milk that the man handed to him.

It all felt unreal, like in a bad dream. It was almost two o’clock in the night and Sehun was dead tired, but he was determined to stay by Luhan’s side. 

Xiumin stroked the Chinese boy’s hair. «Luhan» he said, «is it true? Did the man who killed your mother tell he would come back to kill you too?»

Luhan nodded. His left hand grabbed Sehun’s one. He was terrified.

«Dear» Xiumin tried to calm him down, «no need to be this scared. Whoever he is, he’s still in China, while you’re here. Nobody knows you’re in Korea. You’re safe.»

Luhan shook his head no, tears spilling again, and Chen took the cup from his hand before he made it empty its content on the couch. 

«Why not?» Xiumin asked, but the boy just stared at him, unable to reply. Sehun handed to him the paper and the pen he used to write before, and Luhan gladly accepted it.

Sehun kept glancing at Xiumin while Luhan wrote, and he could see the psychologist’s eyes sparkle in spite of the tiredness. Having Luhan writing down something to communicate was such a huge improvement, for him, that he almost couldn’t believe it.

When the boy was done, Sehun handed the paper to the psychologist. « _I’m not safe here. I won’t be safe anywhere_ » he read. «But why? Only a few relatives of yours know that you’re in Korea...»

Luhan shook so terribly that Sehun was scared he could panic again, and he threw his arms around him, hugging him tight in front of the two assistants. He didn’t care, honestly. All he wanted was for Luhan to feel better.

Xiumin’s eyebrows were knitted together. «Luhan» he said, «you mean that your mother’s assassin was a member of your family?»

Again, Luhan emitted a faint groan, muffled by Sehun’s chest. 

«My God» Chen murmured, pitying him. «I can’t believe it.»

«Luhan» Xiumin asked, on the edge of his seat, «would you write down this person’s name for me?»

Luhan’s breathing quickened, and Sehun held him tighter. «You can do it» he encouraged him softly. «You’ve been great until now.»

«Luhan, we can report this guy to the police. We can seek justice for your mom. Do you understand?» the psychologist went on, the adrenaline running through his veins making him talk quick.

Chen kept looking at Luhan, shaking his head slowly. 

Shaking, Luhan took the paper from Xiumin’s hands again, holding the pen as if he wanted to break it, and he began to write a name, excruciatingly slowly.

When he was finished, he stared at what he wrote as if he couldn’t believe it, then he went limp in Sehun’s arms, all the strength drained from his body.

Xiumin read the paper, shocked.

«Who? Who is it?» Chen asked. The psychologist looked at his husband.

«It’s his uncle» he said. «Minister Han’s brother.»


	7. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I highly recommend listening to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUntwqXIZ-8.html) as a soundtrack for the last scene of this chapter. <3

Luhan was in his bed, and Sehun was sitting on the edge of the mattress, looking at the sleeping boy. Xiumin told him to go to sleep as well, but he couldn’t. 

He didn’t want to leave him alone, not even while he was unconscious.

«I’m so sorry, baby» he murmured, gently stroking Luhan’s hair, «I’m so sorry for what you had to suffer.»

Outside, it was already dawning. Sehun could see the first light of the day beginning to shine over the white covers, and he adjusted it to protect Luhan from the sunrays. «I have school, today» he said, softly. «You’ll have to wait for me. Please stay safe, okay?»

He smoothed down Luhan’s hair for the last time, then he got up and began to get ready. Since it would have been impossible to get washed without waking Luhan with the sound of water running, he got out of the room and he knocked on Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s door.  
«May I use your bathroom, guys? Luhan had a very bad night and I’d like to let him rest.»

Chanyeol slitted the door open. «Sehun! Thank God you’re here. I was about to call you.»

«What’s wrong?» Sehun asked. Please, no more drama, he thought. I can’t take it.

«Come in.» The tall boy ushered him inside. «Can you please try talking to him? He’s locked himself in the bathroom and won’t listen to me.»

Sehun sighed. «Baekhyun, did you hear what I said? I need to use your bathroom, Luhan is unwell. Can you please get out?»

«Just a moment» a tiny voice replied from inside. «I’m getting ready.»

Chanyeol crossed his arms, looking unnerved. «It’s what he’s been repeating for the last hour» he explained. «I’m afraid he’s panicking inside.»

Sehun tried to clear out his mind. Oh, right. That day Baekhyun was supposed to return to school, since his ankle was better. No wonder he was dead scared.

«Please, unlock the door» he told him, «I’ll come inside and help you, okay?»

«O-okay» Baekhyun replied, still a little shakily. The lock clicked open, and Sehun opened the door. «I’m coming in» he cautiously announced, before he stopped, looking at his friend. He didn’t know exactly what he expected to see, but surely not this. Beside him, Chanyeol pushed his way inside.

«Baekhyun, are you alright? Do you need... oh.»

A very distressed and teary Baekhyun turned to face them. The mirror reflected the face of a perfectly normal, even fairly attractive young man, hair nicely combed, wearing a school uniform. His bare face looked unexpectedly good, Sehun thought, as well as the absence of fancy accessories. He even put on normal, black leather shoes, neglecting his beloved ballet flats.

«Don’t look at me» he murmured, «I’m horrible.»

«What are you saying, dummy? You look stunning.»

«Yeah» Chanyeol added, staring at him. «You look different.»

Baekhyun grimaced. This is not what he wanted us to say, Sehun thought. He wasn’t comfortable wearing male clothes. He was stiff as a stick, balancing uneasily on his feet.

«I feel terrible» he said, a miserable look on his face, «I feel disguised like something I am not. I feel fake, and I hate it.» 

«Then tie your hair and put on your eyeliner» Sehun suggested. «I think there’s nothing wrong with the way you usually are.»

«You think that» Baekhyun retorted. «Other people don’t.»

Chanyeol was already on the doorframe, looking at Sehun. «Shall I call Xiumin?»

«Baekhyun, stay here just for a moment» Sehun said, closing the bathroom door behind this back before facing the tall boy. «Don’t even think of running away. He needs you by his side.»

Chanyeol blinked. «I’m not running away. I thought calling an adult would help him think straight...»

«Listen, he’s in love with you» Sehun told him, lowering his voice to a whisper to avoid Baekhyun eavesdropping. He knew he was being harsh, but he couldn’t avoid it, after a sleepless night. His mind was still with Luhan, and every second away from him made him feel terrible. He wanted to get back to his room, to see him just another time before leaving. «He might be scared of being bullied again at school, but it’s your approval, what he seeks the most.»

The other stared back at him, whispering back. «Who do you think you’re talking to? I know, I’m not stupid.»

«And... can’t you do something?»

«Something like what, Sehun?» Chanyeol scowled. «I don’t feel the same towards him. I can’t do anything to make him feel better besides being a good friend to him. But apparently, this is not enough.»

«Well, I think you could do better.»

«Don’t judge me, pretty boy» Chanyeol hissed, «you know nothing about me.»

Sehun sighed, feeling guilty for confronting him in such a rough way. «God, we’re so fucked up.»

«I don’t think God has anything to do with it» Chanyeol bitterly commented, but at least he didn’t look angry towards him. This was enough, for Sehun. He left, knocking on Kyungsoo and Kai’s room to finally be able to get ready for school. 

He felt sorry for them, really. But he honestly thought Baekhyun could find someone better to love than Chanyeol. Maybe he would even tell him, sooner or later, but not now. Now, he had other priorities. 

He brushed his teeth and washed his face, then he got dressed. He spent the morning in a state that words could not describe. He was so tired he barely managed to keep his eyes open, but his mind was strangely focused, not on school, obviously, but on something else. 

Luhan’s uncle was the responsible for his mother’s death. Why? What happened between them? And Luhan, was he so scared just because he was the only witness of the murder? Or was there something else? Sehun couldn’t understand. Losing your mother in such a horrible way, knowing it was a person you knew and trusted who did it, was enough to make you decide to shut your mouth forever and never trust anyone? 

A piece of the puzzle was definitely still missing, this was clear. Luhan’s mystery was still far from being fully solved.

At least, nobody dared to bully Baekhyun or him. The other students stared at his friend when he entered the classroom without his usual female accessories, but nobody made comments about it. They completely ignored Sehun and him, as if they never existed, and honestly, Sehun was glad.

«Are you feeling better?» he asked, when Baekhyun sat next to him during lunch. 

«No» the other sulked. 

«But you see, it’s working. Nobody is nagging you anymore.»

Baekhyun shot an annoyed glance at him. «You’re starting to sound like Chanyeol.»

Hell no. «You’re right» Sehun replied, depressed. «I’m sorry.»

«What happened to Luhan?»

«Something serious. I’ll let you guys know if he gives me permission to. It’s personal... and it’s painful. I really can’t tell more, Baekhyun.»

The boy gulped down a sip of water. «He’s so fucking lucky» he stated, «I’m envious.»

«Lucky?» Sehun stupidly repeated.

«Yup. To have a wonderful boyfriend like you, who is caring and affectionate.»

Sehun blinked. «I’m not his boyfriend!»

The other lifted an eyebrow. «What are you then?»

Sehun didn’t know. Like, he didn’t really know. A week before, he was in his room in his parents’ home, listening to his music or watching some random TV. He would have never imagined, not even in his wildest dreams, that his life would make such a turn all of a sudden.

«I have no idea» he replied, dumbfounded. Baekhyun quirked his head to the side.

«Are you two already fucking? Because you totally look like it.»

«Baekhyun!» Sehun hushed him, «What if someone hears?»

«So I wasn’t wrong» Baekhyun cackled, scooping closer to whisper into Sehun’s ear. «Does he keep silent during sex too?»

Sehun slapped him on his forearm, and the other shrieked as if he was being slaughtered. Sehun found it unexpectedly funny, and he burst out laughing. 

He loved Baekhyun. He couldn’t believe there were people who couldn’t do the same. 

When they came to their lockers to retrieve some books, though, Sehun noticed that Baekhyun suddenly stiffened. «Something wrong?» he asked.

«There’s something inside.»

Sehun watched, eyeing suspiciously what looked like a small parcel wrapped in a supermarket plastic bag. «Is it yours?»

«No» Baekhyun replied, worried. «What if it’s something gross? I mean, the guy who bate us was pretty popular. Maybe his girlfriend or whatnot left a dead rat or a bag of junk in my locker just to scare me to death.»

«A dead rat isn’t scary at all» Sehun boldly stated, but when he reached out for the bag, he noticed his hand was slightly trembling. He took it into his hands, checking the contents.

«No dead rats» he announced, rather confused. 

«What is it then?»

«Well...» Sehun wasn’t sure. He rummaged into the bag, extracting the small items it contained one by one. A few hairpins, the kind Baekhyun loved, a cute beads bracelet, a few brightly coloured bangles and even a small bottle of nail polish. It all seemed to come from the beauty department of a supermarket.

«Who do you think left this stuff in your locker?» Sehun asked, perplexed.

«No clue» Baekhyun replied, his hands moving faster than his mind, while he grabbed the bracelet and immediately tried it on. It was made of pink, transparent and white-striped plastic beads, and there was also a nice dangling charm which looked like a tiny lock. «But I love it.»

«You can’t keep it.» 

«And what would I be supposed to do, then? Throw it away?»

«I don’t know. This just don’t look like something that comes from a secret admirer.»

«Well» Baekhyun replied, letting the bracelet slid under the cuff of his shirt, «I’ll just keep it hidden, then.»

Sehun still wasn’t convinced, but Baekhyun already put the bag and its contents in his school bag, determined to bring everything home, and he had to surrender. And since nothing unpleasant happened to them for that day, he even began to think it really was a gift of some sort. 

«I need to talk to you» Xiumin approached him when he came home. 

«Right now? I want to see Luhan before. »

«You’ll see him later. He feels better. He slept for the whole morning and ate something in the afternoon.»

Sehun crossed his arms, preparing for the bad news. «What do you want to tell me?»

«I talked on the phone to a few people today, mostly Luhan’s social assistants in China. And the situation is complicated.» The man took a deep breath, before gently grabbing Sehun’s elbow and dragging him into his study. «Sorry. I think it’s better for the others not to listen, since it’s personal.»

«I agree. Go on, please.»

«Well. These people told me that Luhan’s uncle, who is a member of the government and a politician, is a true philanthropist, in China. He built up orphanages, he started campaigns for helping children in need and so on. Reporting him to the police would elicit a huge scandal.»

«But we can’t hide the truth» Sehun frowned. 

«Let me go on. To frame him, we need a formal accusation. And since Luhan can’t talk, he needs to write it down, but this is just the beginning.» Xiumin looked nervous. «Since he’s such a powerful man, it will be very difficult for us to be credible. Chinese society is very corrupted, you know. We’ll be put under a lens... we’ll undergo an investigation, and Luhan will need to face the implication of his statement.»

«What do you mean?»

Xiumin hunched his shoulders. «You saw him, Sehun. He doesn’t act so scared because he’s throwing a tantrum. He knows that man and he knows what he’s capable of. He told you, didn’t he? He’s afraid for us, not only for himself.»

Sehun massaged his forehead. «Then, are you perhaps suggesting to keep our mouths shut?»

The psychologist looked at him, and his eyes were sharp. «I think we need to ask him before taking any other step. Actually, he’s doing fine here, especially since you arrived. Here, he can forget about the horrible things that happened to him. He already started communicating... soon he’ll manage to talk, I’m sure of it. Maybe, at least for now, we should just let him be without unnecessarily tormenting him.»

«And since when seeking for justice is tormenting?»

«Sehun» Xiumin insisted, «we must choose the solution that’s better for him. Nothing can change the fact that he’s an orphan, right now, not even starting an exhausting and probably hopeless battle against a man who could crush us anytime.»

Sehun was furious. «I can’t believe it» he hissed. «You’re scared.»

Xiumin snapped as well. «Yes, I’m scared. I’ve you guys to take care for, did you forget? I can’t do anything stupid or reckless. And this is reckless, Sehun. This is not a movie. This would end terribly...»

«Fine» Sehun said, «got it. You already stated it clearly enough.»

«Sehun...» Xiumin began, but the boy shook his head.

«I don’t want to listen to some piteous apology.»

The psychologist looked shaken by his words, but Sehun walked away without turning. He felt bad for hurting him, but Xiumin wasn’t there when Luhan suddenly broke down. He could remember very well the terror in his face, the desperate quivering of his limbs. He looked tiny and frail, when he wrote down the name of his mother’s assassin. If only Xiumin saw him in that moment, he would never think that way.

When he entered his room, Luhan stood up like a spring. He had been waiting for him sitting on his bed, like he always did.

«Come here» Sehun said, opening his arms wide, and the boy complied immediately. They held each other for what seemed like an eternity.

«Are you feeling better?» Sehun asked, looking at Luhan’s face, which showed no signs of puffiness. Luhan nodded, lowering his gaze to caress the side of Sehun’s face, then his bony shoulder and arm. 

Their faces were close, and Sehun could feel his breath on his lips. He kissed him the gentlest he was capable of. Can you feel it? I’ve wanted to do this for the whole day. I’ve missed you terribly.

Luhan backed off a little, reaching out to stroke Sehun’s hair as he nuzzled on his hand. They kissed again, slowly, savouring the closeness, the care.

Sehun dragged him to the bed, helping him lie down. He kissed the tender flesh of his throat, dipping the tip of his tongue in the delicate fontanel where his collarbones met, then down the hard sternum while he unbuttoned the boy’s shirt. He heard Luhan sigh, when he closed his mouth around one of his nipples, sucking gently. 

Was he weird, for desiring to touch him in a sexual way when he knew he was so hurt? But he remembered how it felt when they touched each other before. Afterwards, he felt strong and full of energy, almost rejuvenated. He just wanted Luhan to feel good too, he thought. He wanted him to forget about his misery, at least for a handful of minutes, and to be safe in his arms.

He proceeded, kissing his well-defined abs, tracing every line with his lips and tongue, spending some time around the navel’s area, making Luhan squirm. Just below, right above his crotch, his skin was like velvet, creamy and incredibly soft to the touch.

Without breaking the contact between his mouth and Luhan’s body, Sehun raised his gaze to meet the boy’s eyes, asking for permission. Luhan’s fingers tangled into his hair while he helped him taking off his trousers and underwear. He could not resist and let his hands run over Luhan’s strong legs, from his ankles to his thighs. He smelled like soap and cleanliness, but his body gave off a distinct musk which made his head spin. 

He kissed his knee, following a path on the internal part of his thigh, feeling the muscle flex under his lips. He was still wearing the school uniform, which made him feel hot and formed a barrier between his body and Luhan’s wonderful skin, so he parted from his lover just to get rid of it. He let his clothes fell carelessly on the floor, he didn’t care. When he was finally naked, he stretched to reach Luhan’s lips with his mouth, and doing this his body pressed flush on the smaller boy’s one. The sensation was maddening.

«I want you to know» Sehun murmured, against Luhan’s lips, «that I love you.» 

Luhan’s eyes widened, but Sehun pressed a finger on his mouth, preventing him from freaking out. «Just listen, please. Let me explain.»

He shuddered because he felt a little cold, and Luhan instinctively wrapped his arms around him, holding him closer. Sehun thought he could melt on him.

«When I wake up in the morning, I think of you. During the day, at night when I go to bed, while I sleep, it’s the same. Nothing can eradicate you from my head. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes not. Like... when you cry, it’s so painful. But when you smile...» he choked, suddenly at a loss of words, tears threatening to fall down at any time, «when you smile, my heart swells. I fell blessed to be by your side. So...» he paused, staring directly in those bright black eyes, «so please, I’m begging you. Accept my love, don’t turn me down. I promise you’ll be safe with me. I’ll never make you cry.»

Luhan kept staring at him, eyes glossy with tears. Sehun kissed him again, and he could feel Luhan’s hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer while he kissed him back. 

«Luhan» he murmured, suddenly shy, «I’ve never touched a boy before. How do you want me to do it?»

Luhan showed him, putting his hands on his body, letting him know the way he liked being caressed. Sehun was a little surprised by his decisiveness. «Are you sure?» But his lovers’ delicate fingers were already making him see stars, so he grabbed his hand, adjusting to be on top of him, right between Luhan’s legs.

He took his member in his fingers, feeling its weight and texture. He thought it was soft and palpitating, and that it stirred under his fingertips as if it was a living thing. He touched it the way Luhan showed him, making him sigh and arch his back on the mattress.

He kissed it around the base, where Luhan’s little sparse curls tickled his nose, then along the shaft until the very point. Pulling the skin, he exposed the already weeping head, putting it into his mouth without hesitation. It tasted salty, but not unpleasant. He wrapped his fingers around the length, pumping slowly but steadily, trying to set a rhythm along with the movement of his lips. At first it felt weird, maybe he was too concentrate on what he was doing, but then he put less mind and more heart in it, raising his eyes to see Luhan trash around, caught in the helpless pleasure he was giving him.

He felt, more than see, the boy orgasm crash over him. It began with a series of shivers, while his belly hollowed out and his limbs contracted. He managed to pull his rigid member out of his mouth just to avoid it spilling its semen on his tongue. He stroked it until it stopped spurting out, teasing the slit with his thumb.

When everything was over, he stretched out to reach Luhan’s lips with his own. The boy was lying spent, his chest heaving, but he responded to him with passion.

«No» Sehun murmured, gently pushing away Luhan’s hand, which was already reaching for his member, «please, can’t we just stay like this for a while?»

And Luhan smiled, scooping closer to let Sehun hug him tight.


	8. Developments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pray for France, guys. :(

«Today I got another present from my mysterious secret admirer» Baekhyun announced, proud. He was wearing an apron and he was busy chopping carrots. Sehun was next to him, cutting onions, and he kept blinking because of the tears in his eyes. 

«What was it?»

«A bottle of perfume» the other chirped, shoving his wrist in front of Sehun’s nose. «Like it?»

«Eww» Sehun pushed him away. « _Roses_.» But Baekhyun was happy. 

«I love it. And I love this person, whoever he might be. I wonder why he’s keeping his identity a secret, though.»

Sehun shrugged. «Maybe he’s shy.» _Or a stalker. Or a serial killer._

«What if he’s someone I know?!» Baekhyun suddenly yelled, excited. «Oh my God. I know I’m too pretty for my own sake, but _this_! I am not ready for this!»

«Ready for what, Baek? And please, stop swinging that knife around, or you’ll going to stab yourself.»

«Sorry, sorry.» The boy resumed his task, but he was still smiling like an idiot. Honestly, even if he was still suspicious, Sehun was glad this so-called admirer made his appearance. His little, anonymous gifts helped Baekhyun feel better when his self esteem was lower than ever.  
«Okay, done» he said, when he finished with the onions. «What are we supposed to do now?»

Kyungsoo checked the recipe. «We should put everything in the pot with the chopped celery and bacon. Then, we have to drizzle some oil on top and let it cook for a while. Kai, you stir it, just do it carefully and pay attention it doesn’t burn.»

The half-Japanese guy smiled and started stirring with a big wooden spoon. The Bolognese sauce was Kyungsoo’s idea. When they finally gathered together to decide what to do for Yi Fan’s farewell party, they all agreed to cook something tasty together, taking advantage of the fact that Yi Fan was busy away of the foster home, checking something at the apartment where he was going to live. The short boy, being a notorious good cook, took the lead of the group. Xiumin was silently watching them from a corner, apparently working on his laptop but glancing to them from time to time. Sehun hoped he would get the chance to talk to him about Luhan’s situation again. He was sorry for the way he bitched to him the day before, but he was still determined to convince the man about the righteousness of his ideas.

While the boys watched, Kyungsoo added some minced meat in the pot, he let it darken a little, then he poured some white wine on top. It smelled so good that Sehun’s mouth began to water.

«Add the diced tomatoes only when the wine’s fully evaporated» Kyungsoo instructed Kai, before checking again his cooking book. «Now, on with the stew. Joonmyeon and Yixing, you cut the sausages. Chanyeol, you peel and core the tomatoes. Sehun and Luhan, you prepare the other vegetables...»

«Onions again» Sehun groaned, making Luhan smile. The boy took the onions from his hands and started to peel them, while Sehun gladly accepted to shell the beans. 

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. He loved everything about Luhan: his long and delicate fingers, the little frown on his face, the beads of sweat on his forehead (the kitchen was beginning to feel hot and crowded) and the way he stuck out the tip of his tongue when he was concentrated doing something. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. 

«Please, guys, not here» Baekhyun rolled his eyes at them. «Watch your hormones.»

«Look who’s talking» Chanyeol mocked him. «The one who lost his mind for a few cheap gifts.»

«I didn’t lose my mind!» 

Kyungsoo glared at them. «No fighting over my food.» 

«Okay, okay.»

Tao was sitting next to Luhan, drinking tea from a cup and watching them without moving a finger. When Baekhyun noticed that he could have been of some help instead of sulking in a corner, he _growled_ at him, and for a second Sehun seriously feared for Baekhyun’s life. Thankfully, Xiumin noticed the Chinese boy’s distress and called him over to help with some documents.

«Good» Kyungsoo approved, when the stew was bubbling on the stove, «now we just have to fill in and dress the cake.»

«I’m so doing it!» Baekhyun volunteered.

«Okay» the short boy approved. «You can do it. Just make sure the layer of cream in the middle is even and that the frosting is spread properly. Then you can put on the sugar decorations.»

Baekhyun was as happy as a kid on Christmas’ day while he followed Kyungsoo’s instructions, and Sehun turned to Chanyeol. «We aren’t of any use here. Shall we ask Chen if we can go out to get a present for Yi Fan?»

«You can go only if Chen comes with you» Xiumin recommended to them. 

«Oh well. It will be nice, for once, doing something normal even if we have an adult babysitting us like toddlers.»

Chanyeol sounded bitter, and Sehun looked at him. He still wasn’t over the conversation they shared about Baekhyun, and he couldn’t really understand why the tall boy looked in a bad mood, almost depressed. He had the feeling Yi Fan’s imminent leave was not the only reason behind his sudden change.

When they tried to get Tao involved, he just refused.

\---oOo---

«I think I have to apologize for the way I talked to you yesterday» Sehun told him, later, when they got out of the van and waited for Chen to park the car. 

«It’s okay» the other replied, shrugging. «I’ve already forgotten about it.»

«Are you sure?»

Chen returned after feeding the meter, then the boys walked into the mall. Luhan looked extremely happy to be there, and Sehun was happy to see the boy’s eyes light in excitement in front of the shop windows. Besides going to school and some rare visits outside, it wasn’t so frequent for them to go shopping or hang out in a different place than the foster home. He liked Xiumin and Chen’s house... but he began to think that it felt a little suffocating.

«Yeah» Chanyeol said, running a hand through his hair. «You just told the truth, and I got mad at you. I’m sorry.»

«Then... why do you look so sad, if I may ask?»

The other sighed and turned to look at a clothes’ shop window. «He might like this kind of stuff. We should go inside.»

Luhan noticed it too, and he was almost jumping up and down around Sehun to get his attention. «Okay» he agreed, feeling a sudden rush of happiness when Luhan grabbed his hand and dragged him inside the shop, holding his hand casually while he looked through the clothes exposed on the hangers. A few people eyed them oddly, but the shop assistants were all young girls in their twenties, and glanced at them with bright smiles. Sehun stroked Luhan’s hand with his thumb, feeling the luckiest man in the world.

Chanyeol found a nice leather jacket with metal studs on the pockets, and Sehun thought it matched Yi Fan’s style, but Luhan didn’t look convinced. They patiently followed him while he rummaged through a pile of shirts and pants, putting some aside but without finding what he was looking for.

«May I help you, guys?» one of the cute shop assistants asked them, and Luhan stared at her, taken aback.

«He can’t talk» Sehun immediately rushed to his aid, «I’ll try guessing what he’s looking for.»

Luhan pointed at the pile of shirts he was sorting through. «A shirt. Long sleeved.»

The Chinese boy showed to the girl a dark one and then a white one, discarding the second with a scowl. «Dark-coloured...» Sehun went on, trying to interpret his gestures, «with a nice and peculiar writing or pattern, I think?» 

The girl smiled at Sehun, bringing another pile of clothes. «Are you guys a couple? Because you look so cute together.»

Sehun blushed and began to stutter, while Luhan smiled brightly. 

«Well, it escalated quickly, guys» Chen laughed from the door, watching them with his arms crossed. «Isn’t being young a wonderful thing?»

Sehun’s cheeks were still burning, but Luhan looked concentrated on the shirts the girl was showing him. In the end, he picked a dark purple one, with a complicate figure of a golden dragon in the front. 

«Wow» Sehun commented, «it’s really gorgeous! Your taste is flawless.»

«The price is too» Chanyeol added, checking the tag, «but thanks God we’re sharing with the others.»

They asked the shop assistant to wrap the item in some nice paper, then they paid and greeted before leaving the shop. 

«Can we take a look around, Chen?» Sehun asked, while Luhan clung to his arm, all big pleading eyes. The man burst out laughing.

«Sure that you can, guys! And I suggest stopping at an ice-cream place before returning home.»

Sehun laughed happily. He loved Chen. 

They walked around, looking at the shop windows and chatting. Chanyeol still looked gloomy, and he soon detached from them to go have a look into a bookshop, followed by Chen. Sehun and Luhan waited for them outside, sitting on a bench while Sehun played an online game on his phone. Soon, Luhan was resting his head on his shoulder, staring at the screen, his hand casually stroking Sehun’s knee. It felt so good, being out of the foster home, Sehun thought. It felt so good, being there, just the two of them, as if it was a real date...

The mere thought made him blush again.

«We’re back» Chen announced, swatting the back of Sehun’s head. «Looks like you guys weren’t missing us at all.»

Sehun noticed Chanyeol was holding a plastic bag. «Did you buy something nice?»

The other shrugged. «Nothing important.»

«Come on, let me see!»

«I said» the other insisted, clutching at the bag as if it was full of gold, «it’s nothing!»

«Don’t fight, guys» Chen blandly reproached them. «So, are you still up for that ice-cream?»

Sehun chose a frozen yoghurt, but he couldn’t really appreciate the taste, since he kept glancing at Chanyeol, who looked more than a little weird. The lively boy who talked to him on his first day at the foster home was almost unrecognizable. He excused himself to Luhan, while he approached Chen.

«Chen» he whispered, «I think something’s wrong with Chanyeol.»

«I know, Sehun» the assistant murmured back, with a soft smile, «I’ve already talked to him when we were at the bookshop. It’s something he needs to fix on his own.»

«May I be of some help?»

The other hunched his shoulders. «Not really» he replied. «Just be patient with him.»

Sehun gulped down a spoonful of yoghurt, lost in his thoughts, and he almost choked himself when Luhan suddenly grabbed his elbow. «Ow! What are you doing?» 

The Chinese boy’s face was twisted in fear, and Sehun turned to see what scared him. The ice-cream place was crowded, full of families and young boys and girls waiting in line. He saw nothing wrong, so he patted Luhan’s head to comfort him. «Calm down, everything is okay.» 

Luhan frantically shook his head, pointing at something outside of the shop window. 

«What’s wrong?» Chen asked.

«I’m not sure» Sehun replied, «I think something scared him.»

The assistant stared at the people gathering outside, and Sehun noticed that his usual relaxed attitude turned suddenly careful. «Let’s get back home» he said.

«Why? What did you see?»

«Nothing» Chen murmured, «just stay behind me and don’t look back. Everything will be alright.»

Sehun did what he was told. He was beginning to feel really scared and he held onto Luhan, pulling him closer. 

«I think I saw a group of foreigners staring at us» Chanyeol whispered to him. «They looked Chinese to me.»

Sehun’s heart sank. What if Xiumin was right, he thought, what if Luhan’s uncle already found out he was hidden in Korea and sent people to look for him? 

«Keep calm, guys» Chen encouraged them, walking steadily. «I’ll protect you, don’t worry.»

They entered the parking lot, almost running. Chen fumbled with the van’s keys and opened the door, letting the boys in. Sehun dared to glance behind his back just once, and indeed, there were four people he already noticed outside of the ice-cream place who were definitely following them. One of them detached from the group and joined Chen, holding a cigarette.

«Excuse me» he said, with a heavy accent, «do you have a light?»

Chen smiled nervously. «No, I’m sorry, I don’t smoke. Also, I’m in a hurry. Goodbye.»

«Oh, come on» the guy insisted, showing his yellowish teeth, «I’m asking politely. I’m sure at least one of these pretty boys smokes.» And he glanced inside of the van, staring at Luhan in a way that made Sehun freeze in fear. Then, he said something in Chinese.

Chen entered the van with a quick move, immediately locking the doors. «Hold yourself, guys.»

He turned the key, switching the engine on, then he drove away making the tires squeak on the asphalt. Sehun watched anxiously as the guy who approached them backed off to avoid being hit and immediately went to his mates.

«Chen» he asked, «who were those people?» 

«Don’t worry, Sehun» the man replied, taking an abrupt turn.

«They’re following us!» Chanyeol announced, spotting a silver-coloured sedan approach them quickly. Sehun hugged Luhan tight, because he was shaking. 

Chen checked the rear-view mirror. «Fuck» he mumbled, and Sehun was sure they were in deep shit, since he never heard the man curse before. 

Chen turned again, then took a narrow road before turning again. They were distancing themselves from the foster home, and Sehun believed he was trying to ditch their followers. He held onto Luhan, putting his lips over his forehead, trying to make him calm down. «Easy, easy» he murmured, «don’t be like this. You heard him... Chen said he’s going to protect us.»

His head was spinning: Xiumin was right. Those men were obviously after Luhan, and they looked dangerous. It was like in one of those mafia movies, except that everything was real. He felt ashamed for the arrogant way he talked to the kind psychologist... he only told the truth, since they were only a small bunch of ants trying to raise their heads in front of a giant who wanted nothing but crushing them.

Sehun’s stomach hurt, while Chen kept driving at crazy speed from an alley to the other. 

«I can’t see them anymore» Chanyeol said, sounding relieved.

«Good» the man replied, his voice shaky. He didn’t slow down, though, reaching the foster home from the rear entrance. «Call Xiumin» he instructed Sehun, «tell him to open the gate and let us in immediately.»

He was panting heavily, and the boy looked at him, worried. «Are you okay?»

«Do it» Chen said, breathless, clutching the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. «Quick.»

Sehun dialled Xiumin’s number, his heart tight, while Chen was gasping for air. Luckily, the psychologist picked up after only a beep on the line.

«Why did it take so long? Where are you?»

«Open the gate immediately» Sehun almost shouted, while Chen let out a strained sound, «Chen is unwell!»

«I’m coming» the man replied, shutting the call. The heavy gate, more than a little rusty, was smashed open, while Xiumin appeared on the threshold, his face a mask of worry.

«Jongdae!» He cried out, when Chen managed to drive inside the court, half-collapsed on the wheel. The man’s face was almost gray, and the sight of his colourless lips made Sehun turn into a statue, while he just stood out of the car, unmoving, and Xiumin rushed to his husband. The psychologist rustled into Chen’s handbag, getting a tiny bottle of aspirin out. His hands were shaking so much that he struggled to uncap it and extract a couple pills that he shoved in his husband’s mouth, massaging his throat to help him gulp the medicine down. Sehun watched, feeling dizzy, remembering that once, on TV, some doctor said that aspirin could help saving people on the verge of an heart attack. Chen told previously that he had an heart disease... but he would have never thought it was this serious.

«Go get the bottle of pills on Chen’s bed table» Xiumin ordered to him. «Run!»

Luckily, Sehun’s feet were quicker than his mind, because they moved on them own, leading him into the couple bedroom. It was simple, almost austere, and a big stain of mould was clearly visible on the ceiling, but Sehun didn’t have the time to look around. He grabbed the brown bottle of medicine he saw on one of the two bed tables, then he rushed outside, where Chen was making long, hissing sounds trying his best to breathe.

«Here» Xiumin murmured, handing to him two pills from the bottle, «take it.»

Chen swallowed it with difficulty, but he seemed to relax almost immediately afterwards. He coughed and gasped, leaning over his husband’s chest. Xiumin hugged him tight, pressing his cheek on his head.

«What happened?» he inquired, eyes full of anger. Sehun couldn’t stand his gaze, and lowered his eyes immediately.

«Some Chinese guys started to follow us at the mall» Chanyeol replied, pale. «They were after Luhan. Chen managed to ditch them, but then he started to be sick...»

«He cannot bear strong emotions» Xiumin shouted. «What if he lost control of the car? What if you all crashed on a tree or whatever? I knew it was a bad idea, letting you out of the foster home, I knew it!»

«Don’t yell at the kids, Minseok» Chen whispered, his voice hoarse and broken. «They were scared too.»

But Xiumin shook his head, mad furious. «I knew it. There are forces we can’t fight... we just can’t no matter how hard we try...» He held the other man, rocking slightly back and forth. On the rear door threshold, Tao, Baekhyun and a couple other boys were staring at them.

«Let’s go in, you have to rest» Xiumin said, getting a hold of himself. He helped Chen on his feet, then he ushered him inside, half carrying and half dragging him. Tao helped him without asking anything, swinging Chen’s arm over his shoulders.

«Sehun» Chanyeol asked, worried, «are you okay? You look... shaken.»

«I am» Sehun confirmed, noticing that he had been holding Luhan’s hand for the whole time. The Chinese boy looked overwhelmed, almost catatonic, and he barely reacted to the chaos surrounding him. 

«Here» Kyungsoo appeared next to them, holding two big glass of water. Sehun gulped it down greedily, feeling incredibly thirsty. Luhan sipped on it carefully, eyes slightly unfocused.

«Maybe we should postpone the party» Yixing suggested, in one of his rare exploits, «the atmosphere isn’t exactly appropriate.»

«But the food’s ready» Joonmyeon made him notice, «as well as the present and everything else...»

«I think we should ask Tao» Kai said. «Let’s hear from him first, then we decide.»

They all agreed, and waited nervously for the blond Chinese to come back. Sehun sat on a chair along with Luhan, because his knees felt a little wobbly. He was feeling a weird mixture among scared, angry and guilty. «Did you see those guys before?» he asked Luhan, even if the reply was pretty obvious.

The boy nodded, closing his eyes. 

«Are them perhaps... your uncle’s henchmen?»

Luhan blinked at Sehun’s words, but he nodded again. 

«And why do you think they were following us? To kidnap you?»

Luhan looked at him, exhausted, and the message in his pretty eyes was clear enough. _Please, no more questions._ But Sehun wanted to know.

«How come they found us at the mall? Did you notice them before?»

Luhan paled, and Sehun suddenly felt very, very angry. 

Betrayed, almost.

«You _knew_ they were after you and you said nothing?!»

«Sehun, calm down!» Baekhyun barged in, worried. «There’s no need to get angry...»

But Sehun wasn’t listening. «I acted like a fool in front of Xiumin, trying to stand for you» he whispered, so furious he could barely talk, «you knew we were in danger and you dragged us outside the same? Chen could have died.»

A big, heavy tear rolled down Luhan’s cheek, followed by another, but Sehun couldn’t stop. «Oh, no! It’s no use crying like a baby, right now. You played with our lives! You should have told us about the risks we were taking bringing you outside.»

«Sehun, he can’t talk» Baekhyun desperately tried to make him reason. «How could he tell?»

«Excuse me, guys» Sehun rigidly said, «I need to see Xiumin right now and apologize for my idiotic behaviour.»

«You come with me» Chanyeol said, grabbing Sehun’s elbow and dragging him away. Sehun got a glimpse of Luhan silently sobbing in Baekhyun’s arms before Chanyeol shoved him into the common room, shutting the door. «Have you completely lost your mind? What’s the use of yelling at him like this? As if it’s really his fault.»

«Were you there or not?» Sehun hissed. «He fucking acted as if everything was okay even if he perfectly knew those people were after him—AH!» Sehun put his hand on his right cheek, which burned. Chanyeol had slapped him across his face to make him stop ranting. 

«Yes» he said, actually shaking with rage, «and do you know what? He did it because he wanted to stay with you. To spend a normal afternoon with you in a nice place that for once is not this fucking house. He isn’t an idiot, I’m sure he knew those people were keeping an eye on him but he sincerely didn’t think they could get violent. He just hoped everything would work, for once. Do you seriously blame him for this?» 

Sehun had to admit he didn’t consider things from that point of view. Also, he didn’t realize his eyes were full of tears, and that his vision was getting blurry. Seeing the state he was in, Chanyeol let go, sighing.

«Sehun, if you really love him» he said, «you should really consider that Luhan underwent a terrible trauma, and he’s still dealing with the aftermath of it. You really shouldn’t be so eager to lecture him. I’m sure Chen isn’t angry at him, and Xiumin neither. Luhan needs you more than ever, now... and I believe you don’t really think the terrible things you told him, do you?»

The scare, the distress and the sense of guilt took over. Sehun broke down, crying hard. «Why can’t it be normal? Why has it to be like this?»  
Chanyeol shook his head, patting his shoulder. «I have no idea, bro. I know the feeling... and I really have no idea.»

\---oOo---

Luckily, Chen’s condition improved quickly. Episodes like that actually occurred to him from time to time, usually when he got too worked up about something. 

«I found out I suffered of a heart disease when I was told for the first time how much I was supposed to spend to buy this place» the man laughed, elbowing Xiumin who was sitting by his side, «do you remember?»

«Yeah» the psychologist said, taking a mouthful of the cake Baekhyun put so many efforts on, «I remember very well. Thanks God I learned quite quickly how to deal with your attacks.»

«It’s nothing too serious, guys, really» Chen added, smiling warmly to the boys sitting around the table, «it sucks depending on meds so much, but I must admit they work wonders. I feel okay right now.»

Sehun nodded, forcing himself to gulp down the cake which tasted like ash to him. In the end, Tao convinced them to throw the party the same, since Chen looked to be better and it would be a real shame wasting all that food. When Yi Fan returned at the foster home, they all waited for him in the common room, shouting “surprise!” and cheering loud. The dinner was a success, the food was delicious and Kyungsoo got many compliments that made him blush. Sehun wasn’t really in the mood for partying, but he decided Yi Fan deserved to see smiling faces instead of sulking ones. Luhan avoided him for the whole evening, sitting amidst of the Chinese group as he did before meeting him.

After eating, they gave Yi Fan his present, the purple shirt chosen by Luhan, and the tall boy’s face lit up when he saw it. «It’s wonderful! Thank you guys.»

«And here’s my present» Tao suddenly added, stepping forward holding something in his hand. He unceremoniously took Yi Fan’s big hand in his own, making the silver ring slide on the boy’s left ring finger. _«Wo ai ni.»_

Yi Fan’s face contorted for a moment, and Sehun averted his gaze, because he really didn’t want to see him cry, but suddenly the tall boy’s face stilled in a smile, while he leaned over to gently kiss Tao on his lips.

The boys began to cheer and clap their hands, and they went almost crazy when Yi Fan lifted a very shocked Tao off the ground and made him spin around like a kid. Sehun smiled. They were cute together... they perfectly fit each other. They were going to be a nice couple.

Later, he helped Xiumin clean the table. «I’m sorry for the way I talked to you yesterday» he murmured.

«And I’m sorry you had to realize you were wrong in the rudest way» the psychologist replied, with a tired face. «Please, never scare me like this again, Sehun, okay? We all need to take care of ourselves.»

Sehun felt his eyes swell with tears again, and he gladly accepted the warm hug of the psychologist. He was slowly turning into a cry baby... and thinking that he used to be called a cold guy, before coming to the foster home.

The most difficult apologies, though, waited for him in his room. Luhan was already under the covers, his head slightly hidden beneath the pillow, and he looked asleep. Sehun knew him enough to be sure he wasn’t, but he really couldn’t blame him, if he didn’t feel like talking to him in that moment.

«I’ll say just one thing» he murmured, while he got ready for bed, «I’m sorry. For everything. I never got this scared in my whole life, and I lost my mind. Please, forgive me for being a big-mouthed idiot.» He slipped under the covers too, adjusting against the pillow, feeling a bitter flavour on his tongue. «I love you» he added, after a long pause.

For a while, he waited, hoping that Luhan would show some sign of understanding, but silence was the only answer he got. He closed his eyes, drained, wishing that he would fall asleep quickly and forget about that stressful day.

It was still the dead of the night, when Sehun blinked his eyes open, hearing a rustling sound. He turned on the mattress, straining to see in the darkness. «Luhan? Are you okay?»

He felt a rush of cold when the boy lifted up the covers to get into his bed. Relieved, Sehun gladly opened his arms and hugged him tight. Luhan’s body was warm, but the boy was trembling and his hands were icy cold.

«Hush, baby» Sehun murmured, blowing on Luhan’s hands to make them warm, «don’t worry. Close your eyes... it’s still late.»

They fell asleep in the small hours of the morning, holding each other.


	9. Taking important steps

Sehun was gloomy. School was always a nuisance to him, but this one was even worse. Except for Baekhyun, he genuinely disliked pretty much everyone of his fellow classmates, and for what concerned the teachers...

«Sehun?» the History teacher called him, «can you read for us?»

He stood and did as he was told. He hated reading aloud, because feeling people’s eyes on him made his lisp come out, and he could see glimpses of the other boys and girls stifling their giggles. He hated being made fun of. 

Thankfully, the class was over in a few minutes, and Sehun had to read just a short paragraph. When the bell rang, he found it the best sound in the world.

«I can’t wait to check my locker» Baekhyun excitedly told him. «I still haven’t, since we arrived a little late and I was afraid we could miss the roll call. What’s next class?»

Sehun checked their table. «Maths.»

«Damn» Baekhyun cursed. «I let Yixing borrow my book because he couldn’t find his one, that guy’s always losing his stuff. I’m going to retrieve it in a flash... can you check my locker for me?»

Sehun frowned. «Why should I?»

Baekhyun fluttered his eyelashes to him, handing the key. «Because you’re a darling.»

Sehun huffed, while the other smiled and ran into Yixing’s classroom. He might have stopped wearing makeup and accessories at school, but he still held his unique and slightly feminine aura. It really was part of him, Sehun thought, while he stood and went into the corridor, stretching lazily. He would have rather going into Luhan’s classroom, but it was far from his one. Also, he was dead curious to see what kind of junk would the so called “secret admirer” put in his friend’s locker that day. It quickly became an habit, for Baekhyun, to check his locker every morning to find always different gifts: accessories, cosmetics, small clothing items (once he found a neatly folded fuchsia-coloured tank top)... the dude who kept giving him those things seemed to really know Baekhyun’s taste. Sehun was only hoping it wasn’t just a cruel joke of some sort.

He walked quickly, stopping to his locker to put some books away, and he suddenly saw Chanyeol appearing at the end of the corridor. He was about to wave at him, when he saw him stopping right in front of Baekhyun’s locker. 

Sehun hid behind the open shutter, hoping his friend wouldn’t realize about his presence. He watched silently as Chanyeol opened Baekhyun’s locker with a spare key (did Baekhyun know he had one?) and slipped a small plastic bag inside. He recognized it: it sported the logo of the bookshop he visited along with Chen at the mall. 

Chanyeol didn’t waste time, locking the shutter and walking away quickly, acting nonchalant but actually glancing around to see if someone saw him. Sehun stayed put, thinking. Everything made sense now: the cosmetics and the accessories came from the small shop right outside the school, as well as the clothes. Baekhyun’s mysterious admirer was nobody else than his roommate.

He grabbed his phone, texting Tao. _Can you skip next class? I really need to talk to you about something._

The Chinese boy replied immediately. _Okay. Let’s meet at the library in the Classics section._

He walked into the library, hoping Baekhyun wouldn’t freak out because of his sudden absence in the classroom. Tao was waiting for him sitting on a chair, his ankles crossed on the edge of the table. It looked like he had been there since the very first class of the day, Sehun thought. He even wore sunglasses to get a shield from the sunrays bathing the library, so he’d probably dozed off until that moment.

«What’s the matter?» he asked. «Someone bothered you again?»

Sehun dragged a chair near. «I know who’s leaving all those present for Baekhyun in his locker.»

Tao narrowed his eyes. «And who is it?»

«Chanyeol.»

The other snorted. «Predictable.»

«He’s been acting weird lately... and now this.» Sehun paused, confused. «Doesn’t make sense. He told me very clearly that he isn’t into boys and that he couldn’t reciprocate Baekhyun’s attentions.»

«Maybe he just felt sorry for Baekhyun» Tao replied, matter-of-factly. 

«But why the need to mislead him like this? I think it’s a little cruel of him.»

Tao straightened his back to face him. «Listen, Sehun, you’re a good guy but you really need to stop judging people so quickly.»

Sehun lowered his gaze. «I apologize. But when Baekhyun finds out, he’ll feel betrayed and worse than before. I’d like to spare him from this.»

«I agree. Also, it’s frustrating seeing those two walk in circles around each other without being able to tell their real feelings.»

«What do you mean?»

«You’re so naive sometimes it’s just plain unnerving» Tao said, crossing his arms. «Baekhyun is in love with Chanyeol since forever, and Chanyeol is too... but he’s too scared to admit. His past experience is too heavy of a burden to simply shrug it off.»

«Oh» Sehun commented, blinking. Tao sighed.

«I’m not saying it just because of the presents which, by the way, it was obvious Chanyeol was the author of, since he’s the only one of us who had access at the keys of Baekhyun’s locker. It’s something that has been going on since a lot of time, way before you came, actually. Those two are made for each other, but they’re too stubborn to recognize it. Both of them. Chanyeol because he’s dead scared of getting intimate with a male, Baekhyun because he’s a little hopeless drama queen who loves living in a soap-opera. Sometimes I really wish I could knock some sense in those two blockheads.»

Sehun shook his head, at a loss for words. «I feel so sorry for them» he admitted, softly. «I’ve grown attached to Baekhyun, he’s a good friend to me. He has his perks, but I hated seeing him so hurt when he was bullied. Also, he helped me many times. I wish I could do something...»

Tao lifted his sunglasses to look at Sehun, and he saw that the Chinese’s gaze turned stern. «You shouldn’t nose in, if you get what I mean.»

«But...»

«It’s something they need to fix on their own, period.»

«I guess you’re right.» 

Tao sighed. «Oh fuck. Don’t get all depressed now or you’ll end to infect me.»

Sehun chuckled. «Sorry.»

«Did you hear from your family lately?»

«Not really. I mean, after what happened in the last few days, I didn’t really tried calling my mom again.» He kind of forgot about it, actually. And he barely thought about his father. How was he doing at the clinic? He wasn’t so keen asking his mother, who didn’t seem to know much anyway. He felt a little guilty for neglecting his parents but hey, weren’t they neglecting their son as well? 

«I’ve never missed my parents since I came to the foster home» Tao suddenly revealed, «not even once. I don’t need them.»

Sehun shrugged. «You’re different than me. I’m afraid I’m a spoiled kid, after all.»

«Or maybe your family has its flaws but it’s a normal one, and you act like a normal son.»

«Wasn’t your family... normal?»

The question stayed suspended, unanswered for long time, before Tao finally spoke. «No» he said. «My father threw my mother and me out of his house when I was five, and she had to depend on my godfather who accepted us into his family. But he was a real asshole—he really hated me, you know. He would waste no occasion to slap me or worse. Once he used a leather belt and a pair of military boots, he cracked my ribs and I fainted. It was that time, that the social services decided to send me abroad, because sooner or later that man would have killed me.»

Sehun was speechless. «But... your mom...»

«If she’s okay staying with that loser» Tao hissed, «why should I care?»

«God in Heavens.»

«Call your mom, when we get home» Tao advised him, «and tell her about what happened in these last few days.»

«Uh... that’s a lot of things to tell.»

«She’s your mom» Tao stated, matter-of-factly, «she needs to know her son met the love of his life.»

Sehun’s head was about to blow up like a bomb. He didn’t understand what Tao really meant until he told him clearly. «It’s not so easy, I’ve never really told her I am gay.»

Tao yawned. «She won’t beat you, come on. She’s not even here.»

«Very funny. I just thought you were referring to the dangerous situation we found ourselves mingled into.»

«If you want to stay with Luhan, you have to deal with it, Sehun.»

«Well» Sehun added, after a while, «I’ll just tell my mom I found a boyfriend, for the moment.»

Tao laughed, patting his shoulder. «You really are a funny one.»

Later, Sehun gave Baekhyun the bag he found in his locker. The boy was happy to find inside the last novel from his favourite author, and Sehun watched silently as he showed it to the others on their way home, while they were all sitting in Chen’s van. Chanyeol was in the front, on the passenger’s seat, and he politely smiled when Baekhyun showed the book to him, but he said nothing. Sehun could see the pain hidden beneath his smiling face, and he felt bad for him. 

He told the whole story to Luhan, later, in their room. «I hate being so helpless» he complained. «Those two are in love with each other... but they are too scared to mess everything up.»

Luhan pursed his lips together and looked away. They were both sitting on Sehun’s bed, and Luhan’s head was tucked under Sehun’s chin, who was hugging him. «Do you think I should talk to them? Tao said it’d be better if I minded my own business.»

Luhan faced him, putting his hands on Sehun’s shoulders, then he shook his head with a fierce expression. «Okay okay, I won’t do anything» Sehun surrendered, touching his forehead to Luhan’s. 

«I was thinking to come out to my mother» he said, after a long pause. Luhan stared at him, his dark pupils sucking him in like always. Sehun caressed the boy’s hair, trying to explain the reason why he felt the need to do such a bold move. «I fully realized about my own sexuality when I came here and I met you. I already kind of knew I preferred boys to girls, but I never got in contact with someone who made me feel... you know.» He was already stumbling with words, his lisp twisting his tongue, and he felt awkward. «I... I am glad you came into my life, and since I love my mom very much, I’d like to be frank to her.»

Luhan smiled, leaning over to kiss Sehun’s cheek. 

«Are you okay with this?» Sehun asked, hopeful, and his heart swelled when Luhan smiled again, nodding. He fished for his phone on the bed table, dialling his mother’s number in a flash.

His heart was pounding, and he was also slightly sweating. Being sincere was a good thing... but what if the news made his mother freak out? Surely, Sehun suddenly thought, his father wouldn’t approve of his only son dating a boy. He stared at the screen, hesitating. He really didn’t want to push the green button, now.

Gently, Luhan tapped the screen of his phone with his fingertip, selecting the video call mode. «Uh, I don’t think it’s such a good idea anymore...» Sehun stuttered, but the line was already beeping.

«Honey!» his mother greeted him, appearing on the screen, blonde and smiling. «How’re you doing?»

Seeing his mother’s face made Sehun feel instantly good. He couldn’t believe he missed her so much. «Hello mom. I’m good, as you can see.»

«I’m glad» the woman replied. She looked pretty, and Sehun liked her new haircut and style. 

«Mom?»

«Yes, sweetie?»

«I actually called you because I wanted to introduce someone to you.»

«Oh» the woman said, her smile faltering a little. «And who is it? A friend of yours?»

Sehun moved the phone so Luhan could be seen from the camera. «Remember Luhan, my roommate?»

The Chinese boy waved, smiling shyly. «Sure that I remember» his mother confirmed, confused. «You already introduced us.»

«Well...» Sehun’s throat was dry, and he clutched at Luhan’s hand he was grabbing away from the camera. «Actually... things changed between us. More like, escalated.»

«What do you mean, honey?»

Sehun took a deep breath. Could he do it? Could he really do it? 

«Mom» he stated, «we’re in a relationship. He’s my boyfriend.»

He closed his eyes briefly, relieved. Saying it aloud lifted a burden from his shoulders, as if he had been carrying a stone until then. Also, Luhan was holding his hand, stroking his thumb on his fingers.

«Really, honey?» his mother inquired, in a neuter tone. Sehun tried to read through the woman’s body language and face, trying to understand if she was shaken by the news, but she didn’t look distressed. Not at all.

«Mom... what are you thinking right now? I was hesitant to tell you. I didn’t know if it would have made you feel bad...»

«Sehun» the woman interrupted him, shaking a curl away from her face, «what kind of mother do you think I am? It was clear to me that you weren’t into girls.»

Sehun pondered those words, shocked. «Did you say _clear_?»

«Yes, clear as glass» the woman confirmed, chuckling. «You never bothered introducing any of your girlfriends to me. Also, you always looked so miserable when you dated, that I seriously doubted you enjoyed their company. It’d be excessive saying that I’ve always suspected you were homosexual, but hey... it was in the air, honey. This is why I don’t look surprised. But you, how are you feeling right now?»

Sehun could barely think. His heart was pounding, his mind spinning in crazy circles. «I feel... grateful. And happy.» 

His mother laughed. «Isn’t your mom the coolest mom ever?»

Sehun laughed too, and he noticed that Luhan was smiling too. «You are indeed» he said, blowing a kiss at the camera. «I love you.»

«May I have a word with Luhan?» the woman unexpectedly asked. Sehun gave the phone to the Chinese boy, who took it into his hands and stared at the camera, a little awkwardly.

«Please, Luhan, take care of my Sehun» the woman recommended. «He’s clumsy, whimsical, quick to judge and I’m afraid also a little spoiled, but he’s a good boy. If you let him, he’ll cherish you and take care of you like a gentleman. Just be patient to him when’s stubborn, and everything will work out. Also, I would like to see you both when this crazy situation will be over. What about it?»

Luhan nodded, his cheeks slightly flushed. He looked happy, and Sehun barely noticed that his mother actually pointed out his most evident flaws to his boyfriend. He couldn’t believe his bliss, as he threw his arms around Luhan and pulled him closer for an enthusiastic hug. 

«Whoops» his mom laughed, «you don’t want your mom to see some inappropriate stuff, do you?»

«Thank you so much mom» Sehun repeated. «You’re the best mom in the world.»

They bad goodbye to each other, then Sehun ended the call. Luhan wrapped his arms around his neck, looking at him in a rather mischievous way.

«You’re perfectly right» Sehun murmured, pulling him closer for a kiss, «I should have done it ages ago.»

\---oOo---

«Congrats to the new happy couple» Baekhyun gloomily commented when Sehun told him the news. 

«What’s with the lack of enthusiasm?»

«I feel sad» Baekhyun mumbled, before reaching out with his arms. «Hug me please.»

«Aww.» Sehun hugged his friend, patting his head. As soon as he stepped into the foster home, Baekhyun would run into his room to change clothes and take the school uniform off, putting on his usual flashy clothes. He was in front of a beauty mirror putting on eyeliner, when Sehun joined him, eager to tell about his phone call with his mother. «What’s wrong, pretty boy?»

Baekhyun cheered up a little at the compliment. He loved being called pretty. «I was thinking about my suitor. He never bothered saying his name... he even never left a message or anything. What if it’s just a joke?»

Sehun sighed, sitting on the bed next to him. «You know the possibility exists» he said. «This is why we’re all telling you to be cautious towards this person. We still don’t know what he really wants.»

Baekhyun eyed him strangely. «Please tell me it’s not you.»

Sehun snorted. «Please, Baek. I haven’t known you enough to guess your favourite author.»

«I believe you.» The boy sat a little more comfortably next to him. «Still, I’ve started to think that it must be someone who’s close to me. I never told my personal preferences to anyone in school, well, besides clothing and accessories, I guess. Are you mad I suspected of you?»  
«Please, stop being so cute» Sehun told him, ruffling his hair, «or I’ll start considering cheating on Luhan.»

Baekhyun swatted his hand away, fixing his hair in front of the mirror. «As if.» But he looked glad Sehun didn’t take offense in his words.

Actually, Sehun was more than a little worried about that whole situation. Chanyeol was not in the room, but he could hear his guitar’s sound coming from Yixing’s room. Baekhyun wasn’t that far from guessing the name of his suitor. What would have happened if he guessed it right? Baekhyun was maybe a little slow, but he definitely was not an idiot.

«Listen» he said, waiting for his friend to raise his gaze and meet his eyes, «I think that this guy has really genuine feelings for you. Probably, he stays anonymous because he’s struggling with his own identity. Maybe he’s born in a conservative family, or he’s afraid of people’s judgment. You should give him a little more time.»

Baekhyun snorted. «You know what would be the funniest thing of all? Finding out that he’s a woman.»

Sehun started laughing like a mad man, and Baekhyun pouted, trying to push him away from the bed. «You’re so insensitive. Get out of here!» 

«Please, Baekhyun, never change. I love you so much.»

«Cheater.»

«Softie.»

The boy stuck out his tongue, and Sehun laughed again. 

«What’s with all the ruckus?» Chanyeol asked, coming in. «I could hear your cries from Yixing’s room.»

«Please, don’t tell me» Baekhyun huffed. «Still working on your sappy songs?» 

The tall boy nodded without commenting. He looked even gloomier than Baekhyun before. «I’m afraid so.»

Baekhyun resumed his work with the eyeliner. «Are you trying to get a girl?»

Sehun held his breath, waiting for the other’s reaction. He was afraid Chanyeol could get angry or start yelling, but all he did was start to laugh. He laughed and laughed, in front of his friends’ stunned faces, until tears started to spill. Sehun watched, his heart aching, as Chanyeol carefully leaned his guitar against the wall so that it couldn’t fall, then sat on his heels and cried like a baby.

«Oh my God» Baekhyun said, standing up, his face still half unmade, «I’m sorry, I didn’t mean... is it so bad?»

Chanyeol took his head between his hands, crying hard.

A word surfaced into Sehun’s mind, _traumatized_. That was hardly a normal reaction, even in a stressful situation. 

«I c-can’t» he stuttered, when Sehun knelt by his side, trying to comfort him, «I really can’t go on like this...»

«Like what?» Baekhyun asked, pale. «What on Earth is going on?»

«I think you should call Xiumin» Sehun suggested, hugging Chanyeol tightly, as the other bawled against his chest. «Please. He’s unwell.»

Baekhyun stayed motionless, looking with wide eyes at the boy he loved. «Baekhyun» Sehun called him again, «please.» In the end, the boy ran downstairs, shouting for the psychologist.

Sehun held Chanyeol until his crying subsided. Surprisingly, Chen appeared in the doorframe, followed by Baekhyun. The boy was carrying a big pitcher of warm tea with four cups, and the biggest bar of chocolate Sehun had ever seen. 

«Come here» Chen murmured, in a calming manner, helping Sehun lifting Chanyeol on his feet and leading him to a chair. Baekhyun poured the tea, pacing a cup between the boy’s big hands. 

«It’s jasmine, your favourite» he offered, trying his best to smile, but he was fighting back his tears. He was brave, Sehun thought. If Luhan would have sit broken in front of him like that, he would have lost it in a second. Baekhyun was way tougher than he looked.

Chanyeol took the tea, staring at it, avoiding the other’s gaze. He was trying to calm down, but his breath was still ragged. 

«Boys» Chen solemnly began, sitting on the edge of Chanyeol’s desk, «I’ve faced a few problems during my life, and I found out that the best solution when things get really shitty is eating chocolate until you feel sick.»

He pulled out a big chunk from the bar, starting to munch on it. Hesitatingly, Baekhyun did the same, passing a tiny bit to Chanyeol, which accepted it and put the candy into his mouth. Sehun didn’t know if it was better going, but Chen motioned at him to stay put.

«Better?» the man asked, smiling to Chanyeol, who nodded slightly. «Okay. Time for daddy Chen’s lecture, now.»

He sighed, massaging his forehead. «Guys» he said, «I think you really should be honest to each other. Baekhyun, do you have something to tell Chanyeol? Let’s play a little game. You say it taking turns, and your replies shall all begin with “I wish to tell Chanyeol (or Baekhyun)...”. Baek, you start.»

Sehun blinked. A little out of the blue, wasn’t it? Surely, Baekhyun and Chanyeol weren’t ready to confess to each other like that...

«I wish to tell Chanyeol that I’m worried for him» Baekhyun stated, very calmly. «That I see he’s in pain, but that I can’t seem to be of any help. I wish he would talk to me.»

Well, Sehun thought, that was a beginning. They all anxiously looked to Chanyeol, who was still chewing on his chocolate, his eyes full of tears.

«I wish to tell Baekhyun...» the boy whispered, his face twisting with the effort, «...that he really shouldn’t care about what people say about him. Because he’s... p-perfect the way he is.»

Baekhyun looked like he had been hit from a bus. He kept staring at Chanyeol, his mouth moving without producing any sound. He went into his closet and rummaged until he found all the clothes and accessories he found in his locker lately. «I wish to ask Chanyeol if he’s the one who’s giving me these things» he said, showing the items to him.

He sounded so hopeful, and Sehun found himself praying for everything to work out. He really wanted his friends to get together. He wanted them to finally find some happiness.

Chanyeol hesitated before answering. «I wish to tell Baekhyun yes.»

«Okay» the other replied, gulping. «Then... I wish to ask Chanyeol why. Why did you do it?»

Chanyeol took a couple shaky breaths, and Baekhyun knelt by his chair, grabbing his hands and holding them. «Please, tell me. Why did you do it? I’m not mad.»

«B-because...» Chanyeol swallowed several times, pulling at Baekhyun’s hands, «because I was s-scared.» 

Tears began to fall again, and Sehun couldn’t stand that sight. «Scared of what?» Baekhyun gently urged.

Chanyeol raised his gaze to meet his eyes for the first time. «Of telling I love you.»

Baekhyun’s mouth dropped open.

Sehun felt Chen nudging him on his elbow. «Time to go, now» the man whispered, winking at him. Sehun followed him out of the room, turning to see what his friends were doing. 

They didn’t move an inch, still staring at each other, Baekhyun still kneeling next to Chanyeol. 

«I wish to ask Chanyeol for something I can take as a proof» Baekhyun murmured after a while, «something like a kiss.»

Chanyeol started blinking, maybe panicking at the idea of touching his mouth to Baekhyun’s, and he closed his eyes shut. He didn’t back out, though, or shoved the other away.

Without talking, Baekhyun lowered his head and lightly kissed the boy’s knuckles.

Chanyeol opened his eyes, confused, and the boy snorted. «I wish to ask Chanyeol what was he expecting exactly.»

Chanyeol laughed softly. He looked relieved, now that Baekhyun showed to him that he understood and respected his feelings. 

«Tell me I’m awesome» Chen proudly beamed to Sehun, when he closed the door behind his back.

«You are awesome» Sehun replied, heart bursting with happiness. Luhan was waiting for him at the end of the corridor, and he ran to him, crashing into an euphoric hug.

The assistant walked away, smiling to himself while he went downstairs to help his husband preparing dinner. «I think I would have been a good ruffian, wouldn’t I?»

\---oOo---

Later, that night, Sehun showered and got himself ready in a particularly careful way. He combed his hair, letting them fall nicely on his forehead, then he applied a tiny bit of makeup on his eyes as Baekhyun taught him, just the thinnest line to make his eyes stand out. He wanted to be handsome, because he was about to take a huge step forward in his relationship with Luhan. He had been thinking about it for days, after the car following of that day at the mall, and he believed it was the right moment to do something.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, he walked right into Luhan’s arms. The boy was already shirtless, ready for him. Their mouths found each other, locking together, their tongues dancing. 

«Luhan... I want to feel you, all of you» Sehun murmured, among the kisses, «I want you in me.»

The Chinese boy looked at him, surprised. His lips were swollen, his mouth half-parted, and he stared at him with those wonderful jet-coloured eyes. Sehun swallowed, trying to talk in spite of the furious beating of his heart. «I know it might hurt, and I think you endured too much pain already in your life. Also, I still need you to forgive me for my despicable behaviour. Please» he added, when Luhan tried to protest, «you know it’s true. I’ve been an asshole to you.» 

He touched the boy’s cheek, caressing the smooth skin with his thumb. He couldn’t feel the slightest stubble underneath. «I’m so lucky I have you» he said, «and I want to show you I’d do anything for you, including accepting who you are and your past fully. I want to take all your worries and lift them from your shoulders.»

Luhan looked at him, touched, but biting his lips. Again, Sehun felt as if he could read his mind. _It’s not so easy, Sehun._

«I know I can’t do miracles» Sehun insisted, touching the tip of his nose with his lips, «but tonight I want to give you my virginity, if this means something.»

Luhan’s hands roamed down Sehun’s chest, stopping on his hips. His eyes were still locked to Sehun’s, almost mesmerized. But then the boy grimaced a little.

«Don’t worry» Sehun reassured him, «if it hurts too much, I’ll tell you to stop. I won’t lie.»

Luhan looked relieved. He glanced at Sehun, pursing his lips in a timid way.

«Sure» Sehun said, reaching into his pocket to show a small plastic bag to him. «At school there’s plenty of vending machines which give these away. I think it’s for the safe sex campaign and stuff.»

Luhan’s cheeks were burning, as well as Sehun’s. They couldn’t believe the excitement that was building inside of them. They leaned in for a slow, sensual kiss.

«If it feels good as I think» Sehun murmured, against Luhan’s lips, «next time we’ll switch, okay?»

Luhan eagerly nodded, before attacking Sehun’s neck with his teeth and tongue. Sehun threw his head back, hissing at the sensation. He loved it, when Luhan got bold and showed his dominant side. There always had been a dormant part of him which loved being in control, since the very first time they kissed and touched in a sexual way. It came out only when he was really involved, or when he was particularly turned on. Anyway, he adored seeing him take control.

Luhan pushed him into the bed, unbuttoning his shirt and nipping at Sehun’s white skin. He took his sweet time, teasing him with his mouth and tongue, while his face twisted into that mischievous grin that Sehun liked so much. Luhan sucked lightly at Sehun’s nipples, then he kissed his way until he reached his abs. He spent some time teasing the area around Sehun’s navel, making him squirm with the vaguely ticklish but enticingly sensual sensation, then he looked at him, asking for permission, his hand touching his clothed, raging hard-on.

«God» Sehun breathed, «you make me so hot.»

Luhan took his words as a yes, unbuckling his belt and pulling eagerly his jeans away. He undressed too, putting on a little Show to Sehun’s delight, then he knelt between his legs, ghosting his lips over the bulge showing underneath Sehun’s underwear.

«Such a tease» Sehun muttered.

Luhan smiled again, grabbing Sehun’s legs and putting them around his back, pressing their crotches together, their still clothed erections coming in contact. Sehun arched away from the mattress, sneaking his arms around Luhan’s neck to pull him closer.

He wanted to do it. He wanted it like an addict would desire his daily drug. He wanted to feel the slow burn creep along his spine, increasing its intensity until his body shuddered with pleasure.

«Please» he begged, but then his words lost coherence when Luhan finally rolled his underwear away and put his mouth on his cock. It felt so good, so hot, so tight... 

Luhan pulled away, reaching Sehun’s mouth for another scorching kiss. Sehun could feel a bitter taste on his tongue, which almost made him dizzy. He barely noticed Luhan stretching to reach for a small bottle on the bed table. 

«Oh» he commented, when the boy showed it to him, «I guess massage oil will work alright.»

He was still a little worried about the very dynamics of the act. He knew that Luhan was supposed to _penetrate_ him, but now that he looked at his cock, he thought it seemed larger than before, probably because he was rock hard. What if he didn’t consider things properly and was just going to hurt horribly? 

Luhan realized about his worry, because he spent some time kissing him gently, caressing his cheeks. When Sehun relaxed, he squirted some oil into his palm. It must have been some Chinese product, because the scent was wonderfully exotic, and made Sehun smile. Gently, tentatively, Luhan touched his slickened finger to Sehun’s entrance, letting the tip slip inside.

Sehun held his breath, waiting for the pain to come. It felt weird, but not bad. Luhan curled his finger inside of him, probing at the tense skin, massaging the tender muscle. The boy’s other hand was caressing Sehun’s cock, distracting him, and it began to feel really good.

Sehun lifted his hips slightly and bent his legs, trying to get more comfortable, and his eyeballs were almost squeezed out of his head when Luhan’s fingertip grazed against his prostate. «Fuck!» he cursed. This had to be the reason why people seemed so crazy about sex, he thought, but then his mind was lost in a maze again when Luhan kept stroking at that spot, teasing him mercilessly. He barely noticed another finger was added to the first, but he definitely did when a third came to stretch him in a rather unpleasant way. He whimpered, pressing his nails into the small of Luhan’s back, and the boy got the hint and slowed down, beginning to probe at him in a gentler way.  
After a while, Sehun felt finally ready. His body somehow gave up its resistance, becoming more willing to accept that intrusion, and the feeling of Luhan’s hardened cock touching his thigh was enough to make his mouth water. He wanted him so much. 

It was crazy, he thought, while Luhan quickly coated both of them in a thin layer of scented oil, paying extra attention to lubricate Sehun, how long ago did he came into the foster home? And how long did it take for him to fall for Luhan? It all happened in a blink of an eye... but still, it was so intense. And even if they were literally screwing like rabbits, well, it was also pure, in a weird, not literal way.   
His love for Luhan, he believed, was the purest feeling he ever went through. 

His mouth gaped open, while Luhan pushed. The pain was there, but it was a dull burn, nothing unbearable. He tried to relax, doing his best to accept him, while the other boy gently massaged his abs, his legs, balancing on his knees not to weigh on him fully. When Luhan was buried into him, Sehun was panting as if he had been running the marathon. He threw his arms around his neck, keeping him close. He could feel his heartbeat echoing inside of him.

«Luhan» he breathed.

Then, they began to move, the both of them. Hips thrusting, mind drifting away, sweat-dampened skins smacking against each other. Sehun yelped in pain a couple times, but Luhan didn’t slow down, keeping their eyes locked. The tip of his cock was slamming into Sehun’s prostate, changing the ache into something better, something which could not compare to the pleasure they exchanged during their previous sexual encounters. It never felt so intimate, it never felt so intense. 

Luhan’s fingers touched Sehun’s cock, pumping it a few times, and this time the boy groaned aloud, unable to control his voice. «It feels so good.»

Luhan slowed down the pace, plunging into him carefully, changing the angle again. Now the pain was completely gone, and the helpless pleasure of being the receiving part was the best thing Sehun had ever felt in his whole life. He trusted Luhan would never hurt him.  
«Baby» he warned him, when he felt the burn starting to coil at the bottom of his belly, «I’m close.»

Luhan reached out, slamming into him, meeting his lips for a sloppy kiss. Sehun couldn’t believe it. The pleasure kept increasing and increasing, it was as if it could never stop...

He sobbed, coming undone, painting Luhan’s abs white. The boy pushed inside of him for another time, before shuddering hard. Sehun felt him swell, and then the hot rush of his semen poured inside of him. Luhan crashed onto him, spent and covered in sweat.

They stayed like that for long, trying to regain their breath. When they disentangled their limbs, Luhan had to help Sehun lay out his legs, because they were sore just like when he exercised too much. 

«Next time we’ll definitely switch» Sehun told his boyfriend, when he turned to face him, «it was fucking awesome.»

And he laughed like a mad man for the unwilling pun. Luhan smiled as well, pulling him closer for a hug. They closed their eyes, ignoring the smell of their fluids, the sweat and the oil stains on the mattress. 

It didn’t matter, in that moment.

\---oOo---

It was very late, when Sehun heard his phone ring once.

Just a text message, he thought, nothing important. He was about to close his eyes again, when he suddenly got terribly curious. What if Baekhyun had some news to tell? 

He gently pushed Luhan away without waking him up, then he sat up and reached for the phone. His back ached, as well as the part of his body which had been put at work, but oh well. It had been worth it.

The text was from an unknown number.

_Stay away from Han’s son. Just a kind advice. :-)_

Sehun’s heart sank.


	10. Family

Sehun spent the night laying in his bed, completely awake. Luhan was sleeping next to him, and his soft snoring was the only thing that prevented him from whining like a kid scared of the dark. He scooped near Luhan, moving to spoon against him. The boy whimpered a barely audible sound, settling so that Sehun could hug him tightly. Sehun loved him so much, and his heart was full of love and terror.  
If he were alone, he would have run into Chen and Xiumin’s room, shouting for help. That text message was a threat, and it was aimed to him. The mere thought of being someone’s target made him shiver. 

«Didn’t you notice that Luhan doesn’t own a phone?» Xiumin asked him, when Sehun told him the news the morning after. «It was because cell phones are easy to track. His laptop isn’t connected to the internet either. We tried our best to protect him, without letting anyone know he was hiding here.»

«How did they find him, then?» Sehun asked, anxious. He was so nervous he couldn’t eat anything. 

Chen hunched his shoulders. «Someone at school might have talked» he admitted. «That people at the mall wasn’t there by chance. I think they had been keeping an eye on us all for a while. Anyway, Southern Korea isn’t such a big country. They could have simply checked all the foster homes until they found the right one.»

«When we informed the police after the mall incident» Xiumin added, «and we mentioned minister Han’s name, the officers suddenly got very nervous. They listened to us, but when we told them we have minors to protect and that we needed some security, they made up excuses and told us they were lacking personnel and couldn’t second our request.»

«Fuck» Sehun muttered. «Don’t tell me they got corrupted.»

«I don’t know what to think anymore.» Xiumin looked almost on the verge of tears. «I’ve racked my own brain to come up with a solution, but I can’t seem to find anything good. I’ve contacted a private security agency, but we can’t afford it. We’ve even considered making you guys take private lessons, to avoid going to school, but it might be useless. Sooner or later, you’d need to get out of here, and you’ll be exposed to... those people. And now this, Sehun.» Xiumin looked at him, then he closed his eyes. «I’m afraid the only solution is sending you guys to separate foster homes, making you travel in incognito. This would give us some advantage, at least for a while. But I think you can guess why I’m still hesitating, even if this might be dangerous for us all.»

Xiumin’s face twisted, and Chen put his arm around him, pulling him closer. «Do you guys have been threatened too?»

The psychologist swallowed his tears. «Yes» he admitted. «We would receive weird phone calls, mostly of insults. I don’t care about being called a fag... but I definitely care for you and the other boys. At first I tried to ignore it, but one day a man wearing a hood grabbed me while I was grocery shopping and he threatened me with a knife. I was so scared I couldn’t sleep for many nights.»

Sehun suddenly remembered thinking Xiumin’s dark circles were particularly evident, and that he looked dead tired. «Oh God.»

«Jongdae got harassed too» the psychologist added. «Once we found an offensive writing on the van’s windshield aimed to him. Another time...» the man completely lost it, starting to sob. Chen held him, cradling his smaller form into his arms.

«We had a dog, before your arrival» he revealed, sounding touched by the memory, «he was a good animal, and the boys loved him. We found him dead on the doorstep one morning, his belly cut from head to toe. Yi Fan was the one who found him...» the man’s voice faltered.

«I can’t believe it.» Sehun felt sick thinking about the cruelty of Han’s men. 

Chen nodded. «I swear it’s true. Minseok and I can tolerate everything, on the condition that you guys are safe. None of you guys, not even Luhan himself, was really harmed until the day we went at the mall.» He paused, grimacing. «But now they focused on you, probably because they saw you being intimate with Luhan. God only knows how they got your number.»

«Christ» Sehun murmured, feeling his face emptying of any colour. He didn’t want to be separated from Luhan, Baekhyun and the others... but he was scared, he couldn’t deny it. 

Xiumin’s tears were still falling. «I’m so worried for Yi Fan» he admitted, broken, «now that he’s living alone, without anyone to protect him... what if next time they’ll decide to target him?»

Chen hugged him tightly, pressing his lips to his forehead. «Please, baby, don’t be like this. We need to be strong.»

«How?» Xiumin protested, «how can we? We’re completely helpless, here. We can’t do anything to protect our beloved children anymore. We’re a total failure.»

Sehun turned, hearing a noise. The door of Xiumin’s office crept open, and a very pale Luhan appeared in the doorframe. 

For a second, nobody said or did anything, while the four people in the room kept staring at each other. Luhan’s eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted. Sehun and Xiumin moved at the same moment, reaching out for him.

«Luhan...»

Then, something incredible happened. 

Luhan’s mouth moved without producing any sound. The boy coughed and cleared his voice, and both Sehun and the older man froze, shocked. 

«I... I think...» Luhan murmured, his voice barely a scratchy whisper, «I need to tell everything, now.»

Chen rushed to Xiumin’s side, because the psychologist looked like he could fall on the floor at any moment. Sehun himself was so surprised he couldn’t think straight. Luhan’s voice was soft, his tone complimented his slender figure, manly but not high-pitched like Baekhyun’s. His voice was nice, he thought, feeling like crying, and his Korean was flawless, without the slightest accent.

Luhan saw his expression change, and he reached out for him. Sehun stupidly took his hand, holding it like a schoolboy. Hearing Luhan talk somehow made him different from the silent boy he knew. He couldn’t help being scared that something might change in their relationship, now. 

«Wait a moment, please.» Chen helped Xiumin sitting on a chair, then he walked out of the office, entering the common room. 

«Where’s breakfast?» Sehun heard Baekhyun complain. «I’m hungry.»

«Uh... Xiumin and me are a little late with the food» Chen told him, nonchalant, «Kyungsoo, I trust you and Kai are more than able to feed the troop, right?»

«What happened?» Tao asked, suspicious, «and where are Sehun and Luhan? They’re not in their room». 

Sehun cringed, squeezing Luhan’s hand. He didn’t want anyone, even armed with good intentions, to barge in and startle Luhan’s resolution away. He really hoped Chen would come with a believable lie...

«The truth is» the man solemnly stated, «that Minseok surprised me, this morning, by bringing me breakfast in bed, and I got a little too excited over it, so we lost track of time and got terribly late.»

A stunned silence followed those words, and Sehun could see Xiumin stare at the half-closed door with perfectly round eyes. «What the fuck is that moron saying?»

Sehun threw into a fit of hysterical laughter. His nerves were really messed up, he thought, feeling slightly dizzy. He fell on a chair nearby, dragging Luhan with himself, refusing to let him go. The Chinese boy had stiffened when he heard Chen’s lie, but then he half-smiled when the man added the sexual innuendo. 

«Sehun had a nightmare and is still whining like a baby in Minseok’s office, while Luhan’s busy comforting him.»

«Oh my God» Xiumin muttered, «I married an idiot.» Sehun snickered, and his eyes met Luhan’s. The boy’s thumb was drawing circles on his hand, like he always did.

«There’s a problem, though» Kyungsoo made Chen notice, «we’re late for school too. We won’t make it in time.»

«Oh well» Chen promptly added, «let’s call it an extra vacation day, then! Don’t worry. I’ll settle everything later.»

The guys cheered loudly, and Sehun started to relax: nobody would be in danger, for that day. He listened to his friends’ cheerful voices thanking Chen and mockingly congratulating him for the glorious awakening, then he heard Kyungsoo and Kai’s footsteps as they entered the kitchen, which was only a wall away from the office. Chen joined them again, shutting the door and leaning to the table next to his husband. They all patiently waited for the two boys to set the rice cooker, the kettle and the pot for the soup, then they heard them walking away in the common room to serve the food. The boys started talking, and soon the sounds of the spoons grazing the bottom of the cups and the clatter of the pottery were added to that happy mess. 

«I think you can go on, now, Luhan» Chen said, after a while. «I’m sorry for acting so surprised, before. You didn’t take offense, did you?»

The boy shook his head, blinking when he realized he indulged in his hold habit to keep his mouth shut. «No» he confirmed, his voice still a little unstable. «How could I? It’s me, who caused all this trouble to you. You deserve to know the truth. I’m just...» he hesitated, gulping down, «I’m just sorry it took me so long to find the courage to talk.»

Xiumin smiled lightly, not daring to say anything. He was dead scared that magical moment would be spoiled by a wrongly placed word, and Sehun found himself sharing that worry. Slowly, he urged Luhan to sit on the remaining chair, without letting go of his hand.

«I...» Luhan began, his black eyes becoming distant, «it’s not that I didn’t trust you, Xiumin. Actually, you guys were so nice to me, and I acted in a very ungrateful manner. I’m sorry for that, with my whole heart.» He bowed his head. «Please, accept my apologies.»

Xiumin’s eyes filled with tears again. Sehun thought he was remembering those terrible days when he took Luhan into the foster home, spending his time trying to keep the boy alive. 

«I love you all» Luhan murmured, his voice becoming stronger the more words he spoke out, «I want you to be aware of it, since I’ve never told. Also... I’d like to underline, even if it might be hard to believe, that I decided to keep silent for a good reason.»

«Which one, Luhan?» Chen gently asked. «We’re not here to judge you. Actually, we’re so happy you decided to open up with us that we can barely contain ourselves.»

Luhan smiled lightly. His eyes were glossy with emotion. «It is... hard» he murmured, clutching Sehun’s hand in his own. «I don’t know where to begin.»

The others swallowed their questions, respecting the boy’s need to make order into his thoughts. Silently, to give him some courage, Sehun brought his hand to his lips, kissing it gently. 

«The current minister Han, who took the place of my father, was always a member of our family. He never married, and his bond with my father was really strong. They were really close, as brothers. My father was fond of him, and he was always very nice to us, until the day my father fell ill. When he died, things suddenly changed.» Luhan stopped, swallowing hard. «I’m sorry» he asked, «may I have a tissue?»

Xiumin handed one to him. The psychologist was still shaken, after Luhan’s sudden decision to start talking, and Sehun really couldn’t blame him. Chen was still holding him, determined to prevent his husband from falling apart.

«Thanks.» Luhan wiped his nose, then he went on. «It was hard, for my mom and me, when my father died. We had money, sure, and we weren’t lacking anything necessary. Still... we felt lonely. My dad was the centre of our family. He was a really easygoing, cheerful man. He always made us laugh. My mom loved him with all her heart, and me too. When he suddenly left us, in a very quick and clean way, actually, we couldn’t believe we would never hear his laughter or his jokes again. The current Minister Han helped us a lot, at the beginning, while we were still working through our grief. He took us out for dinner, on vacation... I remember when we went to Disneyland, it was so nice. We had fun, and we surely wouldn’t imagine what happened afterwards.

«I don’t know exactly when he started dating my mother. I think they tried to keep it a secret not to upset me, because I remember noticing, one day while we were at the beach, that he was wiping her face with a tissue. Nothing too weird, actually... but when he was finished, he kissed her, and she kissed him back. I remember I felt so shocked by that sight, that I locked myself in my room and refused to get out for dinner. I felt betrayed... and I was sure my dad would have felt the same, if he was really watching us from the Heavens, like people said in church. My mom tried to make me reason. They were a grown man and a grown woman, they could do what they wanted, it wasn’t anything wrong. But really, I couldn’t shrug off the thought that they might have had an affair even when my father was still alive. I told her I wasn’t approving of their relationship, and, sure as hell, that I would have never called that man my father.

«When my mom told him they should slow things down because I was too upset, minister Han got very mad at me. He suddenly started calling me a spoiled brat, and he would always get sarcastic or mocking when I was around. You know, I liked to sing, I even took classes, and I would often obtain solo parts in school performances or at the church. He hated it especially when I was practising at home, he said the sound of my voice gave him headache. He started to call me Pretty Voice, which I hated.

«It started with many little things, a couple sentences dropped here and there, but it escalated way too quickly. Soon, that man would always make me the target of his anger. Once, while I was practising in my room, he barged in and tore to pieces all my music sheets. When I tried to sing even without it, he came and he grabbed me by my hair and...»

Luhan suddenly stopped, blinking. Sehun couldn’t stand the expression on his face. His eyes were dry, but his features revealed a deep sufferance. He hated thinking that he got mad at him, previously. 

«I’ll spare the details» he said, when he regained control. «Let’s say that was only the first time. Afterwards, every time he was mad, not necessary because of me, even when he came home from work and was stressed out, he would come looking for me and he would pour out his anger on me.»

«Did he beat you?» Chen asked, in a very soft voice.

«Sometimes» Luhan confirmed, «especially when he drank. But he didn’t like it, because it left visible signs. He preferred doing things that weren’t... visible at a first look...» His voice trailed off, and Sehun tried his best to push away a terrible image appearing in his mind.   
«It’s okay» Chen told him, «it’s okay, don’t tell. Go on with what happened next.»

«You can guess it» Luhan murmured. «His relationship with my mother failed miserably, since she couldn’t bear seeing me in pain. At first she didn’t realize he was harassing me regularly, or more likely, she pretended not to. She was lonely, you know, lonely and depressed. I didn’t even know she was taking pills, I discovered it only after her death. I could frequently hear them fighting. She wanted to send me abroad, but he was against it. He kept saying I was a spoiled brat and wasn’t able to look after myself. I got very angry and got out of my room, joining them. I told that man what I thought of him, very clearly, in his face. I remember he didn’t reply anything, he just watched me with wide eyes, then he smiled. Yes, he smiled, and added: “One day you’ll regret saying this, Pretty Voice”. Three days after, I had been out with friends, and when I came back home I called for my mom, but she didn’t answer. She never went out alone, and since I saw minister Han’s car in the court, I knew they were both in the house. I stepped into the sitting room, and I saw the whole scene.» He shuddered. «Please, I don’t want to describe it.»

«It’s alright» Chen reassured him. Xiumin grabbed a tissue from the box and pressed it to his eyes. He had been shaking with silent sobs for the last few minutes, and Sehun had to look away because he didn’t want to lose it as well. He wanted to stay strong for Luhan.

«I stood there, shocked. My mom was on the floor, already dead, and he was holding the baseball bat he used to kill her. It was stained of her blood, and I suddenly felt nauseous. “See” he told me, turning to face me with an insane expression, “you are really good for nothing. You can’t even cry over your mother’s dead body. Where’s your pretty voice gone? Sing.” I looked at him, too shocked to say anything. He was delirious, now I understand it, but I couldn’t, at that time. My mind was lost. I was there, but I wasn’t as well, just like when he would use violence on me. He grabbed me, throwing me on the floor. “I said, SING.” I cried out, because I dirtied myself in all that blood. It was still slightly warm, and then I started wailing. He kicked me. “Shut the fuck up, Pretty Voice” he said, but I couldn’t. How could I? I’d just lost my mother, which was weak and imperfect, but I loved her from the bottom of my heart. ”If you don’t shut up immediately” he said, “I’ll cut your tongue”. I spat on him. Then, a real fury possessed me, because I threw myself on him, hammering him with my bare fists. I never tried fighting him back, before, not even when he took advantage of me. I don’t know why. I was just too scared, I think. But in that moment, I couldn’t think of anything but to get a revenge. I wanted that man dead at my feet.

«He grabbed me by my neck and I felt chocking. Then, he looked at me in the eyes and said: “Just dare opening your mouth to talk _once_ , and I’ll kill all those that you love.” Then he looked at the corpse on the floor, and let out the most terrifying laughter I’ve ever heard. “As you see, I’ve already started”.»

Xiumin let out a pained sound, and Luhan’s eyes suddenly focused on him. His gaze had been lost until that moment. «This is why I kept silent until today» Luhan added, so pale that Sehun was afraid he could faint at any time. «I wanted to die, this is why I tried to starve myself, but then I met you guys, which seemed so determined in helping me out of my state of desperation. I couldn’t understand why you seemed so obsessed with me, at first. I was even scared you were Han’s men, who were cruelly teasing me around... but then, gradually, I began to trust you. I guess I didn’t want that man to win, in the end. So, for quite a long time, I convinced myself that everything would be okay. I was happy here, the happiest I’d been for a long time, and it was thank to you, Xiumin and Chen. Thank you so much for what you did for me, for what you... endured. But now, everything changed. You guys have already been targeted, and now Sehun too. This is what convinced me I had to force myself to speak. I don’t want any of you to get hurt. Family is important, to me, and you are my family, now.»

«May... may I hug you?» Xiumin finally said, talking for the first time since Luhan started telling his story. The boy didn’t say anything, but he reached out in a decidedly unmistakable way. Sehun exchanged a look with Chen, while the two hugged tightly. They shared a special bond, after all. Xiumin was the one who shed sweat and tears to keep Luhan alive when he wasn’t struggling anymore.

Then, when he parted from the older man, he brought Sehun’s hand to his lips. «You have no idea how many times I wanted to vent out everything at you, Sehun» he murmured, his voice turning shaky, «I’ve never found someone who was so determined with me, who would accept me as I am. Your love reminded me I am still a human being... and that I want to carry on like a normal one. I’m sick of hiding like a rat. I want to get out and live.»

Then, he finally started crying. Big tears rolled past his cheeks while he sobbed, and Sehun didn’t think twice and pulled him in a tight hug. Luhan whimpered like a baby, but it was okay, Sehun thought. They were good tears, tears of relief. Luhan knew he was safe in his arms. He was glad he told his story... and he felt so grateful for having him in his life.

«Baby» he said, barely realizing about the fact that he was crying too. «I love you so much.»

«I love you too.»

«Luhan» Chen said, after a pause during which he went making tea for everyone, «do you think you might be able to tell this to a judge in a courthouse?»

Luhan wiped his eyes and nose, and he silently nodded, looking determined. Sehun was proud of him, and he leaned over to kiss the boy’s temple. They almost ran out of tissues, since the four of them had fished into the box for the whole time. 

«That’s my boy» Chen smiled brightly, patting the boy’s shoulder. «We’ll do it, we’ll frame that crazy bastard.»

They spent a little more time in the cramped up office, talking of small things, trying to get back to normal. Xiumin told his opinion about Han’s behaviour towards Luhan, and he said that probably the man took great envy on his brother’s seemingly perfect family since the beginning, but his weak mind couldn’t take it. It happened with many manic-depressive subjects, the switching from the deepest, fondest kind of love to an hatred which feed on violence and verbal abuse. In the psychologist’s opinion, Han was a very, very sick man, and he needed medical treatment, but also to pay for his wrong deeds.

Sehun never let go of Luhan’s hand for all the time. When they got back into their room, they both fell on the bed, exhausted.

«God» Sehun murmured, his eyes already half-closed, «if I weren’t so drained I’d make love to you until tomorrow.»

Luhan chuckled, this time in an audible way, moving to settle comfortably against him. «I think we’ll have plenty of time to do it later.»

It was still morning, but they slept soundly until lunch, curled up one against the other.

\---oOo---

«Guys, are you still alive?» Baekhyun yelled, smashing the door open. «Tao was beginning to think the aliens kidnapped the both of you.»

Sehun muttered something, pulling the pillow over his head. «Quiet and delicate as usual.»

The other boy bent his head to the side, watching the two stretching lazily on the bed. «Are you okay? I thought you might be exhausted after all the fucking I’m sure you do every night, but something doesn’t look right to me. What’s the matter?»

Sehun smiled to Luhan, who was yawning by his side. «You tell him or I do?»

«What?» Baekhyun squeaked, taking in the implications of his words. «Do you mean...»

«Hello, Baekhyun» Luhan politely interrupted him, with a bright smile. «How’re you doing?»

The boy let out such a high-pitched shriek that Sehun feared for the windows’ glass to shatter. «My ears» he complained, but Baekhyun had already climbed on their bed, squishing Luhan in a hug that could kill. 

«You did it, my friend! I’m so happy! And _you_ » he added, thwacking Sehun’s head, «you’re such a troll.»

«Ow, my ribs...» Luhan protested, but Baekhyun shut him up placing a kiss on his cheek. 

«I’m going to tell everyone!» he yelled, running out in the corridor. «Chanyeol! Luhan talked! CHANYEOL!»

«So noisy» Sehun muttered again, pulling Luhan closer. The Chinese boy looked at him with a mischievous smile.

«You might be the cutest troll» he said, ruffling Sehun’s hair. The other huffed, making a face, and Luhan laughed. He loved hearing his laughter. It sounded so nice.

Then, the room slowly filled up with people, as the other boys came to witness the miracle. Luhan politely greeted everyone, smiling and exchanging a couple words with everyone. Tao couldn’t contain his happiness, as he grabbed him and hugged him tightly. 

Sehun watched the whole scene while sitting on his bed. He still felt uncomfortable, thinking of the text message still saved in his phone, but he had to admit he was feeling way better, now. He was happy Luhan finally decided to open up... and he was also happy to see his friends participating to their joy. Luhan was right: they were family. He would consider them nothing but his siblings.

Xiumin prepared bibimbap for lunch, and the boys ate enthusiastically. It was like they were throwing a party. He noticed that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were holding hands under the table, and he felt happy for them. They were proceeding slowly, since the taller boy was still a little uncomfortable on the physical side, but he was positive they were made for each other, and they could do it.

His heart was full of hope and happiness, on that day, while he stayed by his lover’s side, with his friends, his family gathered all together.


	11. A love that can build beautiful things - Jongdae and Minseok's story

Jongdae took his evening pills, gulping them down with a big glass of water. He felt vaguely dizzy, after all the strong emotions of that stressful day, but he knew it was nothing. It just happened, from time to time, since lately he exercised less and didn’t go out to jog as he did previously. Also, he was gaining some weight because of all the chocolate he wolfed down when he felt sad, and he knew his cardiologist would not approve. 

He stared at his own blurred reflection on the fridge’s surface, trying to read through the signs on his face. His features were strong, with chiselled cheekbones, but now he could definitely see some thin lines, especially at the corner of his eyes, that weren’t there before. 

«You’re getting old, my friend» he told to himself.

«Who are you talking to?» Minseok asked, from the bedroom. «Are you okay?»

«Yes, I’m coming.»

Jongdae put the empty glass in the sink, then walked his way to the room. When they planned out the foster home, they agreed to destine the good room, those upstairs, for the kids, keeping the old master bedroom for themselves. The problem was that the walls were facing north, and they got mouldy and wet. Sometimes, they even needed to spread out some insecticide because of the beetles, especially during summer. It was freezing when cold, suffocating when warm... but they would never move to one of the upstairs’ room, because those were for the kids.

Minseok was already in bed, waiting for him. «Come» he said, lifting the covers to let him slip underneath. Jongdae dived in playfully, immediately pulling closer to hug him. «Oh, come on» Minseok swatted his wandering hands away, «leave me be. I’m tired.»

Jongdae pretended to sulk. The big reading glasses and the psychology book Minseok was reading were a little discouraging, but they’d been playing that game for too many years, for him to give up that easily. His eyes fell on the ring Minseok never took off, not even when he was cooking or getting washed, and he reached out to brush his fingers over it.

The smaller man looked at him. «What’s wrong?»

«I was thinking about Luhan.»

Minseok put the book away with a sigh. «Me too, actually. I can’t concentrate on anything.»

They turned so they were facing each other, lying on their side. «He’s so young» Jongdae murmured, «but he’s already seen so much violence it makes me sick just thinking about it.»

Minseok didn’t say anything, but he stretched out to stroke his husband’s side, a tender gesture of understanding. He shared Jongdae’s thoughts. 

«I’ve seen a lot of boys who were troubled by life gradually overcoming their fears, or being swallowed by them» the psychologist added, «but I could pretty much figure it at a first glance. You can immediately recognize those who can make it, or at least this is what I thought previously. I knew Tao could do it, as well as Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Yi Fan... but Luhan? I couldn’t understand him, no matter how hard I tried. I was afraid we could lose him at any time, when finally Sehun came and I started to believe we really had a chance.» 

«It’s not like you didn’t try enough with him» Jongdae reassured him, gently removing the glasses from his face. Minseok looked so much better without, almost like the cheeky guy he met many years before. «He was so hurt and he almost gave up, but your will and your love helped him until he met someone who could give him the strength to react.»

Minseok laughed half-heartedly. «And thinking that we were even worried he could fall for Tao, at first. Do you remember?»

Jongdae smiled. «Oh yes I do very well. You were so nervous at that time you would snap for every little thing.»

«I’m sorry, Jongdae.»

«For what?» the other replied, placing a kiss on the bridge of his nose. «You acted like this out of love. You’re a father to these lost kids... and they know they can rely on you for everything.»

Minseok nodded, his eyes getting glassy, and Jongdae pulled him closer. «Do you ever wish we could have a son for real?» the psychologist asked, in a tiny voice, after a long pause. Jongdae closed his eyes, trying to dominate himself. That topic never failed to tug at his heart.

«Many times» he admitted, when he could speak. «I know you want a son. And I can’t help but feeling responsible for causing such pain to you.»

«Jongdae» the psychologist straightened up to face him, «we already talked about this. It’s not just your disease the problem... we’re a gay couple. No judge in Korea would ever let us adopt a kid.»

«While every fucking ethero couple who asks for it can get what it wants» he had to stop, because his throat was knotted. He was about to cry, and he hated it. He hated feeling helpless and miserable. He loved laughing, joking, also teasing his husband, who was a little of a sourpuss when he wasn’t in the right mood. But the knowledge they would never form a family, a real one, was still an open wound in their marriage. A wound that kept bleeding, day after day, refusal after refusal.

«Jongdae» Minseok murmured, stroking his face, «please, don’t be like this. You said it before... we already have marvellous kids. They are our joy and our pride.»

«But they’ll all leave us, in the end» the other man said, meekly, «the moment they’ll get out of this place, they will forget about us.»

«They won’t» Minseok insisted, «one can never forget about the people that took care of them.»

Jongdae closed his eyes, leaning in his husband’s soothing touch. Actually, beneath the cheerful and optimistic facade, he was a very unsure man. His biggest fear, that he never even told Minseok, was to lose to his illness, leaving his beloved alone. He knew Minseok was tough, and that he would mourn but grow stronger afterwards, but he hated the thought of being a cause of sufferance, for him. He really, really hated it.

«Do you remember when we first met?» Minseok suddenly asked. 

Jongdae looked at him, his gaze softening. «Yes» he replied, softly. «I fell for you the very moment I spotted you among the crowd.»

The psychologist laughed. «You ran away like a fool» he said, «I had to chase after you for a while.»

«And do you remember when...»

 

\---oOo--- Seoul, ten years before ---oOo---

Jongdae was bored. The event – a vernissage with odd paintings he couldn’t even decide he liked or not – was boring. The people – all artsy, weirdly dressed and with absurd hairstyles youngsters, with whom he had nothing in common – were boring. Even the food – little bite-sized delicatessen and sparkling cocktails – was boring, so he could not even enjoy the buffet. Heechul was a good friend of his, but he was a weird dude, full stop. Jongdae still marvelled they could get along so well, being so different. Well, it wasn’t a mystery, that he attended the event just because his friend was dead scared nobody would come to admire his paintings. In the end, he was wrong: a lot of people came, an awful lot, for Jongdae’s taste. Just a few minutes of torture, he thought, and he could finally go home. He sipped at his drink, thinking that it tasted like soapy water.

Someone tapped on his shoulder. «Excuse me.»

He turned. «Please» he automatically replied. A tiny man walked past him, approaching the buffet table to get some food. No, not tiny, Jongdae thought, looking at him from behind, he was just a tad bit shorter than him, but he somehow looked _small_. Delicate, also, with those almond-shaped eyes and plush lips. Okay, he was hot, and he was just a few inches away from him, staring at the food with a frown on his face.

«I’m afraid I’ve no recommendations to help you choose» Jongdae said, with a smile. «I’ve tried everything, and it tasted all pretty much the same.»

The man looked at him, his dark eyes studying him before answering. «Oh, I’m not really hungry. I’ll just try something to accompany the wine.»

Jongdae was surprised. «Is there wine? Where?»

«Over there» the handsome man replied, now decidedly taken aback by his weird comments, «where all those people are waiting in line.»

«Fuck. Oh, I’m sorry, err... damn.» Jongdae was fidgeting like a schoolboy. He couldn’t believe it, crushing on an unknown dude met at a horrible event he could care less. And he already cut a very poor figure, which was just...

The man was still staring at him. «Are you okay? You look a little...» He didn’t finish the sentence, trying to be polite. Jongdae suddenly felt very, very pathetic.

«Ah, I’m fine, thank you. Please, excuse me.»

And he did it—he ran away. He actually pushed the people away, trying to get some air, because he felt suffocating. The music was loud and it was pounding in his ears, making him feel terrible. 

He finally reached the front door of the building, and when he got out in the street, everything was better. He leaned against the wall, trying to breathe. He could feel his heartbeat slowing down. He was grown worried about it, lately... he would get tachycardia for every little physical effort, like climbing the stairs to get home or lifting heavy stuff. What if he was sick? He hated doctors and hospitals. 

«Hey» a voice called, near him, making him jump.

Jongdae found himself staring at the handsome man he approached before, who was holding a flute of sparkling rosé. «You looked like someone who would need it.»

He took the glass without thinking, taking a sip from it. Well, there was something which tasted good, at that frigging buffet. «Thank you.»

The man smiled at him. «My name’s Minseok.»

«Jongdae.»

They shook hands, eyes still avoiding to meet. Minseok was wearing a suit that complimented his tiny bone structure, making him look good. Jongdae put on a pair of jeans and a shirt, not even his best one, and he felt ugly next to his new acquaintance. 

«So...» Minseok began, in a somewhat encouraging way, «are you and Heechul friends?»

«Uh, yes. We’ve attended the same school... we were classmates, actually.»

«Which school?»

«High school» Jongdae replied, nervous. Why such curiosity? That man was definitely taking a little too interest in him. It wasn’t normal.

«Cool. I’m his therapist.»

«What?!»

«I’m Heechul’s psychologist» Minseok patiently explained. «I kind of promised I would attend tonight, but I’m afraid I have no taste for arts.»

Jongdae burst out laughing. «Oh, my God. Amazing.»

«Please don’t misunderstand» Minseok added, turning nervous, «it’s not that I don’t like Heechul as a person, it’s just... well, this kind of events, to me, is a little...» he hesitated, at a loss for words, but Jongdae saved him, nodding with decision.

«I feel the same» he admitted. «I hate this kind of things. I think I even messed up with the dressing code.» 

Minseok stared at him. «I see nothing wrong, actually.»

Jongdae felt his cheeks heat up. Was there a tiny, veiled sexual innuendo, in those words? Or was he just imagining things?

«Uh... thanks.»

A long, uncomfortable silence fell between them, as Minseok nodded and averted his gaze, apparently looking at the cars in the street. Jongdae kept staring at him when he thought the other wasn’t watching. He looked young, but he thought he was so juvenile-looking, with those bright eyes and puffy cheeks, that it was hard guessing his age. He concluded Minseok couldn’t be much younger than him.

«What do you do for a living?» Minseok finally asked, when Jongdae thought he couldn’t bear that silence any more.

«I’ve changed a lot of jobs» he replied, sincere. «I’ve been a shop assistant, a clerk, I helped my mother at her own shop...»

«What shop?»

«A coffee shop. The Americano. Do you know it?»

«Are you kidding me? I go there every morning before work. I love your glazed lemon loaf.»

Jongdae smiled bashfully. He liked it, when people said they liked his mom’s shop. Minseok, though, was still looking at him. «I’ve never saw you there» he told him, in a rather solemn way, «I’m sure I’d have remembered, if it happened.»

Jongdae blushed. Then, he wasn’t mistaken, previously. Minseok was definitely taking an interest in him, but why? A man with a career, all nicely dressed and handsome, surely richer than him, who could definitely have better...

Minseok’s hand brushed Jongdae’s elbow. «I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.»

«Ah, I’m not uncomfortable» the man stuttered. «It’s just, I’m so hopeless with this kind of things.»

«Maybe... would it feel less weird, if I just invite your for dinner?»

Jongdae opened his eyes wide. That man was... persistent. «I don’t know» he admitted, the scare burning softly in his guts. «I... I’ve never dated a man.»

«Me neither, actually» Minseok revealed, surprising him even more. «But I like you a lot.»

Jongdae stared at him, feeling his heart speed up.

 _I like you a lot_.

«Uh... okay, then» he said. He wanted to tell Minseok the feeling was mutual, but his temples were hammering and he felt a little unstable on his feet. Maybe that wine was stronger than what he thought.

They exchanged their cell phones numbers, then they said goodbye. Jongdae watched as Minseok left, not believing what just happened.   
He was dating a man. And he fucking liked the thought.

\---

Contrary to his disastrous previsions, the date went smoothly.

Jongdae arrived at the restaurant half an hour in advance, palms sweaty and shirt already drenched on his back. He kept tugging at his hair, worried the car trip ruined the careful style, but when Minseok appeared, dressed with a pair of simple trousers and a tee, his fears dissipated. «Hello» he greeted him.

«Hello.»

Jongdae didn’t step back, when the other leaned over to press their cheeks together. It felt so natural he wondered why they didn’t do it when they first met. 

They took their seats and ordered pizza and beer. Minseok was right, Jongdae thought. Sitting in a quiet place with good food, everything felt better. He enjoyed the other man’s company.

«So, you’re older than me» he said, when he asked Minseok. «I was sure of it.»

«Really?»

«Yes. You’re so mature and sure of yourself. I like it.»

Minseok’s cheeks turned rosy pink, and Jongdae smiled. When they finished eating, they walked around together, and they never stopped talking. They knew each other slowly, little by little, satisfying their curiosity one question at a time.

When it was time to part, they kissed, and Jongdae believed his heart would have jumped out of his body. «Uh... would you like seeing my flat?» Minseok asked, his hand still on Jongdae’s hip, stroking an inch of skin that the shirt, a little dishevelled, left bare. 

Jongdae was growing crazy with desire. He never wanted someone so much. «Yes, please.»

And then, everything that followed was lost in a blur. He remembered stepping into Minseok’s house, lights still off, feeling the man creeping next to him before grabbing his tiny waist to pull him closer, wanting to feel everything of him. The flavour of his lips and tongue, the heat of his skin as their clothes fell around, lost in the darkness. Their messy stumbling until they collided with a soft surface – Minseok’s couch – and made crazy, crazy love on it, kissing each other, grinding their hips together, caressing their smooth skin. They were forced to part and turn on the lights just when they both remembered the importance of safe sex. Jongdae stayed put, catching his breath, while the older man rummaged in a drawer, fishing for a condom. He helped him wearing it, because Jongdae never did it before.

«Does it hurt? I don’t want to hurt you.»

«Actually it’s just a little discomfort» Minseok told him, laying down on the soft couch, «and I’m sure you’ll do great.»

Those words worked wonderfully on Jongdae’s pride, while he carefully prepared his lovers with his fingers. Minseok would instruct him gently but steadily, telling him what to do when he hesitated. 

Minseok’s body was like him: warm, welcoming. Jongdae shuddered, when he entered the smaller man, feeling his insides clench around him. They were so turned on by each other that everything was over in a few powerful thrusts. Minseok came all over Jongdae’s belly, while the other panted, already spent. He carefully pulled away, discarding the condom in a waste bin nearby. 

«This was... wow» he murmured, cuddling with his lover. 

«Are you okay?» Minseok asked, worried.

«Yes, why?»

«Your heart» the other replied, placing a hand on Jongdae’s chest, «isn’t it beating a little too fast?»

«It’s because you made me so hot» Jongdae boldly replied, making Minseok chuckle. 

«Okay, but I want you to check on it, okay?»

«Yes, mommy.»

Minseok playfully swatted Jongdae’s head, before pulling him tighter against himself. «I’m so glad I met you» he said. 

«Me too.»

The day after, they both skipped work. They stayed at Minseok’s place, going around naked, doing nothing but dozing off and making love. Yes, love, not sex. They even took a bath together, squeezed in the narrow tub. They couldn’t keep their hands away from each other.

«What did you do to me?» Minseok asked, all of a sudden. «I’ve never felt this way towards anyone.»

«Me too» Jongdae replied. 

They stayed silent, and the younger relaxed, almost falling asleep because of the warm water and the tiredness.

«I know we have just met» Minseok said, «and that I probably shouldn’t say anything of it to you, but I have a feeling you are the one who can understand me.» He stared at him with his deep eyes. «Do you want to hear my request?»

Jongdae nodded. «Sure, baby.»

Minseok smiled at the affectionate word. «I don’t like being a therapist for adults. My dream is to work with adolescents... young boys, actually. And I’d like to sell my study and buy a building to turn it into a foster home.» 

Jongdae stared at him. «Oh» he stated.

Minseok playfully hit him with the tip of his foot. «I know it’s a little shocking» he admitted, «but the idea occurred to me when you told me you changed many jobs. You didn’t look satisfied with your work, and you are kind-hearted and gentle. Would you like being my partner in crime? As in... an educator. For my foster home.»

Jongdae pondered the request. He surely didn’t want to end his days at his mother’s coffee shop, but he wasn’t sure he could handle adolescents either. Kids were scary little things, and boys were even worse. «Uh... I don’t know.»

«Jongdae» Minseok came closer, splashing water everywhere, «do you trust me?»

\---

In the end, he did. He trusted him, because he loved him from the bottom of his heart. Speaking of which, kept giving him problems.

Jongdae moved at Minseok’s place, which was big enough for them, but soon they found out that they would have needed to sell it too, in order to buy a building that could contain many bedrooms. «So many expenses» Jongdae said, worried. «Are you sure we are going to make it?»

«Yes» Minseok curtly replied, and Jongdae looked at him, saddened by the aggravated expression on his boyfriend’s face. The day before, Minseok informed his family that he was dating a man, and his parents went crazy furious. He pulled him into a tight hug, letting the man bury his face in the crook of his neck. The day before he saw him cry for the first time.

«Something is definitely not okay with the way your heartbeat never slows down» Minseok muttered, leaning his ear on Jongdae’s ribcage. «And you look out of breath.»

«Do I?» Jongdae murmured, but he already knew it. He sweated more than usual, he felt always tired, and he would start panting for every small thing, even a slow walk. «Do you know someone who can visit me?»

«I should have a good cardiologist’s name somewhere» Minseok said, looking through a folder of papers. «Drink some water and sit down.»

In that moment, the psychologist’s phone rang. «Can you answer, please?» Minseok asked, still busy looking for that telephone number.   
Jongdae pushed the green button. «Hello?»

«Hello, my name is Hyuk, you contacted me to know the price of a building you were interested in, am I correct?».

«Yes» Jongdae confirmed, excited. After looking carefully through the suitable ones, Minseok’s eyes lit up when they went visiting an old, grey building, probably an ex school or orphanage. It was spacious and had many rooms available, even a big court. «Here the boys could play» he whispered in Jongdae’s ear, his cheeks flushed, while the estate agent showed them around. 

«Well, after talking with the current owner, I confirm that the selling price is...» And the man told Jongdae a price. 

Jongdae wanted to speak, but his throat let out only a croaking sound. The price was too high, definitely too high. They would have needed a mortgage, and God only knew if it would be enough. «I...»

«What?» the man on the phone couldn’t hear him. «Are you okay?»

Then, his left arm began to hurt like hell, and Jongdae dropped the phone. «Hello? Hello?» he heard, before the device fell on the floor along with him.

«Jongdae!» Minseok cried out, scattering papers all around to rush at his boyfriend’s side. Jongdae’s vision was blurry, and the most horrible pain he ever felt started to spread from his arm to his chest. He could feel his furious heartbeat even on his tongue, since it was pounding so fast.

He believed he heard someone talk, asking for help – Minseok who called 911. And then he lost consciousness.

\--- 

When he woke up, he was in a hospital bed, with Minseok half asleep on a chair at his side. He groaned in discomfort: his wrist sported an IV which bothered him, since his hand was a little bent. 

«You’re awake» Minseok groggily said, shaking himself awake. He looked terribly tired, and Jongdae felt bad. It was all his fault. 

«How are you, baby?»

«How are _you_ » Minseok retorted, angry. «Didn’t I told you to get checked? You scared me to death. I thought you would die of heart attack.»

There were tears in his eyes, and Jongdae reached out to wipe them with his free arm. «I’m sorry» he murmured. «I’m so sorry I scared you so...»

«It’s okay» the other said, even if his eyes and nose went on leaking, «I already talked to the doctors. They said it’s a congenital heart disease. Nothing terrible, you just need to take a couple pills every day to stay healthy. Actually, we’ve been lucky it happened at home, while you weren’t alone.» He started sobbing. «Never, never scare me like this, okay? You have to take care of yourself.»

Jongdae pulled him to himself. «Thank you for saving my life.»

They cried together, out of relief. Later, Jongdae’s mother, called by the hospital, came to visit her son. When Jongdae saw her, he cringed, because Minseok was still in the room. When he told her he was dating him, she didn’t get angry or anything, but suddenly turned very, very _cold_. He was afraid she could start yelling at Minseok, but actually, the woman approached him first, after barely waving at her son.

«Are you Kim Minseok?»

«Yes» the man replied, cautiously. 

The woman stretched out her hand. «Thank you for your help.»

Minseok took her hand, mesmerized, and the woman suddenly pulled him in a killer hug. Jongdae watched from his bed, touched.

He knew their families would approve of them, sooner or later. He couldn’t wait to tell Minseok what he did before his heart decided to mess up with him: he booked a flight for Las Vegas, to get married. He even already bought the rings. And next step would be the foster home. He wanted it too, now. He had no more doubts about it. 

\--- 

«Do you think it will be alright?» Minseok was nervous, terribly nervous. He mopped all the floors, yelling at Jongdae if he even tried helping him, and he checked the room of their first guest so many times that it didn’t sport the tiniest speck of dust. The bed was ready, with immaculate white sheets, and in the big room at ground floor they gathered a lot of books, mangas, DVDs around the TV they bought at a second-hand shop.

«Calm down» Jongdae reassured him, «it will.»

It was late in the afternoon, when the boy finally arrived. The social assistant who was with him was a cold woman who handed Minseok a couple papers, made him sign them and then went away. Jongdae stared at the kid—a kid indeed, small, thin, wearing an old T-shirt with a big heart picture on it. His hair were tied in a small knot on top of his head, decorated with a pink bow. The boy was so scared he kept staring at the floor, keeping his hands curled into fists to prevent them from shaking, and Jongdae’s heart melted at the sight.

He looked no older than fifteen years old, and according to the social assistant he had been forced to become a prostitute. Silently, Minseok joined his side.

«Hello» Jongdae said, trying his best to smile. «I’m Jongdae, and this is Minseok.»

«Hello» the boy replied, in a tiny, tiny voice. «I’m Baekhyun.»

He stared at them, trying to understand if they would be a danger for him. «Are you hungry?» Jongdae asked. «Minseok is a good cook.»

«Do you like rice porridge?» Minseok gently asked, while the boy started to tear up. 

«Yes» he replied, polite in spite of his fear. Or was it relief? It was hard to tell. «Thank you.»

Something crashed inside of Jongdae, the last barrier, the last of his doubts. In front of that crying boy, he silently made his promise he would give his life for him and the others to come. «Come here, honey, don’t be scared» he gently encouraged him.

Baekhyun hesitated a little, watching him with big, fearful eyes. Then, he let the older man hug him tightly. «It’s going to be okay» Jongdae reassured him softly. He was so light and tiny, in his arms, he was almost scared he could hurt him. «Don’t cry.»

His eyes met Minseok’s, and he knew his husband loved him like no one else in the world.

\---oOo--- 

Jongdae kissed Minseok’s forehead, trying not to wake him up. He loved his husband so much. They shared so many things together, and they faced a lot of difficulties. 

«We’ll make it through this one as well» he whispered, «don’t worry, my love.»

Then he pulled the shorter man closer and held him, letting his warmth and his calm breath cradle him into sleep.


	12. How to save a life

«I never imagined I would miss school» Baekhyun complained. 

«Me too» Chanyeol grimly echoed. 

Sehun sighed, putting down the comic book he had been trying to read. «I know what you mean, guys» he said, «but you need to be patient.»

The day before, Chen and Xiumin told the boys how they were going to deal with Luhan’s matter. They would frame Minister Han for sexual harassment, psychological violence, threat and stalking. There was no way to say it differently: it would have been a long, tedious trial, since Han was powerful and could afford the best lawyers. Xiumin explained that they absolutely needed to get the trial performed in Korea, since it was less probable that Han could manage to corrupt the jury. Since the day when that man would have declared a culprit, the boys would need to stay hidden inside the foster home. 

«For your safety» Chen added, stating clearly, for the first time, that they were all in danger.

The boys, Sehun had to admit, took the news better than he would have expected. They would spent the long, boring days together more than usual, when they preferred staying in the dorm to hang out in small groups, talking, playing old boxed games or watching junk on TV. It was their friends’ way to show their sympathy to Luhan, and he found it really touching. Yi Fan was asked to stay with them as well, since Xiumin was frantic at the thought of him alone in his new flat.

Luhan wouldn’t leave his side, and Sehun was happy about it. He thought his boyfriend looked somehow different, after he finally told his story. He looked more adult, and there was a glow in his eyes and face that couldn’t be described with words. The thin wall that had always been there between them was finally gone. They had no secrets for each other, now. 

Sex was different as well.

«Baby» Sehun asked him, when they got in their room after a peaceful evening spent with the other boys, «would you like sleeping together, tonight?»

The Chinese boy looked at him quizzically. «Why?»

«I...» Sehun carefully chose the right words. «I don’t know. I thought that maybe you weren’t in the mood for it, after the things you told before.» If he were in Luhan’s shoes, he wouldn’t like having sex after remembering all the times he got abused, not even with the one he loved. Or at least he supposed he got sexually abused, since Luhan didn’t went in depth with unnecessary details.

Luhan stood in front of him, cupping Sehun’s face in his hands. «No need to blush» he murmured. «I think it’s considerate, of you, to ask.»

«Really?»

Luhan leaned over, placing a small kiss on Sehun’s lips. «At first I was afraid» he admitted. «When I saw you coming here and I started to know you, it felt weird, because I was finally attracted to someone after...» his voice trailed off, but the boy shook the sadness away, watching his lover with straight-forward eyes. «I didn’t know what to expect from you. “What if he’s just another asshole?” I kept repeating to myself. “What if he’ll just have fun with me?” But your eyes were so sincere, Sehun, and when I realized you were as scared as me, I finally decided you were worth my trust. Giving myself to you was the best decision I could ever take. Your touch... it felt so _healing_. I felt new, since I met you. And sometimes, I can even forget the horrible things that happened to me.»

Sehun felt his eyes swell with tears. «Don’t make me cry» he gruffly murmured, making Luhan smile. 

The boy reached out to stroke Sehun’s bangs away from his face. «You are so precious to me» he said. «You know it, right?»

And then, Sehun really lost it and started sobbing. He knew, sure he knew... but he never really had a confirmation for it. When Luhan hadn’t been speaking, many things were left untold. The feelings that moved their actions were somewhat clear, but one thing was guessing, another was being told. And Luhan never told Sehun he loved him before, at least not aloud.

«I love you, Sehun» Luhan sweetly confirmed, holding him while he cried, «you saved me. You saved my life, you know?»

Sehun didn’t know what to say. Every fucking word that would occur to him seemed wrong, out of place. He bent and kissed Luhan, unable to voice out the depth of his feeling.

«I love you too» he croaked, in the end. But it seemed inadequate as well, for an emotion like that.

«Come» Luhan urged him, pulling him towards the bed. 

Sehun fell on the old, creaking mattress along with him, making his lips slide from Luhan’s mouth to his neck. He was delighted to hear the boy groan softly when he sucked on a small patch of skin, leaving a faint red mark.

«I want to hear you» he whispered, feeling the thin hair stand on Luhan’s nape as he shivered, «your voice sounds so good.»

Luhan answered with a loud moan when Sehun gnawed at his collarbone. 

They made love at an excruciatingly slow pace, kissing, nipping, caressing each other’s body. Sehun took Luhan in his mouth, carefully tonguing the hard shaft before sucking on the swollen tip. 

«Sehun» Luhan begged, and the boy looked at him. He was sprawled on the white sheets, his legs slightly bent, his arms spread, his beautiful face deliciously flushed. He wanted him, and Sehun went wild at the mere thought of burying himself inside of that warm body.

He fished for a condom (he got a shitload of them at school, just in case), wearing it with trembling hands. Then he reached for Luhan’s bottle of massage oil. 

He took his time, pouring the scented oil over the boy’s skin, making his hands roam all over his chest, shoulders, arm and belly. Luhan quivered under his touch, his breath quickening its pace when Sehun’s hands reached his groin, palming his weeping cock before urging his thighs to part more. Luhan threw his head back when Sehun touched his twitching hole, reaching out to stroke himself with his own hand.

«Does it feel good?» Sehun mischievously asked, his lips against the tender flesh of Luhan’s hip, sending vibrations deep inside of his guts. 

«Ooh... don’t stop.»

Sehun worked Luhan open slowly, patiently, never breaking eye contact with him. When he aligned their bodies, he hovered over him, steadying himself on his right arm, while the other hand came to cup his lover’s cheek.

«I love you» he murmured, entering him one centimetre at a time, while Luhan let out a low, trembling sound.

When he was fully sheathed inside of him, he touched his forehead to the Chinese boy’s, waiting for him to adjust. 

«Make it last the longest you can» Luhan told him, and Sehun was more than ready to comply. He began a slow, careful pace, thrusting deeply but not fast enough to make any of them come. He caressed Luhan’s slick body, sliding a hand under his tailbone to lift him from the mattress.

«Oh God!» Luhan cried, bracing himself throwing an arm around Sehun’s neck, but the blonde never quickened his pace, keeping it regular and gentle. They kept staring at each other, lost in their loving gazes and tender gestures, until they both felt drowning in pleasure.

Sehun made sure Luhan came first, and he cried out in unison with him when he felt him clamp down on his cock, engulfed in the throes of his orgasm. They shuddered together, riding the wave, until Sehun fell on top of the smaller boy, spent.

«Luhan» he murmured, kissing his love’s chin. «This was... mmm.»

«Pretty accurate» Luhan commented, attempting a laugh but ending to yelp in discomfort when Sehun pulled out of him. 

«Are you in pain?»

«Just a little tender, that’s it.»

They cuddled together, closing their eyes. «Let’s do it again» Luhan said after a while.

«Wha... again?» Sehun marvelled. «Don’t you need to recover a bit?»

«No» Luhan stated, straddling Sehun with a swift motion. He ground his hips on the prone boy’s ones, teasing him, and Sehun groaned.

«Honestly, I don’t know if I have enough stamina for another round...»

«No need to be modest, baby» Luhan grinned, reaching behind to grab Sehun’s already half-rigid cock with his hand. 

So it all began anew. They made love again, Luhan on top of Sehun, riding the blonde’s cock hard. This time, they didn’t need to be slow and gentle, and they moved frantically, sweat-slicked skin smacking, tongues and lips working each other’s body like they both were in a craze. Sehun encouraged Luhan to voice his pleasure out, and the Chinese boy accomplished, throwing his head back, baring his slender throat and crying out in passion. They stopped for a second when the bed let out a very sinister thud.

«Did we just break the bed?» Luhan asked, panting.

«Do I look like I care?»

In the end, they made love all night long, taking only small breaks to doze off and recover. Sehun even ventured in the corridor barefoot to get something fresh to drink at the vending machine, cringing at the clinking sound the coins made when he inserted them, and he could hear Luhan’s giggles from their room. 

The persecution from Han’s men didn’t stop, though, especially when they received the letter from the courthouse, stating that their trial request had been examined and approved. The date had already been set.

Once, Kyungsoo went in the court to gather some fresh herbs for lunch, and he had to rush inside immediately because he noticed some weird dude staring at him from the street with a small camera. Another time, Chen found an offensive writing on the van’s windshield, and Sehun felt a little sick on his stomach when he saw the man scrubbing it away with a sponge early in the morning. The boys got really scared, though, when once someone threw a few stones through the common room’s window, hitting Chanyeol on his head. Nothing a bag of ice couldn’t cure, but after the episode the atmosphere in the foster home changed sensibly. Xiumin and Chen recommended the boys to roll down the shutters and to stay away from the windows. Also, they were told to switch their personal phones off: they would use just the old telephone in the common room to communicate with their families. Xiumin asked his parents to move a certain amount of money from his bank account to another, since he grew worried because the one he usually used had been blocked for unknown reasons. 

Sehun was surprised that Luhan didn’t seem scared of all those things, maybe still basking in the relief and in the good feeling of venting his fears to them. The other boys, on the other hand, weren’t so keen on accepting all that torment without saying a word, even if they all accepted to support their friend in his legal battle.

«I’m terribly scared, actually» Baekhyun admitted to Sehun, once, «but Xiumin is right: we’re a family, and a family does its things together. They want us to split, this is why they keep torturing us this way.»

«There’s one thing I don’t really get. I was sure Luhan would be the most worried, because of all this... but he keeps a straight face, in spite of all the shit happening to us lately.»

Baekhyun looked at him, shaking his head. «It’s because you have been lucky and you haven’t tasted violence on your skin. Luhan knows what Han’s capable of... and the fact that he’s not really impressed with all these acts might imply that he suffered really awful things from that man.»

This was Sehun’s turn to shake his head. «When I tried asking, Luhan wouldn’t tell me what Han did to him exactly» he explained. «Along with Xiumin and Chen, we believed he was raped, but we can’t be sure.»

«Don’t force him» Baekhyun softly advised him, «I’m sure he’ll tell when the time comes.»

«It’s not that I want to know» Sehun retorted, «it’s that he would need to tell the jury, if the question comes. And since he doesn’t seem to tell us either, I’m afraid we could lose the trial, if he continues refusing.»

«I guess we just need to trust him» Baekhyun murmured, but he didn’t look convinced, and Sehun sighed. The date set for the trial was at the end of the month, which left a good ten days of torment for them. Xiumin and Chen were worried for the food, since none of them would be safe going out to shop, and they had to pay a company to get canned food delivered, because they really couldn’t afford fresh. They apologized to the boys, but none of them complained. 

That day, Sehun decided to call his mother. He glanced around uncomfortably while dialling the number at the old phone, because he didn’t like having people around when he called. When he heard his mother’s voice, though, he immediately felt better.

«Hello mom.» He swallowed down the lump in his throat. _I won’t cry_ , he imposed to himself. «I have some news to tell.»

He told her everything, using very simple words and putting it down without euphemisms. He could almost picture the woman’s startled face as she listened, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes wide. «Honey, did I get it alright? Are you in danger?»

«I am afraid so» Sehun replied, sincere. «But Xiumin and Chen won’t let anything bad happen to any of us. I just thought... you needed to be informed of this situation.»

«Thank you, sweetie. I’ll pray for you both... for you and Luhan, I mean. I’m sure he’ll do fine at the trial and that that bad guy will go to jail.»

«Yeah, that kind of is our plan» Sehun confirmed. _Or at least what we hope._ «Did you hear from dad?»

He would ask from time to time, but every time his mother would answer that no, she didn’t hear anything. Sehun wasn’t really expecting anything different this time as well, so he jumped when his mother surprised him.

«Yes» she said, sounding somewhat shaken. «I went to the rehab clinic to meet him, with a social assistant accompanying me. He wasn’t happy to see me.»

Sehun felt his guts clench. He hadn’t thought a single time of his father, in the last few days. «How did he look? Depressed?»

«No, actually, he looked more like... aggressive. He kept swearing, and he insulted me. The social assistant tried to make him calm down, but then she just brought me back home. It was impossible to talk normally with him. He seemed to be furious because he believed I was the one who caused his confinement at the rehab centre. It might be true, in a certain measure, but...»

«Mom» Sehun warned her, «I can’t stay on the phone for long. The others need to call home as well.»

«Anyway» his mother added, talking faster not to waste any time, «the day after he was given the permission to call me, saying that he was sorry, and that it was just an outburst of anger. Apparently, staying at that place is having a terrible effect on his nerves.»

«See? Nothing to worry about.» Sehun glanced back, seeing Joonmyeon waiting a couple metres away from him, waving at him and mimicking a pair of scissors with his fingers. «I’m sorry, mom, I have to leave you, now. Please, don’t worry for us. We’re going to make it.»

«Okay. I love you, sweetheart.»

Sehun bravely swallowed his tears. He would have killed someone, to be able to have his mother by his side, in a moment like that. «I love you.»

Days kept passing. One night, Luhan stood while everyone was gathered around the table, silently eating some tuna and rather stale bread. They were in the darkness, with just a few candles lit on the table, because on that day the lights went off and never returned, as well as the telephone line. They were isolated.

«I’d like to say a thing, if you let me.»

The others watched him silently, and the boy went on. «I’d like to thank all of you for being so kind to me, and I promise one thing. If, as I think, I will win the legal action against Han, I’ll donate the money from the compensation to the foster home, to get my debt paid.»

«But there’s no need, dear» Xiumin weakly protested, but Sehun knew better. The psychologist’s heart ached, seeing his children suffer, he was sure of it. And Luhan’s promise was so very appealing, to him.

«Yeah, there’s no need» Tao surprisingly echoed. 

«That’s right.»

«Don’t worry, Luhan.»

«It’s okay.»

The boys’ agreement words spread all around, and Sehun looked at his boyfriend, afraid that he might lose it in front of that touching display of sympathy and understanding. But Luhan surprised him with his strength, when he just smiled at everyone, saying quietly that he loved all of them and was grateful for their support.

Late at night, Sehun showed Luhan the short video of the school play that Tao sent him previously. The Chinese boy looked at his younger self while he sang his heart out, then, softly, began to sing along the small child on the screen. His voice was really lovely, Sehun thought, and he was about to tell him, when he heard a choked sob, and he noticed that Luhan was crying.

«Sehun» he murmured, «please, I need to tell someone. Would you listen to me? To the most unpleasant part of me?»

Sehun immediately understood that he was referring to the tortures Han inflicted to him, and he nodded in spite of the knot that formed in his throat. Was he ready to hear Luhan’s confession? And what if it would haunt his dreams for long, making him lose his sleep, or worse? Well, it was for Luhan, he reminded to himself. And for Luhan, it was his duty to accept everything of him.

He took him in his arms while they curled up under the comforter. Slowly, one pained word at a time, Luhan told Sehun every sordid detail. By the end of it, the Chinese boy looked at him, his face a mask of worry and scare. 

«Are you okay?» he anxiously asked.

Sehun tried to nod, but his body overtook him. He rushed to the bathroom, emptying his stomach into the toilet. Luhan knelt to his side, keeping Sehun’s hair away from his forehead while he retched and rubbing gentle circles on his back. When he stopped spitting, Sehun realised that the boy was crying.

«I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.»

«No» Sehun croaked, rinsing his mouth with minty mouthwash, « _he_ should be sorry. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive that man for what he...» He couldn’t finish the sentence, because he suddenly met Luhan’s big, desperate eyes. «Come» he said instead, pulling the boy in a tight embrace. «Thank you for telling me, baby» he murmured, «thank you so much.»

Luhan was shaking, but his eyes were dry like he had no tears left to shed. «I’m afraid I won’t be able to tell the judge anything of this. It’s too painful.»

«I’ll be there with you» Sehun reassured him, «at the courthouse. I won’t leave you alone, and Xiumin and Chen will be there too.»

«I’m so scared» Luhan finally admitted, broken. «What if I won’t manage to tell a single word in front of that man? The mere thought of seeing him turns me into a quivering mess. He killed my mother in cold blood. He’s... so frightening to me...»

Sehun held him so tightly he could bruise him. «I said» he repeated, «I won’t leave you alone.»

That night, when he went to the kitchen to make some warm herbal tea to help Luhan fall asleep, he felt some rustling next to the window, and then he heard the familiar sound of a rock being thrown through the glass. Paying attention to bend down not to be seen, he picked it up, seeing it sported a piece of paper wrapped around. He sprawled it: _bunch of fags_ was written in a terrible Korean inside. Anger took over him, making him forget about safety and making him grab the pen Xiumin always kept by the calendar hanging on the wall. He wrote an offensive sentence on the other side of the paper, then he wrapped it around the rock and he threw it out of the window with a quick motion, going flat on the floor afterwards to shield himself. He believed he heard a yelp of pain and a curse in an unknown language, and he felt jubilant while he rolled down the window shutter.

«I think I heard a noise» Luhan told him when he returned in their room with the tea, «are you okay?»

«Yup. I threw a rock at one of those assholes.»

«You did what?!»

«You heard it» Sehun calmly stated, handing him the balsamic-smelling tea, «why don’t you ask me what I wrote on it?»

«What... what did you write?» Luhan hesitatingly asked, taking the cup in his hands to warm them. 

Sehun smiled. «Bunch of pigs.» He said it in Chinese.

Luhan’s eyes widened, and then he suddenly started laughing, the cup spilling its contents everywhere. «What’s so funny?» Sehun asked, stunned.

«You wrote “bunch of flowers” on it?»

«Oh my God. I am shit at Chinese, am not I? I wanted to write something insulting, and I was pretty sure it was correct... it must have been the adrenaline.»

Luhan took a sip from the cup, still snorting. «You’re so cute» he said. «Mmm... delicious.»

He fell asleep after a couple hours, leaning his head over Sehun’s chest. The blonde boy lulled him to sleep, talking to him softly until Luhan’s eyes closed and his breath slowed down.

He would have taken care of him, he swore to himself. The trial was approaching near.


	13. Twisted bonds

The day of the trial, Sehun got up at six in the morning, half an hour before the alarm. He shook Luhan awake, noticing with relief that he seemed to have slept for a good part of the night. Sehun stayed awake for a while to keep him company, but in the end he couldn’t make it and just closed his eyes. Chen came to bring them some cookies late in the evening to help them sleep. «I would have brought milk, but we ran out of it» the man justified himself, trying his best to smile broadly as usual. The truth was that he was nervous, just like everyone of them. Xiumin’s hands were shaking, while he served them breakfast, that morning.

«Please guys, return as soon as you can» Baekhyun said, when the four of them were ready to leave. «I don’t know why, but I don’t feel safe, with this unknown dude around.»

Xiumin fixed the boy’s fringe, an affectionate, motherly gesture. «You have to be patient» he reassured him, «he’s a professional bodyguard. He’ll protect you guys until our return, and well, I think you’ll be safer with him that with us. The agency told us he’s very discreet. Just do your normal things like on an average day, and you’ll barely notice his presence.»

Baekhyun didn’t look fully convinced, but he hugged Xiumin tightly before nodding and grinning. In the end, Xiumin had to ask his parents for a loan in order to pay a private bodyguard provided by an agency, to make sure Han’s henchmen wouldn’t mess with the boys who would have waited for them at the foster home. Chen and him debated for long about if one of them was supposed to stay behind with the others, but in the end they agreed that none of them wanted to miss the trial. Luhan would have needed all the support they could provide. 

Xiumin tried to convince Sehun to stay at home with the others. «Maybe it’s better this way» he told him.

«No way, I promised.»

«I see» the psychologist murmured, unable to hide his nervousness. «I don’t know what worries me more, your friends alone at home, with someone I don’t even know that is supposed to protect them, or the terrible trial we are about to face.»

In that moment, the steps creaked in the staircase, and Luhan slowly descended towards them. He was wearing his school uniform, since the lawyer who was in charge of their cause advised him to pay attention not to put on anything too flashy or fashionable. According to him, appearance was everything, to conquer the jury’s favour. Luhan would have needed to look young, cute and innocent, and what could be better than his clothes as a student to give an impression like that?

He was a little pale, but his expression was collected. Sehun grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly, and the corner of Luhan’s mouth barely twitched.

Shit, he was upset. This was no good. The lawyer, who sounded very young on the phone, but was supposedly good at his job, told that the jury would have responded well to Luhan if he gave the impression of a suffering but collected and mature boy. There was more than a slight chance that Han’s lawyers would accuse Luhan of being mentally disabled, since he spent so many time refusing to talk, and he also warned them not to lose their composure in front of any accusation, even if absurd or particularly harsh. «They’ll bash at us with every means» he stated. «We need to get, I apologize for being harsh, the jury’s pity. If we tune up with its members, we’ll make it.» Sehun didn’t like it, the whole pity concept seemed odd, as if they were trying to deceive the jury. In his opinion, Luhan didn’t need anyone’s pity, just their understanding. He had been victimized for years, damn it! But he was also aware that his story was so extreme that it would have been judged unbelievable by a large amount of people, so Taemin was right.

«Did you bring your emergency pills with you?» Xiumin asked Chen, when he joined them. 

«Yes» the man replied, watching as the psychologist fussed over some non-existent crinkles in the front of his shirt. 

«I spent twenty minutes to iron it, last night, and it took just a few seconds for you to fuck it up!»

The boys shivered, lowering their eyes on their cups. Xiumin never used bad words unless the shit was very deep. 

«Calm down» Chen quietly told him, «you’ll startle the kids.»

Xiumin bit on his lip, then he just let his husband kiss his forehead. «Have faith. It’s going to be alright.»

Sehun noticed that Baekhyun was staring at that little exchange of affection with a touched expression. He knew he was very attached to the couple, and from what he told him, he believed that he had the intention to remain at the foster home even after turning legal, since he felt so grateful to Xiumin and Chen for taking care of him.

Sehun hugged him and Chanyeol tightly, as well as Tao. «Go and kick ass, tiger» the Chinese boy said, making him chuckle. Joonmyeon and Yixing waved him goodbye, keeping their gazes downcast, and that sight didn’t fail to sadden Sehun. The night before, the lawyer stated very clearly that, if the jury would favour Han, Luhan would be framed for calumny and blackmail, and since he was still a minor, the punishment would fall back on Xiumin and Chen, who were considered his legal tutors. So, Sehun wouldn’t be mad at them, if they refused to hug him or Luhan. To Joonmyeon and Yixing, who technically weren’t orphans but never really knew the love of a true family, they were like parents, and they couldn’t stand the thought of losing them.

In the end, they got on a car provided by the bodyguard agency. Chen sat on the passenger’s seat, while Xiumin awkwardly took place in the middle of the two younger boys. At a certain moment, Sehun felt the man’s hand grip his one tightly, and he saw that Luhan was holding the other. He squeezed it, trying to ease his breath.

The lawyer was waiting for them at the rear entry of the courthouse.

«Hello, I’m Taemin» he greeted them, bowing respectfully. He was young and good-looking, and Sehun found himself wondering if he would really be able to handle such a difficult case. «Luhan, I’m positive we will succeed in winning the legal action, today. Just leave everything to me.»

Luhan took the man’s hand, shaking it weakly. His determination was beginning to fall apart, and Sehun couldn’t blame him. The courthouse was enormous, and the trial room was big and intimidating. A lot of people was gathered in the public, and many reporters holding their cameras and recording devices were present as well, since Han was a politician and had the reputation of a philanthropist. Their forced isolation in the last few days prevented them from watching TV and gather all the speculations over the infamous accusation that dirtied Han’s name. In the end, Sehun believed they had just been lucky, because many people seemed to be convinced that Luhan was just a gold digger who was trying to get Han’s money. Cutting their electricity away, Han’s men actually did them a favour, sparing them from all the trash that was spreading about Luhan.

Said Luhan was now trembling under the many flashes of the reporter’s cameras, paler than ever. Sehun would have liked to sit by his side, but Taemin told him, Xiumin and Chen to sit some rows behind. It was torture, seeing his boyfriend so restless without being able to do anything for him, but thanks God Taemin seemed to know how to push the right buttons with Luhan. After a bit of initial awkwardness, in fact, the two began to speak to each other, and the lawyer kept smiling at the boy, effectively reassuring him. Sehun felt a little better at that sight.

Things drastically changed when minister Han entered the room, followed by not only one but two lawyers. Sehun didn’t really know how Luhan’s torturer looked, since he never looked for him on the internet or never paid attention at his name on newspapers or on TV. He kind of expected an old, fat man, somewhat the epitome of perversion and sickness. Surprisingly, Han was younger than he thought, probably around his parents’ age, and something in his juvenile features even reminded him of Luhan’s delicate traits. They were really related, this could be evident for anyone... and he cringed, when he heard the cheers that resonated all around. The audience was all for Han, nobody was there to support Luhan, who looked tiny and helpless at his desk.

The two Chinese lawyers and Taemin coldly shook hands, then the young lawyer immediately joined Luhan’s side, whispering something at his ear. The boy, whose back seemed to have hunched forward when he saw the Chinese politician come in, straightened his back and took a deep breath.

 _You can do it, baby_ Sehun silently encouraged him. _I’m with you._

The jury members took their seats, and then the judge made his appearance. She was a mature woman on her sixties, strict-looking and with small, icy black eyes. Her very presence seemed enough to make all the people in the room shut up immediately.

«Today we shall discuss the case of student Luhan charging minister Xihan of murder, sexual harassment, psychological violence, aggravated threat and stalking.» She quickly exposed the important details in Luhan’s personal story, the tortures, the murder, the continuous stalking until the decision to charge his uncle. Sehun shivered at the woman’s cold way of talking without showing the faintest emotion. On her lips, Luhan’s sufferance seemed to be something very ordinary. He refused to think she already got corrupted. 

«Let’s hear first from student Han’s legal, Mr Taemin.»

«Thank you, your honour, I will be quick.» 

Taemin stood facing the jury, putting the mic in front of his mouth. «When the boy who’s sitting next to me, who is only seventeen years old, told me his story, I couldn’t believe it. Honestly, I refused to think a human being could do something so awful to another one. There’s a precise word for this kind of against-nature acts, and that would be paedophilia. Student Luhan, who is the son of the dear departed minister Han, wasn’t able to see the lion beneath the lamb disguise of who he believed was nobody but his loving uncle. Minister Han targeted him after his father’s death, when he was barely a teenager, and would make him the object of his perverted sexual fantasies. At the same time, he started a relationship with Luhan’s mother, and they regularly saw each other until the woman found out about Han’s sick attentions for her son and decided to stop seeing him. I’m sure you all remember the bloody episode that followed afterwards: the woman was found death in a pool of her own blood, with Luhan by her side, shocked and covered in blood. This poor boy had to be sent to Korea to recover after the terrible trauma he underwent, and he found the courage to frame his tormenter just now.»

«Objection!» one of Han’s lawyers shouted, and Xiumin bolted in his seat next to Sehun, but the judge barely scrunched her nose at him.

«Rejected. Mr Taemin, you can proceed.»

«Thank you, your honour. As you can read from the medical papers I provided for all of you, when Luhan had been taken in the care of Kim Minseok, a psychologist specialised in adolescents’ care who runs a foster home for boys, he showed signs of physical and mental abuse and weighed barely forty-five kilograms. He was too scared of putting his protector and his fellows in danger, if he dared to open his mouth to charge minister Han for his mother’s murder, so he didn’t talk, to the point that Mr Kim started even to believe that his brain could have been somehow damaged by his tormenter. Because at least _this_ was evident: Luhan was a victim, there was no doubt about it.»

«Objection!»

«Rejected» the judge coldly repeated. «Is that all, Mr Taemin?»

The lawyer bowed. «With your permission, your honour, I’ve a few things to add.»

«You can proceed» the woman allowed him, but she looked annoyed. Taemin’s summation had been good, but she didn’t look involved by it the tiniest bit. 

«When he came to Korea, Luhan started to feel better. Thanks to Mr Kim’s care, he recovered and was able to resume going to school, getting very good grades. His relief, though, didn’t last long, because the foster home Luhan was staying at became the target of the most unpleasant acts of threat. Vandalism, stalking, phone calls... it’s all in the dossier I provided to you, ladies and gentlemen, and I think it talks by itself. Someone knew that Luhan had many things to tell, and was effectively trying to prevent him from revealing them.» Taemin stopped, making a dramatic pause, then he pointed his finger. «We suspect that the mastermind behind all this is the man sitting there, the beloved minister Han.» 

The public burst into an uproar, and the judge hammered on her desk. «I demand silence» she said.

Then, it was the turn of the first of Han’s lawyers. The man began a long speech explaining all the commitment of Han about charity projects. Was it possible that such a man could be responsible of the kind of despicable deeds that Taemin exposed beforehand? 

Sehun looked at Luhan, and he noticed that the boy’s eyes were closed and his face contracted. He didn’t want to look at Han, he realized. He had been avoiding to look towards him since he entered the trial room. Also, his breathing seemed to be speeding up, like it always did when he was upset. Next to him, Xiumin had been mumbling softly for a while, and when he listened, Sehun noticed that he was praying. Maybe it was the last thing they could do to help Luhan, he thought.

Han’s lawyer was still speaking. Luhan’s past was obscure. He might have been a good student, but surely was against his mother and Han’s relationship since the beginning. He was a problematic kid, and never accepted Han as a member of his family. Han was sure Luhan’s ungrateful and resentful personality depended by his father’s early death when he was still a child. Han’s lawyer added that Luhan’s mental condition dropped after his mother’s death, bringing him to a state of severe depression, to the point that the poor boy refused to eat and to talk to anyone. Han was more than willing to keep him under his protective wing, but he half-heartedly decided to send him to an unknown location in Korea by the advice of a psychologist. The lawyer concluded that Han was even willing to forgive Luhan for his accusations, since he perfectly understood the mind of a teen who suffered so terribly during his short life, and he was inclined to help him economically in his studies if he wanted to attend a prestigious school in China. Han was also sorry because he heard that Mr Kim, the man who is in charge of the foster home, was currently engaged in a relationship to a man, and everyone knows what kind of influence this can have on the mouldable mind of an already disturbed youth. To Han, Luhan had never been anything different than a dear son, and he never wished for anything but his wellbeing.

«God help us» Chen breathed, pale, and Sehun knew what he meant. Taemin’s plan, which seemed to have the potential to work well, turned over them, and the faces of the jury’s members spoke clearly. They were pitying Luhan, exactly as they wanted them too... except that it was in favour of Han. To them, Luhan was nothing but a pitiful leech trying to get the philanthropist’s money.

And Luhan knew it too, given that he was sitting unmoving, pale as a washed rag. Sehun’s heart, body and soul were aching for him.  
The jury’s members were murmuring to each others, looking at the boy and at the charming politician, while the judge looked through some papers on her desk. «Now, let’s hear from student Han» she stated.

 _Come on, destroy that pig and all his lies_ Sehun silently suggested to Luhan.

Under the whole room’s staring gazes, the boy bent his head and looked at the floor, keeping his mouth tightly shut.

«No» Xiumin whimpered, «no, no, no...»

Sehun was dumbstruck. His mind was frozen, he couldn’t think straight. He was there, looking at Luhan being slowly swallowed by his own maelstrom of misery, and he could do nothing to help him. And thinking that they acted all high and mighty, before, boasting about how they would have won the trial.

He watched in agony as Luhan dug his own grave.

Taemin leaned over to whisper something at the boy’s ear, but he didn’t react. The audience began to react, shouting and insulting him. Chen stood up, looking angrily behind, but Xiumin urged him on his seat. «Please» he begged, «we have to trust him.»

Sehun wasn’t religious. He hated going to church, he never felt the real need to ask God anything until that day. Without thinking twice, he clasped his hands together and he prayed for Luhan to overcome his biggest fear. It all depended by him.

The judge was watching Luhan intensely. «Student Luhan» she urged him, «you need to say something.»

Taemin kept stroking Luhan’s back in reassuring circles, hoping to make the boy calm down, but he was still keeping his gaze downcast, refusing to raise it.

Sehun looked at Han, and he noticed that the politician smirked. It lasted for the tiniest moment, but he was sure of it: that man was already tasting his victory.

He stood, startling Chen and Xiumin. «Luhan!» he shouted. «You need to speak! Luhan!»

«Silence» the judge coldly ordered, hitting the desk with her hammer, but Sehun didn’t listen. Hearing his voice, Luhan lifted his chin, turning to look at him with big, frightened eyes.

«Luhan, you can’t let him win! Remember what you told me!» 

«Sehun, stop!» Chen tried to make him reason, «you’ll just make things worse.»

«Someone makes that boy shut up!» the judge roared, furious, and a couple guards detached from the wall they were leaning against, ready to take Sehun out of the room. When they approached him, Xiumin started to yell at them.

«What do you think you’re doing? He’s just a boy! Don’t touch him.» 

«I said» the judge shouted, «SILENCE!»

The whole room obeyed, as if she operated some sort of charm. Her rage was absolutely scary, even if she was a rather small woman. 

«Student Luhan» she went on, staring at the boy, «I understand this is especially difficult, but I’m sorry to insist, you need to speak up for yourself.»

Sehun fell on his seat, almost boneless. He couldn’t believe it: the _judge_ , of all the people crowding the room, was being kind to Luhan, as if... 

«She’s with us» Chen whispered, holding Sehun’s hand. «I can’t believe it. We have a chance, we really have it.»

Looking tiny and harmless in his chair, Luhan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The silence, now, was so thick Sehun’s ears were beginning to buzz.

In his own seat, Han shifted uncomfortably. 

«I’m sorry, your honour» Luhan began, in a soft voice, «I shall begin, now.» 

Slowly, Taemin moved the microphone so that Luhan could speak into it. «I...» he said, hesitating, trying to choose the right words, «I came to Korea almost a year ago, and I’m grateful I was given the possibility to do it. My family in China had ceased to exist, my very life seemed useless, to me.» Luhan’s delicate face twisted in distress, and Sehun ached for him. A few ladies in the jury, though, seemed to listen attentively at him, maybe captivated by his innocent looks and evident pain. «I won’t repeat what my lawyer said, because it’s all true, as well as something that Mr... Mr Han’s lawyer stated. The most part of his speech, though, it’s false.» He paused, raising his gaze to look at the judge, who stared back at him, focused. Then, Luhan turned to look straight into Han’s eyes. 

Sehun’s breath hitched. He wasn’t expecting anything of this, as well as he would have never expected the startled expression that surfaced on Han’s face. 

«I will never accept his economical help, as well as his promise to take me under his wing. Being the man who killed my mother, to me it’s just hypocrisy.»

The audience started making noise again, and the judge had to ask for silence. Luhan averted his piercing gaze from Han, trying to make order into his thoughts.

«It’s true, I suffered terribly after my father’s departure. I was an only son, my family was rich and I was spoiled too, now I fully understand it. To me, my uncle was an imposter, when he tried to snatch some of my mother’s love from me. He never really liked him, for reasons I can’t explain... but I would never regret telling my mother to stay away from him, when I found out he was being violent to her, hitting her and treating her like an object. When he understood I was trying to convince her to end their relationship, Han began to torture me. I was training to become a professional singer, at that time, even if he wouldn’t waste a single occasion to tell me how he hated the sound of my voice. Once he came into my room while I was practising and he tore to pieces all my music sheets. And when I tried singing in spite of it...» Luhan’s eyes went wide and he choked on a sob. Taemin held his shoulder, while the judge gently urged him. 

«Yes?»

Luhan took a shaky breath, trying to detach himself from his nightmares. «He shoved me into a wall and he forced me to engage in a sexual act with him. “At least you’ll shriek and moan for a good reason, now”, he said.» 

Sehun felt his eyes swell. He knew that part, since Luhan already told him. But one thing was hearing it while they were in their room, safe in each other’s arms, another was hearing it in a crowded place, under the reporters’ cameras and the judging stares of many unknowns. He looked at the two men sitting beside him. Xiumin’s expression was pained, but his eyes were still dry. To his surprise, Chen was the one who was silently tearing up, his body shaking with the sobs.

He leaned over the man’s bony shoulder, trying to give him some comfort.

«That was only the first time he physically abused of me» Luhan went on, almost unable to stop, now. «He did it many other times, until my mother found out. She endured a lot because I believe she was afraid of being alone, but she couldn’t tolerate that her boyfriend laid his hands on her only son. She threatened to dump him, and he killed her with a baseball bat in exchange.» Luhan took another shaky breath. «I remember it perfectly. I went out with some friends, and when I returned home, I found him, standing over my mom’s dead body, which was covered in blood. “You wanted your mother, didn’t you?” he yelled. He looked like a monster, with her blood all splattered over his expensive clothes. “Go to her!” He grabbed me and he pushed me over, making me fall right on top of her. She was still warm, and I began to cry. He kicked me, trying to send me rolling on the floor, but I grabbed her, unwilling to let go. She was my mom, and we both struggled for so long, because of our torturer. It was in that moment, when he laughed at me and left, that I decided that it was over.» He swallowed, wiping a tear at the corner of his eye. «I didn’t want to fight anymore» he whispered in the mic, «to me, Han succeeded in destroying all that remained of me. I decided to shut my mouth, and not to open it again, for any reason. It all began with my voice, after all. Maybe, if I had never sung, my mother would still have been alive.»

He covered his face with his hands and started to cry. Nobody, not even the most hardened sceptic, would have ever believed he was acting. His sobs were hearth wrenching, and Sehun was crying with him.

«Is it all?» the judge kindly asked.

Luhan shook his head, accepting a tissue from Taemin. «Just a small clarification. Previously, Han’s lawyer stated that Kim Minseok, the psychologist who took care of me in Korea, is a questionable man.» He turned, meeting Xiumin’s gaze. «Please, don’t believe him. I wanted nothing but dying, when I came at his foster home, but he never gave up with me. He believed in me, and it’s just thanks to him, if I’m still alive. I’ll be always thankful, to him and his husband.»

Sehun watched as Xiumin clutched Chen’s hand, gripping at it with sheer force. It was true, he thought. He operated a real miracle, with Luhan. And it was all thanks to his kind heart, his loyalty and his commitment.

«Let’s hear from minister Han, now» the judge coldly stated.

The calm, collected man who entered the trial room that morning wasn’t there anymore. While Luhan was talking, he turned into something else. Something terrible.

«You little fucker» he spat, in Chinese, shaking of rage, «you little, spiteful shit...»

His two lawyers had to prevent him from throwing himself at Luhan, who was watching him wide-eyed from his seat. The judge called for the guards, and Han was forced to leave the trial room. When he was being guided outside, the man never stopped insulting Luhan.

The judge went away, as well as the jury’s members. Some of them smiled at Luhan while going out of the room, and Sehun was positive they had already won.

«Luhan» he murmured, when they were given the permission to join the Chinese boy’s side.

«I’m sorry» he said, with a sheepish little smile, «I was so scared I almost messed up everything...»

«You were great» Xiumin trembling complimented him. He opened his mouth to add something, but tears began to fall again, preventing him from talking, and then he just pulled the boy into a tight embrace. Chen threw his arms around the two of them, holding them, and Sehun leaned over, squeezing himself under the man’s arm.

Hugging those he loved, he let out a shaky breath.

\---oOo---

When they returned home, the atmosphere in the car was jubilant. «We did it» Xiumin chirped, so happy he looked like he could start to jump at any moment. «I still can’t believe it. We did it. We’re free.»

«Yes» Sehun agreed, proud. Luhan was half-asleep, all curled up against him in the rear seat. When the jury declared they confirmed all of Han’s accusations, and the judge condemned him for murder, Luhan’s knees gave up, and Taemin caught him just in time not to let him fall on the floor. He underwent a tremendous stress, and he was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open.

«I will tell the others» Chen announced, grabbing his phone.

«Let me do it» Sehun said, switching it on. He was about to text Baekhyun, when he noticed he had several unanswered calls, all from his mother.

«Mom!» he said, when he called her, «we did it! Han will be sent to jail!»

«Sehun» the woman interrupted him, «where are you?»

«I’m on my way for the foster home, mom, why?» Sehun was perplexed. His mother sounded weird, almost... «Mom» he asked, in horror, «why are you crying?»

«Sehun, please, don’t go there. You need to get somewhere safe. Your father came today and...»

Sehun’s heart sank. «Isn’t he supposed to be at the rehab centre?» And then, quick as a thunder, a rapid series of thoughts hit him one by one. _He was furious. He did something stupid. He ran away from the clinic. He went to mom... and now he went looking for me._ «Where is he, mom?» he shouted in the phone. Luhan peeled his eyes open, looking at him confusedly. 

The woman kept crying, desperate. «He’s at the foster home. He has a gun... I don’t know where he got it...»

«Xiumin» Sehun cried out, «the others are in danger. My dad is at the foster home, and he has a gun.»

«I’m calling the police» Chen immediately said, dialling the number. Luhan clung to Sehun, paralyzed by sheer terror.

When they arrived, the scene that displayed under their eyes was incredible. Sehun ran out of the car first, smashing the door open. 

His friends were all sitting on the floor, their hands on their heads in a helpless position. The man who was supposed to watch over them was lying a bit afar, his eyes closed. And a man with a gun, someone he barely recognized, was comfortably sitting on the couch, waiting for him.

«Hello Sehunie» he greeted him, waving with the gun he was holding. «Missed ya.»

«Dad» Sehun whispered. «What are you doing to my friends?»

«You’re so cold, just like your mother. You haven’t seen me for such a long time and you don’t even say hello. Such an ungrateful kid.»

«Dad» Sehun insisted. «Please, don’t tell me the man on the floor is dead.»

«Dunno. Didn’t check.»

Sehun had the feeling he was walking into a dream. This was too much, too quick, too unreal to grasp. Then, this simply wasn’t happening, he was sure of it. It just... couldn’t be true. «Dad, why you are drunk?»

«Sehunie» the man slurred, standing up on his staggering feet, «we need to talk. Why the fuck did you stay in this shitty place without telling your daddy? Is that bitch of your mother who told you not to tell me?»

«Dad, please» Sehun begged, spotting Baekhyun’s terrified face, «you’re scaring my friends. Put that gun away.»

«You still don’t understand, do you? I had to run from that place like a criminal, to get here, and now you’re already telling me to get the fuck away?»

«I didn’t tell this dad, please...»

«You know a thing, Sehunie? Fuck you. Just like your mother. Go fuck yourself.»

And the man pointed the gun at him.

This is not happening, Sehun thought, when he heard the gunshot. This bullet won’t hurt me, since this is just some sort of hallucination. He barely noticed someone pushing him away, sending him fall straight into Luhan’s arms.

Something fell on the floor with a dull thud, and a blood curling scream shook him from his apathy. All he saw, before his own vision started to get blurry, was Xiumin lying down, the front of his shirt drenched in blood, and Chen taking him into his arms, his mouth agape and the most horrible sounds Sehun ever heard escaping from his throat.

The police’s sirens could already be heard, while Sehun’s father, his gaze unfocused, slowly pointed the gun at his own temple and fired.


	14. Moving on

Sehun’s knees gave up completely as he fell on the floor. Luhan took him into his arms, holding him tight and making him lean his head in the crook of his neck. «Don’t watch» he whispered to him, his own voice broken, «please, don’t watch.» But Sehun could hear nothing. He felt like once, when he was still little, and he went to the seaside with his family, when they were still happy. While he was playing in the water, he accidentally slipped under the surface, and everything became blurry. Like that time, his eyes burned and his chest hurt, while he was enveloped in a cocoon of silence.

«How is he?» a man asked, kneeling down next to him to feel his pulse. 

«I don’t know» he heard Luhan answer, but his voice sounded far, like in a dream. A nightmare. «He won’t reply to me.»

«Let’s take him to the hospital as well» the man curtly stated, grabbing Sehun by his elbow. The boy limped like a disarticulated doll, while the paramedics made him lie on a stretcher and carried him away. He caught glimpse of a shape hidden under a big white sheet, but he immediately averted his eyes. He didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to think about anything.

He closed his eyes.

\---oOo---

When he woke up, Luhan was dozing off, sitting on a chair by his bed, his head resting on his hand. Sehun moved a little, and the boy peeled his eyes open.

«You’re awake» he murmured. «Does it hurt somewhere? Shall I call a nurse?»

Sehun slowly shook his head, while reality hit him like a truck. He was in a hospital, with a needle linked to a bottle of liquid stuck into his arm, and judging by his exhausted expression, Luhan hadn’t the littlest bit of rest to stay by his side. «You should sleep» he croaked, because for some reason, his throat still hurt. 

«I’ll do it later» Luhan gently reassured him, stroking his face, «the doctors said they’ll send you home in the evening, since there’s no reason to spend the night here.»

Sehun shifted under the white sheet. «Xiumin?» he asked, before correcting himself. «Minseok? How is he?»

Luhan attempted a brave smile. «He’s having surgery. The bullet was struck in his left lung.»

«Is it... serious?»

«I’m sorry, baby.»

Sehun felt like throwing up. His insides kept twisting, and the drip already left a nasty purplish mark on his skin. He hated it. He hated lying there like a fool, while the man who treated him like a son was struggling between life and death. 

But the thing he hated the most was that it was all his fault.

«Chen panicked, when Xiumin was shot. He was starting to be sick just like that time in the car, but Xiumin murmured something to him, and he managed to control himself. He was the one calling the ambulance and explaining everything to the police, because the others were hysterical, even Tao. Apparently, they were kept captives for two hours.»

«Oh my God.» How could he ever look at his friends without feeling guilty, now? Poor Baekhyun, so sensitive, so easily frightened. Poor Kyungsoo. Poor Tao... 

And thinking that it would have been so easy, trying to call his father, or maybe insisting a little more with his mother to contact him. He remembered very well his pained expression, while he told him to fuck off. It was the face of a man who had been betrayed by those he loved.

And Sehun had loved him too, sometimes... but apparently, not enough.

The door opened and a nurse came in to unplug Sehun’s drip, while Chen appeared in the doorframe. He was pale and dishevelled, but he looked rather calm. «Shall we go home, guys?» he said. «I don’t want to leave the others alone.»

«What about Xiumin?» Sehun anxiously asked, and the man’s carefully collected face dropped. 

He averted his gaze, swallowing hard. «He’s in a coma» he softly replied. «The surgery went well, but he lost too much blood. His condition is very serious.»

Sehun couldn’t look at him. He felt sick on his stomach, and he leaned back on the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut. Luhan grabbed his hand and held it to his face, desperate for contact. 

«Let’s go home» Chen said, quietly, «shall we?»

He helped Sehun on his feet, along with Luhan. They limped together to the bus stop, then they took a seat, exhausted, emptied, holding each other. People were eyeing them strangely, but they did not care. 

«We should stop to buy something to eat» Chen said, suddenly. «There’s almost nothing left, at home. I can’t starve the kids.» He fumbled with his pockets. «Fuck. I forgot my wallet. Fuck.»

Sehun and Luhan exchanged a look. The man looked weird, almost unfocused, and his breath was starting to quicken. 

«I think there’s still some rice» Luhan suggested, trying to sound convincing, «and tea, I’m sure there’s tea. I don’t think we need a complete meal, tonight.»

Sehun said nothing, because he still felt too ashamed to talk. The news about Xiumin’s health weighed like a mountain on him. He felt responsible... and he felt even worse, seeing Chen act so strangely.

The man slowly nodded, acknowledging Luhan’s point. «You’re right» he murmured, «I think you’re right.» He fell back on the bus’ seat, breathing with more ease. «Sorry» he added, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.

Sehun closed his eyes, overwhelmed. «I should be the one who needs to apologize.»

«Sehun, don’t» Chen began, but the boy needed to let it out. 

«I neglected my dad» he shouted, «this is why he came looking for me, all drunk, and he...» He lost it, starting to cry hysterically. 

He could feel Luhan’s hand stroking his hair, trying to make him calm down, and then, after a little while, Chen pulled him into his arms, holding him tightly. «Don’t ever think like this» he stated. «Never, okay? Is that man, who is still hurting you even when dead, who makes you think you’re guilty of something. He was the one neglecting you first, by drinking and not taking care of a wonderful son like you, don’t ever let yourself forget it. You did what every kid of your age would have done: you tried moving on.»

Sehun whimpered. «But...»

Chen held him tighter, almost squeezing his breath away. «Please stop» he murmured, «I don’t want to cry. I promised Xiumin I would have taken care of you guys.»

Sehun let the man comfort him, stroking his hair. His warmth, his hammering heartbeat, were strangely soothing against his heated cheek. He felt drowsy, almost sleepy. He wanted to sleep forever.

When they arrived at the foster home, the others were all gathered in the common room, with Kyungsoo and Kai serving dinner.

«What...» Chen began, speechless. «What are you doing?»

«I asked the policemen if they could take me to the mall» the short boy replied, showing the big pot filled with delicious-smelling chicken soup. «I thought we all needed it.»

«Chen» Baekhyun asked, joining them, «how’s Xiumin? How come’s not with you?»

The man hesitated, slowly taking in the eight pair of eyes which were focused on him, still hopeful in spite of the evidence. «He’s in a coma» he replied, before straightening his back and nodding in a reassuring way, «don’t worry, guys. I’ll take good care of you all until he feels better.»

Sehun kept his gaze downcast, while Baekhyun’s face seemed to crumble down. He didn’t want to watch his friend’s pain, as well as he surely didn’t want to see the tough Tao cry like a baby in his boyfriend’s arms, or the way the always cool Kai kept sniffing while handing him a cup full of steamy soup. He sat and sipped on it slowly, welcoming the heat spreading in his gut. Luhan never left his side, always touching him in some way, as if he was afraid he could fall and shatter as if he was made of glass.

Chen sat among the boys, politely thanking Kai when he handed him a cup with shaky hands. He began to eat, and slowly, all the boys imitated him. Sehun was sure none of them really felt like doing it, but they didn’t want to leave Chen alone. They were his family, and they all loved him. Soon, the man’s eyes became glassy, and his tears started to spill into the cup. Everyone looked at him, participating in his pain. 

Baekhyun whispered something in Chanyeol’s ear before walking to Chen. «Chen» he called, touching gently the weeping man’s shoulder, «it’s alright, we can wait... we can wait until he’ll return home with us. You said it, it’s no big deal. Until that moment, please, don’t cry. It hurts, seeing you like this.»

«I’m s-sorry» Chen stuttered, hiding his face with his hands, «without him, I c-can’t. I already miss him so much...»

«Dad» Baekhyun murmured, «please, don’t cry.»

Chen raised his head, looking at the small boy who was staring at him with a sad but strangely solemn light in his eyes. «What... what did you call me?»

«You heard it» Baekhyun confirmed, leaning over to hug him, «you’ve been nothing but a father for me, since I came here. The one I never had before.» He sniffed, tightening his arms around the still sitting man. «Just wait for him, okay? When he comes back, we’ll throw a party, as we always do when we’re happy.»

Chen’s throat was too tight to let the man reply properly. He let the boy comfort him, closing his eyes, and he sighed. They were both remembering that morning when Baekhyun came to the foster home and the bond among the three of them was born.

A couple days passed slowly, and their routine was soon established. Chen would spend the mornings with his husband while the boys were at school, and he would alternate the night shift with Yi Fan, who was more than willing to help. For the afternoons, the boys would take turns to stay by the unconscious man’s side. It didn’t feel like a burden for any of them.

Sehun felt lost. Nobody yelled at him for what happened, and nobody seemed to be really angry with him, but everyone kept vaguely distant from him, as if they didn’t feel like having him around. As if silently disliking his presence in the foster home, or disapproving of it. He tried apologizing publicly, but everyone smiled at him, saying it wasn’t his fault, just like Chen said on the bus, but Sehun couldn’t believe them. 

The absence of Xiumin in the foster home was palpable. Sehun found himself walking to the kitchen many times while lost in his thoughts, hoping to find the man peeling some vegetables or making tea, and when he only found Kyungsoo and Kai he would experience a very weird feeling, as if he was slowly getting crazy. And it really seemed like it, honestly. He never did good at school, but his grades quickly dropped from discreet to awful. He was always sleepy, and he was always munching on something, in desperate need for comfort. He could not focus on anything, reading, watching TV, even strolling around with Luhan on some sort of date felt tiring, to him. He walked around engulfed in a perpetual sense of exhaustion.

Luhan’s dedication to him was touching, though. The Chinese boy would never leave his side, always following around as if scared that he could do something foolish. When they were alone in their room, he would always hold him, while Sehun tried forcing himself to cry or vent the terrible mix of feelings he kept bottled inside, and he would not react to anything harsh or weird he said, not even when Sehun told him to leave him alone or get the fuck out. He would always make sure he ate, got washed and dressed properly and attended classes. 

Han’s financial administrator gave Luhan an enormous amount of money as a compensation, but he wasn’t allowed to touch it until he turned legal. He wished donating it to the foster home, but Chen looked unsure about it. «I should ask Minseok first» he hesitated, worried. «Since it’s your money, I’m not sure we should accept it, even if it’s so nice of you.»

Baekhyun would come and try talking to Sehun, from time to time, even if their conversations were kind of one-sided, since the blonde very rarely replied to what he would say. Baekhyun told him that his relationship with Chanyeol was still going on, but the forced chastity was beginning to feel burdensome. «I can understand he’s afraid of physical contact and that he can’t tolerate the idea of having sex» he would say, «but I hoped it would be just temporary, and that I would convince him to trust me, little by little.» Apparently, though, Baekhyun’s plans didn’t succeed, since Chanyeol would even shy away from his kisses.

Sehun knew he was being foolish, and also a little selfish. He was not an idiot, he could see the sad look in Luhan’s eyes when he looked at him, but he couldn’t do anything for it. 

He acted that way because even Luhan’s love wasn’t strong enough to penetrate his cocoon of misery. 

Then, one day, while he was sitting in the common room with the others, hearing and seeing nothing, he heard the doorbell ring, and he watched, completely uninterested, as Chen went to open. 

When he saw the woman slowly walking in, his body responded on its own, making him bolt from the couch. «Mom!» he cried, flying right into the woman’s arms. He cried and cried, drenching her nice shirt in tears and mucus, howling and bellowing and sniffing like a little child. He didn’t care. He missed her so much, and he needed her so badly.

«Hush, my baby» she murmured to him, rocking slightly while she was holding him, «don’t cry.» But he didn’t listen. For the very first time from his father’s death, he cried to his heart content, until he felt drowsy and his eyes hurt. 

«Better, now?» the woman asked, when he parted from her. 

Sehun acknowledged he felt somehow better, even if his face was all puffy and his chest sore. His mind, at least, seemed to work a little better. «Why are you here, mom?» he asked, when he realized about the whole situation. «I thought the social assistants wouldn’t let you see me.»

«They still weren’t fully convinced, actually» she confirmed, «but Luhan insisted so much that in the end they agreed to let me see you for a couple hours. The lady who drove me here is waiting for me in the car outside, I can’t stay for long.»

Sehun was confused. «Luhan did what?»

«He’s a smart kid» his mother sighed, stroking her son’s bangs away from his face. «He called the social services’ central office and he figured out quickly how to contact me. We had a long talk... he was really concerned with you, honey. He said you needed to see me.»

Sehun felt tears pool at the corner of his eyes, again, in spite of the rivers he had already shed. «He was right» he murmured.

Luhan, he thought. He barely paid attention to Luhan, during all these misty days. He never asked him once if how he was feeling after the trial.

He stood up, unsure of what to do. The other boys silently took into the dorm, letting Sehun and his mom have some privacy. «I shall go to him» he said, but his mother was still stroking his hair, and it felt so nice that he accepted to sit on the couch with her. 

«Honey, I’m sorry, I know this might not be the thing you want to hear right now» she said, «but I need to know. Would you like attending your father’s funeral? Don’t worry. I can understand, if you don’t.»

Sehun swallowed. A funeral. A long ceremony involving people wearing black, a coffin, a corpse... He shuddered. «I don’t know. I think I should come, though. I mean, he’s still my dad.»

 _He was my dad_.

He cried again, leaning over his mother’s comforting chest, but he could feel the difference. These were tears of grief, tears meant to make him feel relieved afterwards. 

«Luhan» he called, when he entered the room. The boy was sitting at his desk, idly playing with a pencil while flipping through a book’s pages. He immediately raised his gaze to meet Sehun’s eyes, and when he saw the way the other was reaching out for him, he ran to him.

«Finally you’re back» he murmured, hugging him tight. «I missed you.»

Someone could have argued that those words didn’t make much sense, since Sehun hadn’t gone anywhere for the last few days, but somehow the meaning of that statement was clear to him. He was gone and now he was back, to Luhan, his Luhan, the very centre of his life.

«I’m sorry it took so long, baby» he said, leaning his forehead over the Chinese boy’s and kissing his lips.

\---oOo---

From that time onwards, Sehun did his best to kick his misery away. He helped Kyungsoo with the cleaning and the cooking, accepting the boy’s remarks if he messed up with something, he spent some more time studying with the help of Luhan and Baekhyun and he also insisted to take many turns keeping company to Xiumin. Sitting by the unconscious man’s side was the most difficult thing to do, honestly. Sehun couldn’t stop reminding himself that his condition was his fault, since the man took a bullet to protect him. 

While he was in the hospital room, he would bring a couple school books and do some homework, or he would bring Kyungsoo’s grocery list along to go shopping while on his way back. He never stayed on his phone or dozed off, since it didn’t feel respectful to him. He also kept watching the man’s face to be able to detect those slightest changes that might precede his awakening.

Because Xiumin _had_ to wake up, as simple as it was. Chen would have fallen apart, if he didn’t. 

The younger assistant kept doing his best for them. He made sure Yi Fan was good in his new flat, he took care of a beating at school in which Tao had been involved, and he would always be there for those who needed to talk, to cry or simply to rant with someone who could understand. Since Baekhyun called him dad, though, the relationship between them seemed to have deepened sensibly, to the point that a very irrational and unreasonable part of Sehun was even a little jealous of it.

Chen would be the best dad in the world, he was sure of it.

«Fuck» he cursed, fumbling for a tissue. He really didn’t want to cry near Xiumin, so he tried concentrating on Kyungsoo’s grocery list. Leeks, onions, mushrooms, pork, beef, rice, candy, oil, vinegar... he underlined it, since last time he took the wrong kind and he had to pay attention.

After a while, though, he found himself looking at Xiumin’s face, pale against the white pillow. He was still handsome, but he lost some weight and his lips were terribly chapped. Sehun fished in a drawer for a lip balm, spreading it on the man’s mouth like Chen showed him.

It was all he could do for the man who saved his life, he thought, tears stinging his eyes again, but he managed to hold them in.

Some days after, he attended his father’s funeral. Yi Fan, who was the eldest and technically wasn’t under Chen’s protection anymore, went with him. Sehun was uneasy while he shook many hands, all belonging to relatives he barely knew, but apparently, his father had a large number of cousins, uncles and aunts. He didn’t really know, before. They were all nice to him, and it somehow made the whole thing a little less frightening. He sat next to Yi Fan, who was watching over him as a big, protective older brother. «How are you feeling?» he asked Sehun after the ceremony, when he noticed the younger was swaying a little.

«I’ve been worse.» Sehun, though, accepted his help while he walked his way to pay his last homage to the coffin. Under his mother’s tearful eyes, he bent down and kissed the hard wooden surface lightly.

While they were on their way home, Yi Fan’s phone rang. The Chinese boy answered, his expression blank as the person on line kept talking and talking. 

«What is it?» Sehun asked, suddenly scared. «Bad news? Is it about Xiumin?»

The older boy, pale as a washed rag, passed the phone to him without saying anything. «Who is it? Hello?» Sehun yelled into the speaker, his guts knotted in fear.

«Sehun!» Tao immediately switched to Korean when he heard his friend’s voice. «Sehun, awesome news! Xiumin woke up!»

Sehun laid back against the bus’ seat, unable to talk. «Hello? Sehun?» Tao kept repeating, until Yi Fan grabbed his phone back and blurted out a river of foreign words into it.

«Let’s get down and switch bus» Yi Fan suggested. «We can reach the hospital before the others.»

Sehun nodded, resurfacing from the drowsiness that took over him. He wanted to see Xiumin alive and awake so bad, now.

After switching line, they ran like little kids into the hospital, challenging each other to arrive first at Xiumin’s floor. Naturally, Sehun lost because of Yi Fan’s long legs. When they arrived, they found all the others already waiting for them. 

«Chen’s inside» Kyungsoo explained. «He’s talking to the doctors.»

«What did they say?» Sehun asked, out of breath. Luhan, wearing a radiant smile, approached him.

«They said his vitals are okay, and that his injury is on its way to heal fully. He’s going to be alright.»

Sehun gave in a crazy yell, lifting the boy from the ground in a bear hug. «Ow» Luhan protested, but he held him tight in spite of everything, while Sehun lowered him down again and looked into his eyes.

«Tears are forbidden!» Baekhyun joked, swatting their heads. «Look, Chen’s telling us to come in.»

Slowly, the boys all entered the room, which soon felt a little cramped up. Xiumin was still lying on the bed, but his eyes were open and he was smiling. The first who run by his side was Baekhyun, who pushed everyone away to reach Xiumin. «I missed you so much!»

«Baekhyun» Xiumin whispered, his voice hoarse, «hello.»

The boy bent on the bed, stretching clumsily to hug the man without hurting him, and he ended up wrapping his arms around Xiumin’s head. «What are you doing, dear?» Xiumin asked, puzzled.

«Sorry» Baekhyun replied, detaching himself before beaming broadly. «I’m just so... so uber happy you’re fine.»

«I feel weak, actually» Xiumin stated, «stiff. And my mouth feels weird too.»

«The doctors said we’ll get home in a few days» Chen interrupted him, unable to hold it in. «Aren’t you happy?»

Xiumin looked at him. «What happened to you? You look terrible, your hair is all messy and your clothes aren’t ironed. I just hope you took care of the house while I wasn’t there.»

«Uh-oh.» Chen was thinking about the huge pile of laundry in the laundry room, since the boys knew how to wash socks and undies but nobody was really sure how to wash properly a nice sweatshirt or a wool jumper, so the dirty clothes had been piling up for a while.

Xiumin smiled to him. «I was kidding» he said, taking Chen’s hand and holding it gently. «Sure that I’m happy. I missed you all... and you especially.»

Chen blushed, because it felt weird being told that kind of sappy stuff in front of the kids, but he was also glad about it. 

The others approached Xiumin’s bed one by one and exchanged a couple words with him. Sehun suddenly felt very shy, when his turn came, and he squirmed uncomfortably behind Luhan, who sat on the mattress. 

«My God, you look glowing» Xiumin complimented the Chinese boy. «Being finally free did good to you. You look younger.»

 _And beautiful_ Sehun added into his head. Recently, Luhan had an haircut and bought new clothes which suited him well, but Xiumin was right: there was something different in him, something like an allure that wasn’t there before. Sehun found himself looking at him more than just often, feeling his mouth start to water at the thought of what they could do during the night, alone in their room.

«Sehun?»

The blonde jumped, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. He spaced out again, and now Xiumin was talking to him. «How are you feeling?»  
«Now that you are better, I feel better too» he replied, trying to sound smart, but the effect was a little ruined by his trembling voice. He would have liked adding something, but his throat was knotted, and he just kept silent. Sensing his awkwardness, Xiumin reached out for him with a broad smile.

«Come here, you silly. Hug me tight.»

And Sehun complied.


	15. Misunderstandings and happy endings

«Look» Kai said, pointing at a newspaper article, «there’s another one. _Hero saves a boy’s life_. There’s Xiumin’s photo too.»

«Lemme see» Sehun took the paper from the boy’s hands. «Uh... what kind of photo is this?»

«I know right» Kai laughed. «Kyungsoo and me have been collecting cuts from various newspapers while Xiumin was sick, to show him afterwards. I bet he’ll laugh over how they chose the worst pics of him.»

Sehun smiled. While Chen and Baekhyun went to the hospital with the van to take Xiumin home, the boys were getting ready for the psychologist’s return. Dinner was set, pots already bubbling on the stove under Kyungsoo’s attentive eyes, and Sehun was helping Kai and Joonmyeon colouring a big banner carrying the writing “welcome back, Xiumin”. It was terribly cheesy, since Yi Fan, who was awful at drawing, insisted to decorate it with little hearts and whatever, but Sehun was sure Xiumin would have liked it, if not for other reasons, because it was from them and was something heartfelt.

Luhan wasn’t around. He received a phone call from the man who was administering the money of the compensation, and he had been talking to him for a while. At first, Sehun stayed nearby, thinking that maybe Luhan would need his help for something, but he just went downstairs when it was clear that the Chinese boy could do everything by himself. He sounded so sure of himself, while talking in Chinese to that dude, that Sehun was still feeling a little lost. 

He painted one of Yi Fan’s slightly childish hearts with a red crayon, thinking. Luhan changed a lot, after the trial. Not that he didn’t like it, of course... but he was different, definitely. Now he behaved more like a grown young man, less like a startled child. His black eyes gave off a strong-willed vibe, and his new haircut was just... well, he was gorgeous. And he totally looked like the son of some plutocrat, or like a movie star. Girls (and also a lot of boys, to be honest) kept looking at him with their mouths agape, at school or when they went out. The best thing that occurred to them lately, in fact, was that since Han had been jailed, Luhan had finally set free from all the threats and torments the man inflicted to him. Now they could do what normal couples did: hang out in the streets, chill in a café in front of a steamy cup, stroll in the nearby park. Sehun liked lying on the grass with Luhan, close enough for their arms to touch, contentedly basking in the sunlight.

«Sorry, I’m late» Luhan said, kneeling next to Sehun and grabbing another crayon to help him.

Sehun watched him colour for a while, studying his face. «Is everything okay?»

«Uh? Yes» the boy replied, smiling. «Everything is okay.»

Sehun wasn’t quite convinced, and was about to ask further, but in that moment Kyungsoo barged in the room like an hawk. «Aren’t you finished yet? They’re parking the car outside!»

«Fuck» Sehun cursed, hurrying to finish his job. Something was weird with Luhan, he was sure of it. He couldn’t fool him with that look of his.  
But then Xiumin stepped into the room, held by Chen, who was smiling from ear to ear, and he soon forgot about it. The welcome party was great, even if the little psychologist kept frowning at the pictures featured on the newspapers’ cuts the boys collected for him. «Look at this, it’s from when I was still in college. Oh my God, this one was when I was still a fatso... and look at this! Why on Earth are my hair looking this weird?»

At a certain moment, Luhan approached Sehun. «I need to talk to you.»

The boy froze. «About what?»

Luhan looked at him. «In private.»

They left the common room, heading outside in the court. Chen wasn’t that good at cleaning the house or doing laundry, but was a decent gardener, and the grass looked nicely cut. A few flower pots were scattered around, and even if Sehun wasn’t an expert he could see the flowers had been watered and cared well enough. He knelt down to pick a tiny white geranium, putting it behind Luhan’s tiny ear, among his soft locks. 

«What do you need to tell me, my princess?» he joked.

The other snorted, looking at the ground. Something was definitely not right. «Sehun» he said, in a very simple way, «I was thinking about coming back to China.»

Sehun’s heart sank. «Why?» he asked.

«Not immediately» Luhan specified, «but when I’ll turn legal, in a few months. I’d like to attend college there. At school I’ve been told that there’s this university which would be good for me, since it has a psychiatry course that I’m really interested in. It’s the best in Asia, I believe. It’s very specific on how to deal with infantile traumas.» He went around explaining further about the college, about the professors, who were authorities in the field, about the prestige of the alma mater, but Sehun wasn’t really listening. His ears were buzzing, and his heart was a mess. 

He had no clue Luhan wanted to become a children’s psychiatrist. 

«This... this is a pretty big thing to digest» he said, when Luhan finally stopped talking at looked at him, all big eyes and flushed cheeks.

«I never told you before» the Chinese boy said, «because I wanted to be sure I could really afford it. The entrance exams are going to be tough, so I’ll need to start studying immediately.»

Sehun nodded. Then, after a short while, he shook his head. Luhan came near, stroking Sehun’s hair away from his eyes. «Are you angry?»

Yes, Sehun was angry, very angry. But not with Luhan, to be sincere. He was remembering a small episode happened during their last stroll in the streets nearby the foster home. A young mother and her small daughter were walking on the same sidewalk of them, and the child suddenly started crying out loud. At first Sehun was tempted to just walk away, but then he noticed that something was terribly wrong with the way the little girl kept shouting and trashing her arms around. She was disabled, he understood, and he felt terrible when he noticed how the poor mother tried calming her down with soothing words but the girl kept wailing, lost in her own world. Luhan, though, approached the child without any fear, kneeling down to whisper something to her. Immediately, she looked at him with wide eyes and smiled a little. He was good with kids... he knew how to deal with them. So it was perfectly fine, if he wanted to go abroad to study and become a children’s doctor. It was so fine Sehun had absolutely no problems with that. 

The problem was him, the always stupid, poor at school and selfish Oh Sehun, who was struggling to finish high school and had no clue what to do next. Sehun was no match for Luhan, who was so bright and had a brilliant future ahead. 

«Don’t cry» Luhan murmured. «Please.»

Sehun wiped his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. «Sorry. You should really do it, baby. I’m sure you’ll become a great doctor and you’ll be able to help many children in need. I’m sure of it, really.»

Even the things he said sounded so childish and idiotic, Sehun thought, hating himself. He tried smiling, but he couldn’t, because tears kept falling.

Luhan cupped his face between his hands. «Please» he repeated, «don’t. I’m not leaving you.»

«But you won’t be around» Sehun whined, so pathetically he cringed inside. «You won’t be with me during the day, you won’t be sitting at my side while we eat, you won’t be sleeping with me at night.»

Their love story would crash in a million pieces, he thought. Life wasn’t a movie, it was very unlikely that two young boys could make it through a long distance relationship. Also, Luhan would have stayed away for an awfully long time, even if he could come to visit during breaks, and Sehun really couldn’t think of spending long, empty days without having Luhan around.

«Sehun» Luhan quietly said, «the foster home can’t be our home forever. This was just a temporary situation, you know it was going to end, sooner or later.»

Sehun knew he was right, and he also knew that he was being stubborn, protesting that way, but he couldn’t help it. He shook his head, miserable, while Luhan kept stroking him. 

«I’m sorry» he apologized, «I need some time.»

«Sure» Luhan murmured, in a small voice, but he stayed put while Sehun walked away. 

That night, Sehun went to sleep on the couch in the common room, because he really didn’t have the heart to face Luhan. 

«Hey» Chen greeted him the morning after. «How come you are here?»

«Uh... I’m not feeling well and I didn’t want to infect Luhan» Sehun lied. Chen felt his forehead.

«You don’t look sick. Did something happen?»

Sehun shook his head no, and thankfully Xiumin made his appearance, entering the common room and distracting Chen. «Hello, my love» the younger assistant purred, holding his husband into his arms to kiss him on the lips. Sehun watched, mesmerized. It happened very rarely, that the couple indulged in that kind of affectionate gestures in front of the boys, but it was nice seeing the way Xiumin tried to shy away before Chen grabbed him in a tight embrace and pecked his cheek playfully.

They were so cute together. 

«Sehun? Sehun, what’s wrong?» Xiumin asked, bending down to take the crying boy’s face into his hands. 

Sehun didn’t want to talk. He didn’t feel like explaining how childish and unreasonable he was being, so he kept weeping without saying anything. Xiumin stayed by his side while Chen returned with a cup of warm tea, which Sehun gulped down greedily.

«I’m sorry, it’s nothing, really» he stated, trying to sound convincing. «I was just feeling a little emotional.»

«It’s alright» Xiumin reassured him, «you’ve gone through a lot, lately. It’s a normal reaction.»

Sehun smiled, trying not to make the kind psychologist worry unnecessarily. 

He knocked at his own room’s door. «May I come in?»

The Chinese boy came to open, eyes barely slitted and face puffy. He just took a look at Sehun’s face, and it was enough to let the blonde in. «Come.»

Sehun took a step inside, without looking at him. «About yesterday...»

Luhan shot him an annoyed glance. He looked like someone who didn’t get even an hour of sleep. «Yes?»

«I meant it, really. You should go, if this is what you want to do.» _How incredibly generous of yours, Oh Sehun._ Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. 

«Well, thanks.» Luhan started to undress, putting on a shirt and buttoning it up quickly. Sehun looked at his milky nape, where the hair were thin and absolutely lovely to touch, overwhelmed by the need of kissing it.

«Luhan...»

That cold stare, again. «Yes?»

_Please, come up with something smart to tell him, this time. Something that won’t make you sound like a moron._

«I love you» he murmured. «And I’ll support your dreams.»

Luhan sighed. «Thank you. I know it’s difficult, for you.»

Sehun smiled a little. At least, Luhan didn’t look that offended anymore. He slowly crept at his back, wrapping his arms around the boy’s middle, and Luhan gently touched his fingers. «To be honest, I got a little mad at you, yesterday. I hoped you would be a little more supportive of me. It was a hard decision to take, and thinking that you’ll be so miserable and lonely in my absence felt unsettling, to me.»

«I have no idea of what I’ll do after high school» Sehun revealed, resting his chin on his lover’s bony shoulder. «Probably I’ll look for a job, but I’ve never seriously thought about it.»

«Really?»

«Yes» Sehun replied, ashamed. «I’m sorry.»

«Don’t be sorry. But you should think seriously about your future, Sehun. We’re not children anymore. We are going to become adults in a little time.»

«Maybe I don’t want to grow up.»

Luhan disentangled himself from Sehun’s hug, putting on socks and trousers. «Please wear your clothes, or they’ll yell at us for being late.»

While Sehun complied, he felt dying inside. Luhan was disappointed with him.

That afternoon, he studied with Baekhyun, trying to do his best. «I’ve never seen you so focused before» the other boy marvelled. «What happened?»

«I want to get a decent grade at my finals.»

Baekhyun just looked at him with a half smile, and they went on with the homework. Sehun loved Baekhyun when he was sensitive enough to sense when it wasn’t the right time to ask unnecessary questions. It was one of the features he appreciated the most about him.

Luhan wasn’t around, busy with a prep school for his university entrance test.

«Any progress with Chanyeol?»

«Didn’t you say you wanted to get good grades?» the boy pouted. «You’re already distracting yourself.»

«Sorry.»

Baekhyun looked at him, worried. «Are you okay?»

«Not really, but I’m working on it.»

Baekhyun sighed. «Anyway, the reply to your question is no. He keeps being afraid of being touched. He just tolerates holding my hand and sitting or lying beside me, but without any body parts in contact. We talk a lot, and it’s great, and he recently began calling me baby and stuff, but this isn’t going anywhere.» He paused, making a face. «To be honest, it’s getting tiring.»

«It will get better» Sehun commented, «I think he just needs some more time.»

«How long have I been waiting for him, Sehun?» Baekhyun suddenly snapped, flipping the book closed. «It feels like forever. It’s always me, the one who needs to be careful, to keeps his hands still, to avoid being too hyper or too enthusiast not to startle him. I’m sick of controlling myself. I just wish I could let myself go without wondering if he’ll go nuts.»

Sehun shut his mouth. He didn’t want to annoy Baekhyun further with his foolish advice. The boy, though, wasn’t stupid, and slowly dragged his chair closer. «But Sehun, something is really wrong with you today. Why are you crying, now?»

Sehun could have started shouting out of frustration. He was crying again, and he was sick of it. He revealed everything to his friend, telling everything about Luhan’s decision to study abroad and to leave Korea.

«Uh» Baekhyun said, when he was finished, «I think we’ll both need a chunk of chocolate, after this conversation.»

«I know, right» Sehun agreed, sniffing. All of a sudden, though, he remembered about something else he had been dying to ask Baekhyun but never really got the chance to. «And how are things going with Chen and Xiumin?»

The big smile that appeared on his friend’s flushed face spoke clearly enough. «Good» he replied. «I know it might look foolish, but I’ve grown accustomed calling them my dads, and they don’t seem to mind either. It’s just a word» he added, as an explanation, «but it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.»

«I think they have a preference for you over all the others, since you were the first to come here and the first they took care of.»

Baekhyun blushed a little. «I just wish they could be my parents for real» he murmured. «Being an orphan sucks.»

Sehun looked at him. «I didn’t know your biological parents died.»

«My mother was a drug addict. She died shortly after abandoning me, and when Xiumin made some researches about my father, he found out he was dead too. So, here I am, waiting for my daddy long legs to turn me into a rich Cinderella boy.»

Sehun smiled. Baekhyun was always the best. «You still up for that chocolate?»

«Yup.»

They went downstairs, heading to the kitchen. While they looked through the food in the cabinets, though, they heard a heated talking coming from Xiumin’s office. Someone was discussing, and there was a female voice talking with the two assistants.

«What’s going on?» Sehun asked, puzzled. A woman in the foster home was something strange.

«No clue.» Baekhyun grabbed a glass from the counter and placed it on the wall, hoping to hear better. He listened while Sehun found the chocolate and stuffed a big chunk into his mouth. 

«Something interesting?»

Baekhyun looked at him, his eyes wide. Then, slowly, he detached himself from the wall, handing the glass to Sehun. «You judge.»

Sehun leaned his ear on the base of the glass, and he heard the mysterious woman’s voice. «...we’re going to use the popularity you two gained after Minseok’s name appeared on the newspapers and on TV. I’m pretty sure this will do a huge difference. As an activist for gay rights, I think that your wedding has a good chance to be acknowledged by the government.»

«You mean» Chen asked, in a shaky voice, «that if our marriage gets approved, we could finally adopt?»

«You might» the woman amusedly replied, «if you’re interested in having children.»

Xiumin didn’t comment on that statement. The only sound Sehun heard from him was a throaty sound.

«They’re going to be officially a married couple» he whispered, turning to Baekhyun, who was almost choking on a piece of chocolate as big as the palm of his hand. 

«Uh, great. You can listen if you want, I’m heading back to the dorm.»

Sehun put the glass away. «Aren’t you happy?»

Baekhyun hunched his shoulders. «Are you deaf or what? You heard them. They were so fucking happy about adopting a cute, little child.»

Sehun looked at him. «Don’t tell me you’re jealous.»

«I know it’s stupid and stuff» the other angrily retorted, «but yes, I am. I am jealous of this kid, whoever he’s going to be. And now excuse me, but I have to get my daily dose of pimples and body fat.» Sehun watched, helpless, as Baekhyun grabbed the remnants of the chocolate and shoved it into his pocket, walking to the dorm. And thinking that they all looked so happy, just a few days before. What the fuck was happening to all of them?

Xiumin entered the kitchen, a half-smile lingering on his lips. «Dinner shall be ready in a few minutes.» He started taking out pots and pans from the cupboard, then noticed Sehun’s face and sighed. «You heard everything, didn’t you?»

«Baekhyun heard as well» Sehun told him. 

Xiumin closed his eyes, grabbing the pan’s handle and brandishing as if it was a weapon of some sort. For a crazy moment, Sehun believed the man was about to hit him with it. «Go to him. Don’t leave him alone» the psychologist muttered in the end, putting the pan on the stove and starting to drizzle oil on it.

«Okay» he murmured, defeated. He slowly walked to the dorm to find Baekhyun, but when he was about to knock on his room’s door, he heard the sound of his friend’s voice. Chanyeol was with him, and was comforting him with kind words, the kind Sehun could never think of. Baekhyun had already all the comfort he needed, he thought, feeling lonely and sad.

«Hello» Luhan greeted him, when he entered their room. Sehun stared at him.

«I thought you were at prep school» he stupidly stated. 

«I was» the Chinese boy confirmed, raising from the bed he’d been sitting onto, «but I kept thinking of the way I talked to you this morning, and I felt bad.»

«There’s no need...»

«Please listen» Luhan interrupted him, closing the distance between them and grabbing Sehun’s elbows. «Listen to me and keep your mouth shut. And I beg of you, don’t jump to conclusions before I am finished.»

«O-okay.»

Luhan looked at him. «Let’s sit.»

«Okay» Sehun repeated, like an idiot. They both sat on his bed, a little apart, feeling awkward.

«I told you I was going to leave for China» Luhan began, eyes focusing on the floor, «and I have no intentions to change my mind. But you didn’t let me finish, last time, and then we both got mad and stuff.» He raised a hand to touch Sehun’s face. «I wanted to ask you to come with me.»

Sehun’s mouth fell agape. He opened it, then he closed it, like a fish. His mind was blank, absolutely blank. Worried by his reaction, Luhan went on. 

«We’re the same age, and our birthdays are just a couple months apart. I thought that maybe you could wait here for a little time, and when you would turn eighteen you could follow me to China. We could live together, you know. But... but this is just an idea, I don’t want you to think I already planned stuff for you. I just... I just believed you could have gotten it wrong. I never want to dump you or whatever. Actually, I can’t think of my future without you. I mean...» he took Sehun’s hand, bringing it to his lips. «You are my saviour» he whispered, ghosting a kiss over the knuckles, «I could I leave you behind like that?»

«Was I?» Sehun muttered, when he remembered how to talk, because Luhan’s eyes were turning his brain into mush, «or were you, the one who saved me? I still need to figure it out.»

Luhan stared at him, his gaze intense. «Your reply, baby.»

«Yes» Sehun breathed, grabbing Luhan’s hand to pull him closer for a kiss. «Oh my God, yes.»

Then, the magic chemistry that was always there between them finally kicked in, while their lips met and their bodies found each other. Sehun pushed Luhan on the bed, devouring his mouth in kisses. «I’m such an idiot» he breathed, in between, «and I’m so sorry.»

«Yes» Luhan joked, gently biting at the side of his throat, «and you need punishment.»

«More like getting forgiven.»

Luhan slapped the small of his back, and Sehun giggled, tugging at the boy’s shirt. «Off.»

They undressed, hissing from the intensity of the feeling when their bare skins were pressed together. Preparation was quick, because they couldn’t wait to be the closest they could. Luhan had to help Sehun wearing his condom, because his fingers were trembling so hard he couldn’t even rip the package open. The Chinese boy threw his head back when Sehun thrust, pushing all the way in, filling him to the brim. Instead of a heated, frantic pace, though, they soon settled in something slow and sweet, with Sehun barely undulating his hips into Luhan. 

«Sehun, it feels so... oooh...»

Sehun was too concentrated breathing to reply properly. He kissed Luhan, his mouth, his jaw, his chin. They were both, slowly, excruciatingly, leaning towards a shared orgasm. He grabbed the boy’s hips, supporting him with his hands, and Luhan moaned wantonly. 

«I love you» he murmured, before the final wave crashed over the both of them. They rode it together, relishing in every little aftershock, until the pleasure subsided. 

«I love you so much» Sehun repeated, kissing the spent boy’s cheek. _«Wo ai ni.»_

Luhan slitted an eye open. «Are you already practising?»

«Kind of. I’ll have to work hard on my Chinese, though.»

«They said motivation is all you need, sometimes.»

Sehun punched him on his elbow and Luhan squirmed, trapped beneath him. «Ow. My turn now.» He propped on an elbow, staring at Sehun intensely. «I love you» he murmured, in Korean, before adding: _«Wo ai ni.»_

«How many languages do you know?» Sehun asked, curious, stroking his soft bangs. Luhan chuckled.

_«Je t’aime. Ti amo. Te quero. Ja liubliu tiebia. Aishiteru. Need more?»_

Sehun slapped him again. «Don’t show off now.» 

And then he leaned his head over Luhan’s chest, listening to his quiet heartbeat, feeling finally at peace. 

\---oOo--- 

A loud banging on the door made him bolt from the bed just a few minutes later. «Sehun! Are you naked inside? Sehun!!!» 

«Coming, coming» he muttered, disentangling himself from Luhan’s embrace, slipping into a pair of trunks and shielding his boyfriend’s nudity with a blanket before opening. Baekhyun was practically jumping on the threshold. 

«Do you remember the thing we eavesdropped before?!» the boy yelled in his face. «Oh hello Luhan. Ew. Your room reeks of sex.» 

«Look, Baek, we’re kinda busy at the moment, so...» 

The boy grabbed him. «THEY’RE GOING TO BE MY DADS FOR REAL!» 

«What?!» 

«Xiumin and Chen» Baekhyun said, enthusiast, «they got contacted by this woman, an activist for gay rights, who is sure she can help them become a real married couple in Korea. And she said they could legally adopt a son afterwards... GUESS WHO.» 

«Baek, please, my ears...» 

«It’s me, Sehun! They’re going to adopt me!» 

«Oh?» 

«They told me» Baekhyun said, happy, «they told me it was their intention since the beginning. I’m going to have a family!» 

«Really? I’m so happy for you!» 

«I’m not just happy--» Baekhyun shouted, unable to control his joy, «I’m jubilant!» 

Dinner felt like a party, again. Chen and Xiumin gave the announcement to the boys gathered around the table, and everyone cheered for them. Baekhyun’s happiness was touching. 

«Wait a moment» Chanyeol suddenly said, «isn’t someone missing?» 

«Where is Yixing?» Tao confirmed, looking around. 

«Joonmyeon isn’t anywhere to be seen too.» 

«I sent him into the kitchen to get the cake» Xiumin said, standing to go check. 

In that moment, a noise was heard, echoing through the walls. It came straight from the kitchen, and everybody followed the psychologist, scared that something bad might have happened, again, to spoil that happy moment. 

The scene they stumbled onto, though, was something totally unexpected. Joonmyeon was pinned against the fridge, kissing Yixing with fervour. Yixing’s hands were on the shorter boy’s ass, squeezing it in a rather unmistakable way. Everybody stared at them, blinking, until the Chinese boy silently parted from his lover an apologetic little smile. 

«Well» Baekhyun commented, dumbfounded, «this was quite unexpected.» 

«Just another reason to party, I think» Sehun said, squeezing Luhan’s hand and smirking. 

The Chinese boy said nothing, but leaned on his shoulder, sighing contentedly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who took the time to comment, send kudos, subscribe. It's incredible how much love this weird little story got along its way. Also, I'll turn this into a series, adding some one-shot fics about the other side couples (Kaisoo, Taoris, Baekyeol ~~and Sulay LOL~~ ), since there's still many things to tell about them ^__^  
> Stick with me and I hope I'll be able to post soon. Bye<3333

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language so, please, be respectful. I'd love to hear what you think about this story though, so if you liked it, please comment below. ^__^


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